Bad bad day today (long)

ssaimee

Ok it has been almost 2 months since the m/c and it seems like its getting harder for me to move on. I have done so good since then, able to put it out of my mind or at least not really think about it too much. Today was not that kind of day, everything reminded me of it, every song on the radio, every thought in my head. I worked last night and got off at 6am, we were having homecoming at Church so I slept 3 hours and went to church, tired, bitter and hoping nothing would remind me of it at church. Well so much for that thought, I get to church and we sing What a day that will be, well in the mood I was in I kept seeing different words on the page as in, When my Jesus I shall see became my baby I shall see and the one who died for me became the one who died in me. It was gutwrenching but I was strong. The Preacher talked about children but I was strong, We had our dinner and as I am leaving a older lady in the church looks at me and says. "Aww your starting to show" It was like getting the wind knocked out of me. I simply said that it was just fat and politely informed her that we lost the baby 2 months ago. How that fact escaped her I don't know, everyone else knows. She then started talking about some girl having a baby, I ignored that bc I was feeling a little dizzy and I was shaking, so I finally got to leave and completely broke down on my way home. So much for being strong anymore. Now I am sitting at work, mad at the world and trying to get in a better mood, Somebody please cheer me up!!!

DereKim

im so sorry you're having a bad day. what keeps me going is having faith that we will conceive again very soon. i know its not easy to just move on but what else can we do? we all have our bad days...try to stay positive.

 

oh, and if it makes you feel any better i was jamming to dancing queen at a bar the other night and totally wiped out on my butt...and i was sober. good times! 

 

thinking of you.  

ssaimee

That would be so embarassing, thank you for sharing, I lol'd! I hope that we can concieve soon, I find out tomorrow when I can start TTC, hopefully she will say now!