When to stop?
Before and during my relationship with my husband, he fostered four teenage boys. He ended up adopting one and keeps in daily contact with three of them (ages 22, 21, and 19). We are now fostering a 9 month old. One of my DH's nephews, who we absolutely adore and have had stay at our house before, is being "pushed aside" (to put it nicely) by his mom. His mom is pregnant with a new man and doesnt want to care for her son, who is now 6. We are considering bringing him into our home, rather than him being shipped to Connecticut to live with his grandparents who are much too old to deal with a 6 year old.
We just got married on New Year's Eve and brought the foster baby in on April 1. Sometimes it already seems like too much, being that I also work a more than full time job. How do/can we say no? I would hate to see him at that home. I do, however, feel like we cannot take in everyone's children (we are on number 5 now!), but I feel awful at the thought of him living with his grandparents.
Re: When to stop?
Whew, okay. You are making me feel better! Surprisingly, he thinks it will be too much. He is big on service to others and, in the past, tends to take on a lot of other peoples' burdens (hence, the four teenage foster kids as a single man).
We try to serve others as much as possible and, although I love the kid, I do think that it will be too much.
As for work, I wouldnt be able to cut back my hours. My boss has already reminded all of us that Saturdays and Sundays are days that we can work too!
Oh, I completely agree with you! I guess I just wanted an "its okay" not to take him in. I just have to remember that we cant save the entire world!
It's more than OK, it's wise to know your limits.
I've had this discussion, repeatedly, w/ a very loving, giving family member...you know when you're on the airplane and they give you the schpiel about crashing? They tell you that you have to put your own mask on first, before you help everyone else. Because if you don't do the minimum to take care of YOU, you won't be able to help anyone else--in fact, you'll become one of those people who needs help.
So I can't say whether adding another kid would be 'to much' or not. But knowing your limits is important here.
Nicely said. Thanks!