anyone else around here not "out" to your parents about IF?

CarrieB.

i just don't feel comfortable talking to them about it. but now i feel guilty because i'm having tests done tomorrow that they are putting me under?anesthesia?for and i feel like i should tell them about that. ugh. i can't ever win about feeling guilty but at the same time i don't want to overly worry them...

XXXXX222

We didn't tell my parents until we were almost 2 years into TTC, when I needed my first surgery.  We needed my mom to come up here and help me during recovery.  In-laws still don't know anything.

sheila1108

Neither set of parents have any idea. I had similar feelings before my hysteroscopy. I felt guilty not telling my mom (we talk every day) but then I figured I didn't want to worry her.

Dr.Loretta

My parents didn't know until my first m/c. DH's mom didn't know until we were 3 years TTC and starting the adoption process.

ttc2

Our parents have no clue. I don't talk to my parents about stuff like that though and MIL just thinks we don't want any and that's ok with me.

gidge

My mom/parents know that we're having trouble and how long we've been trying - they just don't know the dx.  DH's parents haven't been told anything.

SparkyFuentes

I think the fewer people who know the better. ?I think the only people who really honest to God NEED to know are your RE, your significant other, and your best girlfriend. ?If you tell your parents, you're just setting yourself up to get hurt. ?Even if they mean well, the odds are that they'll say something unintentionally hurtful at some point -- so just don't do it. ?Save it for when you just say "I'm pregnant."

madelyn07

My in-laws know. My dad knows that I've had cysts in the past and I told him that I've recently found out it may be difficult for us to conceive but that's all I said. He really doesn't understand any of it.

laure1122

My mom and I are very close.  I told her we were TTC 4 months into it.  So of course I told her about my c/p and all our i/f issues.  She's very good about keeping secrets and hasn't told my dad anything. I kind of wish she would, because he and I are not close and I can't see myself ever talking to him about it.  My in-laws don't know much just that we are trying and obviously no grandkid yet.

NicksChick23

My immediate family knows (mom does my u/s and tells dad, and my sister is my best friend, I tell her everything) ILs know nothing and I'm keeping it that way as long as possible.

georgiagirl1212

I guess I'm in the minority here...my parents and in-laws all know, plus my sister and some of my girlfriends.  I am extremely close to both my parents and in-laws, and frankly, DH and I are paying for treatment OOP and borrowing the money from my FIL.  So, we kind of had to tell him, at the very least, what we needed the cash for.  However, everybody is 100% supportive (my parents went through IF, and my in-laws want grandkids so bad they'd support just about anything).

MAK06

We have not told either set.  I felt guilty when I went for my HSG since my Mom asked what I was up to that day.  If we have to move on to IVF we will consider telling them.  

BigHairQueen

My mom knows, I am sure she has told my dad. My grandma and one of my aunts know. We haven't told the in-laws. I think my FIL knows we are having trouble conceiving but that's all he knows.

JosephineM

My mom knows because I had to ask her some questions about our family history.  The ILs don't know, but they don't ask either.  We're lucky that our parents aren't the bugging us for grandkids type.  It's everyone else around us who get annoying. 

 

lilredj

Both sets know that there are problems, but neither know what it is.  I have only told my sister, and two friends.  I didn't want to stress my mother out more that necessary.  And not comfortable discussing w/ my IL's.   If it continues have a few more months, we will have to tell me!  Both sets are praying for grandkids!

Sarah&royale

We've been ttc for about 1 year now, and finally went to seek some help. ?I had to get a D/C and biospy and knowing it was a outpatient surgery with anesthesia made me feel so guilty I caved and told my mom. ?Who in turned, told her mother, and my 90 year old gossipy grandmother told all her kids! ?So now my mother's side all knows. ?<sigh>

NYC_CT

My ILs have no idea and I want to keep it that way.  My mom knows but I didn't tell her for a long time.  I just didn't want her to worry about me and feel sad for me, especially b/c we live so far away so there is not much she can do for me.  I tell her everything though, so eventually I just caved and told her.  She's been great and really dosn't ask me about it unless I volunteer information.

Mrs.AmandaMqn

My parents know everything but my ILs have no idea. H told them that I have PCOS last year but has not told them we are TTC or that he is undergoing testing for azoospermia.

It bothers me and I want him to tell his parents, which he swears he'll do once we know more.

ABColeslaw

I"m sure that after three years of trying, they know we're going to need assistance getting pregnant, but we haven't told either set of parents that we are ungoing treatment. 

 

I just don't want to have to explain every month what I'm up to and if it doesn't work, I don't want to see thier dissapointment, sadness, and even worse...pity!  

BostonTerrier

Neither mine nor DH's parents know.  It's been more than 2 years now, so I think that if one of them asks, I would tell them.  Neither has even asked!!!  We've been married for over 3 years!!  crazy.  At this point, I'd really like to get it off of my chest.  I didn't even tell them when I WAS pregnant and had a m/c. The reason is that I just don't want them thinking about it every time they see me.  

samk213

My mom and my sister knew we wanted to try as soon as we got married to have children, I told everyone that much.  It's now been over 3 years so I would guess they know we are having trouble.  I told them about my first m/c and then regretted it.  I did not tell them about our ectopic or any treatments.  As far as I know, they think we're just still trying naturally.  I would never tell anyone, especially my mom or sister who are very Catholic about our IVF.  I think people should be allowed to create their family however they want and do it privately, I don't feel guilty about not telling anyone anything, if anything, it has saved my sanity not having to talk about it.