confession

redshoegirl

Lately, I've found TTCing...boring. That's gotta be bad. I don't mean that I don't want a baby anymore (because you all know that I DO), but now that we've been going since the beginning of the year and I've gotten all of these BFNs in a row, it's just gotten kind of - dull. Not the sexy time part, because that's always fun, but the whole thing in general. It's like the world's slowest merry-go-round: AF, wait 2 weeks, FWP, ovulate, FWP a little more, wait another 2 weeks, BFN, AF again, and so on around in a circle.

I feel like maybe I'm not explaining myself that well. But I guess I wish it could still be exciting and fun like it was at the beginning and instead I just feel...resigned. Especially this cycle. It's been very, "Yeah OK, here we go again. Time to FWP. Ovulation in a couple days from now. Then AF two weeks after. Whoopdeedoo." I guess I'm not really getting all wound up about a BFN anymore, and in a way that makes me sad.

Am I alone in this? Anyone else just feeling kind of blah about the whole thing? 

mlmtgg

Yes. Yes and more yes. the entire cycle (no pun intended) is so tedious. I yearn for the excitement and nervous energy of POAS and not the fact that that has become . .. .normal. and generally negative.

sometimes I've thought the answer is to stop all of this and just let it go (not the wanting to have a baby, but all of the other stuff) - but frankly it's impossible. it's now carved into my brain. and I'm not getting any younger. 

megjr8

I havent been TTCAL for that long but I think you explained yourself well... I can understand the lolly-gagging month after month feeling just by reading your post.

~*BREN*~

I don't think you're alone.  It's been 7 months since my MC and I've had like 3 cycles.  I'm angry, tired and kind of just over it.  I want to be pregnant so bad, but I feel like it's never going to happen.  I mean we can't even try because my cycles are still so effed up.  I keep trying to think of other things to occupy my time...because this whole TTC bit is so tiring.  Hang in there...we'll get through it.

KelinandKevin

I couldn't have said it better myself.  I feel the exact same way.

redshoegirl

~*BREN*~:

I'm angry, tired and kind of just over it.  I want to be pregnant so bad, but I feel like it's never going to happen. 

Yes! This is what I was trying to say! I just feel over it. And I still want it, but I also feel like it's never going to happen. I just feel dull and unexcited and part of me wants to give up, but the other part of me desperately wants to keep going. It sucks so much. 

Mrs0815

Here here sister. I could care less about all of it. I wish I wasn't so over it, but it's my 7th cycle ttc post mc, and 14th overall with opks, charts, and preseed. I'm done. It 's the most boring thing about me.

mrsfarmer0711

I feel the same way!