I think I need counseling.....

mrs.a.butler

seriously....

I do not know how much more of DH's family I can take.  Everything from before seems to have "blown over" (you know, no one has ever said anything about it, it's more of a gone but not forgotten thing), and now this.  Yesterday MIL calls to talk to DH, who was in the attic doing some electrical work.  I tell her that.  We talk and laugh, etc.  DS wakes up and I yell at DH "thanks dear, you woke up C!"  (me and DH do this to eachother alot joking around).  Well MIL promptly gets off the phone with me.  DH calls and talks to MIL this morning and she says how mean I am to him.  WTH??!!  He laughs and says that I was joking but she doesn't think that I was and just keeps going on about how mean I am to him (she used to say this when we first got together...she used to think I abused him because I would jokingly hit his arm when he made a smart alec remark...yeah a 4'11" petite girl beating a 5'9" 160lb man...ok...)  I don't know how much more I can take...I don't know what else to do.  I do not feel welcome by anyone in his family except his grandmothers...I told DH that I am having a hard time dealing with what MIL says and he says, "just ignore it, it doesn't matter".  But I can't help it, it bothers me....

mediadiva

well it sounds like your DH has the right attitude and is on the same page as you, thats really important to a marriage. If she pisses you off then don't talk to her any longer then?necessary. If she's not going to make an effort to get along with you it will effect how much she see's her grandkids I imagine. Just make sure you stay strong and put your foot down and stand your ground.

luvlieK

*sigh* same here, I am apparently crazy )

Temp76535187505890

I can see why it would bother you but you only have a couple options I guess.

1) confront MIL and tell her she's crazy....but we can all pretty well see where that will get you.

2) have hubby confront MIL....no idea how that will be received and it'll probably just be blamed on you anyway

3) ignore it and keep putting on your happy face....but it seems you've tried this and it's starting to near boiling over

4) seriously limit the amount of interaction you have with his family.  Be civil but do not engage in conversation.  Avoid their phone calls, etc....probably the best option in my view although it might just ignite their fire more.

5) sever all ties...probably not gonna happen unless your husband agrees to not see his family and I'm sure you would still like your kids to be able to see their grandparents from time to time.

6) move out of state or country  

You're going to have to pick one avenue and deal with whatever comes your way.  Every option has it's pros and cons and you just have to decide which ones you (and your hubby) are willing to live with.  What do you want out of the relationship? Do you think there is any possible way that you will ever get what you want from them?

Good luck!

ArcticFox

My inlaws have been horrible... for example my MIL wouldn't talk to us when we told her we were having a destination wedding even though we were coming home and doing an at-home-reception.  Anyway my mom was in the hospital and passed away right after our wedding and my MIL pretended not to know my mom died and then started talking to us again, never saying a word to me.  It almost destroyed my marriage, the stuff she did.

Anyway - there are some books that might be helpful - I haven't read them but there are ones like "Toxic Inlaws" and ones about mother-in-laws, since MIL's usually butt heads with their DILs.  Sorry you're going through this