OMG! I wish I could quit my job!

PrincessShay80

Today I went it to talk to my HR manager- I explained to her that I needed to take today and tomorrow off because emotionally I am a mess since finding out our 2nd IVF failed yesterday. Now, keep in mind that I am crying while I am trying to explain this to her. She tells me she understands, but that I need to get my priorities straight, because my mind is not at work. Now I am a top producer and I just had my yearly review and it went great. Over the past 4 1/2 months I have taken off all of 4 days for my 2 IVF cycles (time which I had to take) So I guess if I had taken a vacation to Hawaii that would be okay, but because I took my PTO for medical reasons that's wrong. I was serioulsy so mad as I was sitting there, I so wanted to quit on the spot, but DH would kill me if I did something like that w/out talking to him. I understand that I have a job to do, but come on lady give me a freaking break, its not like I chose to deal with IF!

Am I wrong in feeling like this?

CharBart

Definitely not wrong feeling like that...I think this HR mgr needs to find a new career.  HR is supposed to be where you go to feel safe about your problems & they are supposed to help you...I guess she would rather just have you call in sick as opposed to tell her what is really going on.  Like I said, she needs a new career.

And I am so very sorry you are feeling so terrible.

((hugs))

K8-B

You are definitely not wrong. She is. Any person who would tell you that the job comes first and your family second should be shot. This happened to me a little over a year ago. Needless to say, about a week after it happened, I turned in my two week notice w/o even having another job lined up.

I was blessed to find the job I have now and love it. My boss is very understanding that family comes first and has been very supportive so far in our process to get PG.

If you want, I can come out there and throat punch her for you!

yodasmistress

I would calmly explain to her that if you were taking time off to take care of a sick child that would be acceptable... therefore taking time off to grieve the failure of your IVF should be too.  I would also stress that this is a MEDICAL need (albeit psychological).

terraflora

That is absolutely outrageous and I am getting so furious reading your post.  Honestly at a later point I would submit a formal complaint about her actions. It is absolutely unacceptable. You can take PTO when you see fit and especially for a crisis situation like you are in now.

But for now I would not even think about it. Who cares what that HR manager thinks? You are doing what you need to do for yourself and that is that. Sometimes you just have to take care of yourself and let others get out of your way. 

Sorry for such a strong response, but it makes me really upset that anyone could be so cruel when you are crying and have had to deal with such a terrible heartache.

Babsie7

That's terrible! Talk about a crappy HR manager! I'm so sorry. It's too bad because you were trying to be open and honest about the situation. Maybe now you should just *take* that trip to Hawaii if that's what she'd rather hear.

GL!

MissSilverlake

That really is insensitive! People just don't think. I'm sorry you had to deal with that because you certainly don't deserve it.

TPmom

wow, that is ridcilous. i've never had a real good experience with HR before. it is your personal time that you earned - you should be able to use it as you choose. what she said is probably against some type of labor law, especially it pertains to a medical condition.

Dragonfly1226

PrincessShay80:

She tells me she understands, but that I need to get my priorities straight, because my mind is not at work. 

This part really pissed me off. I'm so sorry she said that to you! As far as I'm concerned, you DO have your priorities straight! Your life and family and happiness come before your job! Of course your mind wasn't on work. Hello! That's exactly what you were trying to tell her! You are totally right to be upset about this. If you have the time, you should be able to take it. I want to go right into that office and give your HR rep a piece of my mind! I'm so, so sorry. You do not deserve this on top of everything else. (((((HUGEHUGS)))))

gringa78

terraflora:

That is absolutely outrageous and I am getting so furious reading your post.  Honestly at a later point I would submit a formal complaint about her actions. It is absolutely unacceptable. You can take PTO when you see fit and especially for a crisis situation like you are in now.

But for now I would not even think about it. Who cares what that HR manager thinks? You are doing what you need to do for yourself and that is that. Sometimes you just have to take care of yourself and let others get out of your way. 

Sorry for such a strong response, but it makes me really upset that anyone could be so cruel when you are crying and have had to deal with such a terrible heartache.

 

This exactly.  ((HUGS))

Mouseygail

i'm so angry for you!!!!