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Infertility
Would I be an egg donor candidate? (warning-ticker)
Hi ladies!
I am looking into becoming an egg donor, but before I get all involved, I wanted to get your opinions on if I would be someone you would use. I have one baby, had two m/c (one late 23 weeks, one blighted ovum where the baby never developed-these were before I had my baby)-no genetic or chromosomal issue in either loss. Pregnancy was easily achieved in all cases. No genetic issues in the family-all four grandparents still living, parents still living. I'll be 28 in Sept. and I have a bachelor's in nursing-worked as a NICU nurse when I was still practicing in the hospital. I'm 5'3, 125, blonde hair brown eyes. I have done a little research, but I just wanted to get perspective from those that have/are using donor eggs. Feel free to be brutally honest, as this will help me make my decision. I would love the opportunity to help someone have a baby if it's a gift that I can give, I'm just not sure if I'm too old, the m/c history would throw you off, etc. Thank you all and best of luck to you in this journey-you will all be wonderful moms.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Would I be an egg donor candidate? (warning-ticker)
Kind of rude yogi, don't you think?
Anyhow, I want to thank you for considering this. It is a very kind decision. First off on paper, the m/c *may* throw some people off a bit, and I am so sorry for your losses. Of course you would have to go through various testing through an RE to be sure the clinic believes you to be someone who is physically a good fit for their donor program. If you pass their standards, and different clinics have different standards, I am sure someone would consider it.
There is not 1 right canidate for all people. When wearching for an egg donor many people have many different ideas of what they may want. I know for myself, health and family health would have been very important to me, had I had to make that decision.
Thanks again for considering donating. It really is a selfless act.
After 7 years trying to concieve, 3 failed IUIs and 2 failed IVFs, my third IVF was a success!
My Christmas baby turned into a turkey bird! Dillon Richard was born at 34 weeks, 5 days on November 28, 2009 after 10 weeks on bedrest for preeclampsia.
<a href="http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v705/arriinthere/PJ/?action=view
I think there are plenty other places to gather information on this topic that don't include a board of women that are having difficulty conceiving. Google being step one, and if she is really serious about it fill out a questionnaire for a local program.
After 7 years trying to concieve, 3 failed IUIs and 2 failed IVFs, my third IVF was a success!
My Christmas baby turned into a turkey bird! Dillon Richard was born at 34 weeks, 5 days on November 28, 2009 after 10 weeks on bedrest for preeclampsia.
<a href="http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v705/arriinthere/PJ/?action=view
To the OP, my question is: What is your opinion of older moms? Be honest.
I don't find this post offensive, either. And at least she warned us that she had a ticker.
This one from the weekend, on the other hand, really pissed me off.
https://community.thenest.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/20075354.aspx
I don't find this offensive at all and as someone using donor sperm I don't find this an inappropriate place to post either.
When looking for a donor we look for good medical history, advanced education preferred and certain physical traits that match DH. Once we have selected a few possibles we look more into their personal essays, audio interviews, etc. As far as the miscarriages go if it was due to egg quality that would concern me but otherwise it wouldn't.
I think it is such a wonderful thing that there are people out there who are willing to give so much of themselves to make others dreams of becoming parents possible and I really commend you for even considering it. Good luck to you and I hope you get more specific feedback from some of the ladies who are using donor eggs.
Me - DX Hashimoto's Disease, Hypothyroid, Rheumatoid Arthritis
DH - DX Azoospermia - Sertoli Cell Syndrome
DS-IUI #1-4 BFN IVF #1 - BFP! It's a boy!!!
sorry Yogi is right and besides, how the hell would we know???
As someone who is using donor eggs, you "could" be a candidate. From what I've learned, only about 10% of the applicants to an agency get accepted. Of those 10%, several will be eliminated by the IVF clinic.
While your miscarriage history might be an issue you won't know until you go through the process. Picking a donor is a very individual choice. What looks like a perfect donor for one couple is wrong for another. One couple may want someone that looks like the wife, the other might decide solely on family history. One couple might only be looking for someone who has already donated, another is willing to take the chance on a first timer.
It is not a decision you should enter into lightly or solely for monetary reasons.
There are significant medical risks you are taking. You could develop OHSS (ovarian hyperstimulation syndrome) which could result in the loss of an ovary, hospitalization, etc. You have a young child at home and will have to undergo daily injections and frequent monitoring. You will need to find child care for these visits since you cannot bring your baby to the RE's office.
You will have to undergo psychological evaluation, genetic screening, STD screening, have to abstain from sex, give yourself shots, etc.
I suggest you go to an agency's website and read about the process their donors go through. Also, just because you get accepted by the agency doesn't mean you will get chosen. It could happen in a month, 6 months, a year, or not at all.
If you do choose to go through with it, those of us that need to take this route cannot thank you enough for your gift. However, it is not a quick money making situation.
Well said, BRSAugust and krissy. BRS has given some really good info for OP.
We have been TTC for nearly 4 years and DE might be our only option for having a child. So...IMO the more people stepping up to donate, the better.
I am really saddened by the fact that some other people on this board did not welcome your question. Did I ever think I would have to use DE? NEVER. But here I am and here is someone who I'm pretty sure meant no ill will, asking a very good question and requesting feedback.
If you continue to get flamed, please feel free to post during the DE checkin on Wednesdays.
I wish you the best of luck and hope that you are able to help out a TTTC couple someday.
FYI - the check-in is on Tuesdays.
As a donor egg recipient and long time poster on this board, I don't find the question inappropriate at all. There are at least 10 posters who are using or who have used donor eggs - where else would one find the info?
Kelli, you can check out my clinic's site re: egg donation. https://www.seattlefertilitycenter.com/treatment/becomeEggDonor.asp
Clinics can be very choosy about who is selected to be a donor. Only about 1% of women who inquire become donors - many drop out during the screening process once they learn about the process.
That said, from the little you've said it sounds like you'd be a good candidate. Having been through IVF with my own eggs 4 times, I can say that the process is rigorous but not awful. I was uncomfortable for a grand total of 4 days each time, the rest was just slightly inconvenient.
Of course, I too hold donors in the highest of regards. I will always be grateful to our donor, and though we will never meet, she will be part of our family forever.
I am a runner, knitter, scientist, DE-IVF veteran, and stage III colon cancer survivor.
As an aside, I am also surprised and offended by the rude responses toward the OP. If you have spent as much time on this board as BRSAugust, Krissy and I have you'd know that there are a lot of us using donor gametes or considering it. To chew up and spit out a legitimate poster with the best of intentions of helping people like us achieve pregnancy - well it seems incredibly short-sighted to me.
I am a runner, knitter, scientist, DE-IVF veteran, and stage III colon cancer survivor.
Yes, well with your total of 2 posts' experience, I can see you are an expert on what is, or is not, reasonable to assume about this board. It's funny to me that the only people getting pissy about the OP are the newbies.
About 5 posts down is a question about "should I use this egg donor." If I was interested in becoming an egg donor and saw that post alone, I would think this is a reasonable place to ask - and it is.
I am a runner, knitter, scientist, DE-IVF veteran, and stage III colon cancer survivor.
Exactly! I also echo the sentiments of juliannat and krissy on this. I think posting this question is very appropriate for this board. Many women here are considering or have used DE's. Thank you for asking our thoughts and sorry you got flamed by some. The decision to become an egg donor is a wonderful gift - thank you for considering it!
I don't know enough about the requirements of becoming a donor, so I am not much help there. However, as someone who is considering using DEs if the need arises, I want to thank you for wanting to do this.
HI, I really don't know anything about egg donation, but I really do think this would be the right place to ask. I think it is great that people consider this. Although I am not in need yet, if it came down to it, I know it would be a hard step and I like to think that the person doing it wasn't just in it for the money. Google isn't going to help since you wanted our opinion. Thanks for asking. I don't think your age would be an issue and I think it's good your grandparents are all alive. It's also cool you work in the NICU. I may think twice about the m/c though. I am sure an RE's office could help.
Thanks for asking and thanks for considering helping those in need.
Jesus... some of you girls are being downright bitches!!!!!
To the OP, this is TOTALLY the right place to ask about being a donor egg, your post was written in a very sensitive way, and you even warned about your ticker, which is exactly the kind of sensitivity we have all asked for. Kudos to you!
I don't know much about donor eggs, particularly in the US as I'm in Canada, but I wanted to thank you and reassure you that you are free to post here as long as you want!
Agreed. There are a number of us who, without someone like the original poster being willing to donate eggs, would never be pregnant.
As for the original question, I do think that, if your records clearly show that your losses were not chromosomal related, you would likely be an acceptable candidate. However, since you asked for honesty, I would have thought twice about selecting you. That's not to say that I wouldn't, but, I would have thought about it.
We were the third donation for my donor and, when we went in for our final meeting before beginning the cycle, we found out that the second couple had an early loss. While I know that 50% of pregnancies are lost early, it did add a little bit of extra stress and worry to me that I wish I didn't have. That said, at no point did we consider backing out and looking for another donor, so, that says something.
Best of luck to you!!
EppHD-- And who is being bitchy now? We can agree to disagree without calling names. Regardless of how much experience I have on a silly message board, I still stand by my opinion that looking for solid facts like what makes a good egg donor has a better source of information than a TTC board. Asking laymen information that you can find easily yourself in other sources is not just lazy, its a bad idea.
Epphd didn't call you bitchy, I did (well, I called a bunch of you bitchy!!) And I stand by it, I would rather have fertile people posting all day long than have someone who has clearly never posted here before come on and try to dictate the terms of who can post where. You call it a silly message board, yet you seem to have some strong opinions of what kind of posts are acceptable!!
The OP is trying to find information on what would be a good candidate for an egg donor. Don't you think that she would want to ask people who are experienced with looking at egg donors??? I'm sure she has some "solid facts" from her research so far, but maybe she just wanted the insight from people who are on the other side of the stirrups.
I get so irritated with people who say "don't post stuff, just google it". When you are looking for feedback and human insight, then obviously that is what the nest is for. If you don't feel like being helpful to her, then don't post anything!!