Is this a crazy tale?.....LONG

candycane3t

Our family is currently in turmoil with my aunt (mom's sister) in the hospital with brain cancer diagnosed 2 weeks ago and my cousin (her son) diagnosed 2 days later that he had stomach cancer.  The prognosis is not good with both of them in stage 4 however they both are very positive and are fighting the battle with all they have.  My cousin has a rare stomach cancer that only 1 other person in the whole world has been diagnosed with and sadly he is dead.  My mom's family is quite large with 8 sisters and 4 brothers but as crazy as this sounds we are a tight knit 60+ group.  I have been at the hospital on and off day and night so it has helped keep me occupied and my mind off my sadness or rather shift my sadness to dealing with loosing them within the next 6 months.  It is very emotional day by day with 5 to 10 people at the hospital at all times, thank goodness they are both in the same hospital, with emotions hitting everyone at different times and both my aunt and cousin are so positive but when the emotion hits them it's even harder.  I am trying to be strong for them and listen to what they need to say through their tears without crying myself.  I am drained at this point, I drive home crying and am crying typing this right now. 

I know I haven't been on here much this weekend but I am trying to keep up with the posts on you ladies, I care about all of you especially the regulars that I am getting to know better day by day.

Anyway back to is this crazy tale.... last night when I was leaving the hospital at midnight, my uncle walked me out and we were talking about different things when he brought up my m/c.... super sweet of him to even talk about it with all that is going on.  He asks me if the doctors have discovered why I have had 2 m/c's or if there is a reason I can't carry to term.  I say no and that the doctor is quite optimistic.  He then tells me something that I can not get out of my head and need to hear from you ladies that this is an old wives tale....

He said that my mom who had 2 m/c herself (I only knew of one, a little boy, which resulted in my mom getting KU with me 3 months later) and he said that the doctors told my mom that she is not able to carry boys to term.  Is this even possible???  Would the doctors have told my mom that to make her feel better?  She has had 2 kids, both girls but I've never heard such a crazy thing.

wags2008

I had a miscarriage recently and thought from the beginning it was going to be a boy. I mentioned this to my best friend recently who also mentioned that most miscarriages are boys and that she wondered if I was going to have a boy... interesting that your uncle mentioned this.

 My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family during this very difficult time.

happyhoopla

First, I am so sorry about what's happening with your family. You all will definitely be in my thought and prayers. As far as the whole "boy" theory, I have no idea, but I will say that it is very typical for boys to have a harder time when born prematurely.

bebeblues

I  have heard of this. I actually know a girl who delivered her baby boy at 29weeks and though he survived weighing only 2 lbs, they told her that if she were to get pregnant with another boy, she would automaticaly be bed rest early into the pregnancy. I'm not sure what it is specifically called, (beacuse I remember that it was termed something), or what specifically happened, I just know that she went into labor and the baby's heart rate was elevated, and they couldn't stop her labor from progressing and they told her to be prepared if she planned to have more children that it would most likely repeat if she had another boy.

MsPeay

First, I am so sorry to hear about your family, and hope that your days with them are peaceful. You know what, my mom had a m/c w/ her first child, I did not know it, my Mom died when I was 20 and never talked about children, but when my m/c happened, my aunt told me that the same thing happened to my mom and then she got ku with me three months later. I too have heard about boys being harder to carry, ironically my little one was a boy. Maybe it could be that boys sit lower than girls? also wives tale, but I believe there is a lot of truth in this.

*shortie

I'm sorry to hear about all of the terrible things happening to your family right now. In regards to the boy thing, I've never heard of it, but with both of my m/cs, both my dh and I thought they would be boys! Weird!

*shortie

I just googled it, and apparently, some women's immune systems attack male fetuses kind of like an allergy - especially if you've had a baby boy before!

 

"Dr Henrietta Svarre Nielsen, who led the research, said: "It is known that when a female carries a male, it is strange to her immune system.

"And up to 22 years later, you can pick up cells in her immune system which act against males."Carrying a male baby is normally tolerated - but in some cases, that obviously goes wrong."She said her research was at an early stage, so had not identified what the problem might be.

But Dr Svarre Nielsen said it might be that the woman?s body has an unusual immune reaction to the presence of male cells, which then worsens so it is triggered even by being pregnant"

 -https://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/5094676.stm

 

https://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2006/jun/20/medicineandhealth.familyandrelationships 

 

HisKathy

I have a bachelors degree in genetics and it's quite likely this is a genetic issue.  There are some fatal diseases that are linked to the X chromosome.  Females can be carriers because they have 2 X chromosomes and as long as they have a healthy copy of the gene they will be uneffected.  If a male has the X chromosome with the disease, he will have no other X chromosome to save him and will be effected, or die.  If this is a genetic issue, then it is very likely that you could also be a carrier of whatever the disease is, in which case any baby boys you would have would have a 50% chance of inheriting the effected chromosome and not surviving.  Have you had any genetic studies done on your babies or yourself?  I'm sorry that I don't know of any specific diseases offhand but if you think this might be something worth persuing you can discuss it with your doctor.