i hate my mother in law

Cryleen09

I hate her. She hates me. Its very mutual. I feel bad for her because she still hasnt gotten over her son marrying me and now that were expecting she is treating it like a tragedy. She is stressing me out because she is upsetting DH. Meanwhile, I couldn't care care less what she has to say about anything. I was told today to please refrain from announcing our pregnancy because she hasnt found a way to tell FIL yet. Oh, and she said she can't understand why my parents are happy about this. Seriously? ARRRGH she can suck it.  Vent Over.

 

By the way, I kissed his whole familys ass for two years and when they STILL didnt like me after that I gave up. Its not like I didnt try. 

CapitolBaby

What a b!tch!  I can't stand my MIL, also.  There's a reason I'm almost 13 weeks, and she doesn't even know about this pregnancy yet yet.  As soon as she knows, she'll want to take this baby as her own, and I know she'll be belittling and condescending. 

babygirlpriest

Geez! Are you freaking kidding me?

I mean, I thought it was rude when people asked, "was it planned" or "Twins? Guess you guys got fertility treatment, huh? What was wrong?"

But that's just unforgiveable. I hope DH is still able to fully celebrate this wonderful news.

chelsearosehicks

My best friend has this same problem. Her ILs are from Puerto Rico and when they got married they didn't want to come to the wedding because they didn't approve. They did go but no smile in the pictures. Then when they found out she was pregnant they were devestated. Then they grew to love the baby but no that she has to little girls, they love the older one and ignore the younger. She does everything she can to make nice with them but nothing helps. She still tries but mostly has stopped caring what they think.

jctewes

Announce your pregnancy when you want!! Dh2bs sister hates me. I get a long pretty good or at least i think i do with his mom and dad but dont worry about them. That is just awful, why wouldnt your parents be happy that you guys are expecting?? What does your dh say about all this??

Beans1611

I am sorry you have to put up with that.  With all the bad news out there in the world, you would think that people would be happy to hear good news like having a baby.  It is a shame that some people are just down right miserable.  Hang in there! 

Chris10CW

Wow, f that.  I guess that's one person who won't be seeing her grandchild.

AJflowers

Wow.  What does DH say about all of this?

nlvaden

Maybe you and DH need to sit down and have a heart to heart with her about this.  Find out why and then say she needs to accept the whole family and if she cant do that they you will go and create you own seperate family. 

anabell0920

I hate my MIL also and she is not a fan of me and has said that before. Now though she's all "excited" about the baby. I hope she realizes this baby is a part of me the woman she never wanted with her son.

 

I say you ignore her, don't talk to her, announce away screw her! and I know personally I would be telling my DH he needs to stick up for me if I were you.

RadicalDreamer143

Not that it excuses her, but it probably has to do with your (and your DH's) age. I've seen it happen quite a few times in my own family. I think when I hit 25 and was done with school/had a career did my family stop watching my stomach with trepidation and switched it over to, "So when are you getting married/having kids?"

bonnin507

She's a peach!  At least you've given up letting her attitude really get to you.  My MIL is a pain too.  She's never happy unless all attention is on her, which it often is but usually negative because she makes such a fool of herself.  I don't want to tell her about our pregnancy either because she goes around telling everyone she's such a great grandma to our nephews & complains that her sons never bring them over enough to see her.  Again looking for attention.  She has 2 young sons from her 2nd marriage & treats them horribly, plus her house is very uncleanly, so I sure don't want to hand my child over to her either.  I'm just dreading it! 

NeverKnew

Sucks for you.  Probably sucks worse for your DH.  That's such a miserable situation, I'm sorry.

With the holding off on the news until she can grow balls enough to tell your FIL, I'd either have your DH call him directly, or have him give her a week ultimatum.  If she hasn't "figured it out" by then, announce your news.  It's not like she didn't have warning.

megpie6

We are going through the same thing and it sucks so I feel for anyone else going through the same thing. We told DH's parents almost 4 wks ago and his dad said, " well I guess it is up to you" and his mom did not say a SINGLE word. Not one. And she still hasn't. The reacted in a similar way when we told them we were expecting DC #1 but it wasn't nearly as bad as this time. And of course now they love our DS to death, but that actually makes me angry. I feel like if you can't be happy about it now why should that change when the baby is born. Maybe it is all of my hormones but it just makes me so angry. I have been there when people have come up to her and congratulated her on being a grandma again and she won't even say anything back to them!!! My biggest fear is that they will continue to spoil DS but are so upset about us having this new baby that they will not give it the same attention. At least my parents are thrilled about another grandbaby.

carney09

I don't get this.  At all.  None of it makes any sense to me.  I can't see how a mother would HATE who her son chooses to love, unless of course the woman is insane, which none of you seem to be!

 

 

Kanne0729

My DH's family doesn't like me either and I don't like them. They're so ignorant to me. His aunt said that we would be divorced in 5 years. I don't understand why because we were together 6 years before we got married. They always make fun of me because I'm thin and they have not once asked how I am since finding out that I was pregnant. His cousin actually said that I was going to miscarry. Seriously, who says that?! I wouldn't even wish something like that on my worst enemy. His cousin actually started a brawl at our wedding and ruined the whole reception. I haven't talked to them since, we don't even go to any family functions anymore so we won't have to see them.  I said I'm not going until I get an apology, but they said they expect me to apologize because my family kicked them out after she started the fight. She even punched my mom! Everytime we even go to his grandmas she hugs DH and says I never see you anymore and glares at me. Screw her.

jnalfonso@hotmail.com

It has been difficult with my MIL also. I moved from FL (where my family is) to Boston (where my fiance is from) because she agreed she would watch my daughter (also her grand daughter) daily while we worked. She has since come up with excuses for not taking care of my daughter leaving us stranded without child care most of the time.  She tries to be nice to my face, but bad mouth's me and her son to the rest of her family. It's a horrible situation when someone is as two faced as she is.

 I hace since stopped trying to play nice and just say what ever I feel to her. At first, I did not want to be disrespectful to my fiance's mother. At this point, I DO NOT CARE!! (I realize that this woman does not provide for my family, why should I give a damn?)

DelilahGirl2010

It really blows me anyway, knowing that someone could really be angry about bringing a child into the world! What more could a MIL ask for from a DIL, then to have a precious little one to spoil?

My soon to be-MIL really isn't in the picture and hasn't been for about the last 15 years. Which sucks...I say this because its sad that baby won't know Grandma. I know it effects my Honey and this makes me very sad!

 After trying to help the situation a couple times, I've learned that I just need to stop letting others take my energy...meaning,"Who gives a ***?" I have come to the conclusion that no matter what I say or do some people are just real **s**les!

So, you either jump on my wagon and have a great time with me and baby or don't. They are the ones that are going to make the choice and if they choose not to be involved don't let it get to you! That's exactly what the MIL wants...to cause havic for you at this time when all it should be is cotton candy and ice cream cones.

Remember, Son remains son until he gets a wife and daughter remains daughter for ever. You take that however you want!

k8enewlywed

OMG! That is awful!?

GCavvv

That's horrible!

RadicalDreamer143

DelilahGirl2010:

Remember, Son remains son until he gets a wife and daughter remains daughter for ever. You take that however you want!

No offense, but I've always hated this saying. It's like its giving permission for wives to be b!tches to their in-laws, even when it isn't deserved.

murfygirl

You are a better person than me I would have responded with well too bad my kids won't know you LOL Maybe she will come around.

biddybaby

Sounds like a nightmare, even if she isn't your biggest fan she should be mature enough to suck it up for her son. After all her son's DNA makes up the little bundle you are carrying around and that should mean something. Some women are terrible, enough said.

Cryleen09

ok THANK GOD that other people are dealing with crazy MIL's. I have been very open with not liking DH's mother but the only thing I would ever really get into detail with him about her was how crappy she treats me because its not really fair to bad mouth his mother. DH mostly blew it off before so it wasnt worth starting fights but he is FINALLY starting to see what a selfish controlling you-know-what she is. It really pisses me off because my mom LOVES LOVES LOVES DH. She is so sweet to him and my Dad thinks the world of him! I wish he could know what it feels like to have your in-laws be mean to you...well not really because i like his relationship with my parents. The sad part of all of this is that my parents moved to Florida and his parents live ONE STREET OVER!! ugh. Cant wait to see "my mommy"!