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Eco-Friendly Family
Totally, completely torn. (NBR)
DH was asked to schedule an interview today for a new job - it's next Monday. It would be a huge blessing if he got this job and it would be in an area where he ideally wants to settle down.
The only problem is that it's about 7.5-8 hours from both sets of parents. DH thinks this is great, but I'm torn.
Do you live near or far from your families? What do you think the pros/ cons are of either scenario?
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Re: Totally, completely torn. (NBR)
We lived in London for the past two years. DH's family is in Northern Ireland, mine is entirely in CT. At first I found this really hard, especially when I was pregnant. But then I started to really enjoy it. We had the freedom to live our own lives without any drama of the family and all the nonsense that go on there. It did stink to not have the support you normally get when you live near your family but it wasn't so bad.
Now that we are living in Boston again I have to say that I am finding it hard being so close and involved again. It can be very frustrating. But I do love seeing DS get to know my parents, that is really a blessing. We are still thinking of moving back to Europe, though...
11 months
We currently live 3 hours from my parents and a 2 hour plane ride from IL's. We almost moved to a town that would have been 7-8 hour drive to both sets of parents. We didn't move for other reasons, but that weighed heavily on our minds as well.
Part of it for us is that both our parents still work. So they can come for a weekend, but it isn't like my mom can just come for a month when I have a baby, yk? Which makes it really hard to be 7-8 hours away, because that means you pretty much have to take a vacation day to come visit.
Pros: Parenting without unwanted advice all the time, not worrying about family just "dropping by" and probably more that I'm not thinking of.
Cons: Expensive to travel (and more difficult when you have more than 1 kid and/or have to pay for the kids you have), not being able to go to parties or whatnot, having to cram seeing EVERYONE into a week or so.
That being said, having distance between family works really well for me (as I have a questionable relationship with most of my family) but not so well for DH. We live in CA (temporarily in MD) and his family is in KC. Mine is here in MD. The last 6/7 months have shown me how it's nice to have my family around, but I wouldn't want to be here permanently. It'd be nice to be closer to DH's family since they're close knit and we'd be close enough to see my family cheaply.
Both of us love where we are though, and DH loves his job, so things aren't changing anytime soon. GL!
We've never lived close to either side. It would be nice to be able to see my family more often but we are nine hours away so it's a little difficult to go very often. MIL is in alaska so we only see her once or twice a year when she comes to visit. I wouldn't mind if she lived closer and actually, we've talked about living with her at some point if we move to the Philippines someday. If DH and I moved, I can almost guarantee that she would retire and move as well.
Wifey, I'm praying for you!
Thank you!!
That means a lot...
Thanks to everyone for your experiences too. It really helps to hear the good things about living far away...
We're on the Gulf coast. My mom is on the west coast. MIL is on the east coast.
And those are all good things.
My dad does live in town about a half hour away. he babysits for free when asked, sometimes volunteers for babysitting, usually stops by Tuesday afternoons and stays for dinner, and keeps DD overnight one night a month. He does not give advice. Perfect!
What a good dad!!!