Are any of you the "sole breadwinner"?
Well, DH was laid off last night and his last day of work will be next Friday. I am so not ready to be the sole breadwinner.
Please don't flame me because "men have always had that pressure" yadda, yadda...I know all of that. Right now I'm just freaked out and scared and I need to get it out to someone.
I've always made more money than he did, which was no big deal to either of us, but I don't know how I'm going to handle not having someone to back me up financially. I've done it on my own most of my life, but it's a whole new ballgame with the four of us (I also have a step-son.)
Anyone else dealing with this? Tell me it's not all that bad 
How do you deal with it emotionally? I don't want to lay all of my fears on DH right now because I know he's feeling terrible, too, and I feel like I need to be strong (but I don't feel that way.)
Re: Are any of you the "sole breadwinner"?
like you i have always made more than dh but very early this year he was laid off and its been just me since.
we downsized as much as we could and i have been able to stay on top of all our bills and everything but since we had a lot of cc debt i didnt feel like i was making a dent as far as getting balances down so that was a little stressful. dh finally started working again this month and im crossing my fingers it works out because im about to go on maternity leave soon and we will be screwed if neither of us is bringing anything in for a bit.
it was hard for the both of us while he wasnt working and i could tell he felt really shiity about the whole situation but it was out of our hands and as much as i tried not to, i did vent to him about how i felt really stressed/pressured about making it work on my income alone. somehow we managed.
mostly i talked to my mom about it when i felt like it was too much for me. she just listened and never said anything about dh. she reminded me that i needed to be strong if not for him for the LO i have coming.
you will figure out something that works for you guys and hopefully he is able to find something soon.
good luck. im sure you will pull through just fine
I spent the first 4 years of my marriage as the sole breadwinner while DH finished graduate school. Before DD it was fine and I could have cared less, but I did find it extremely stressful when we got pregnant and then DD arrived. Honestly, my first instinct wasn't to discuss it with DH because I didn't want him to feel guilty about finishing school while I brought home the bacon, but eventually I had to talk to him about it. It wasn't easy, but sharing my stress with him about having all of the financial burdens on my shoulder made our marriage much stronger in the long term. It was hard to learn to talk about money this way with him, but we learned how and we made it work and when DH started working when DD was 2 1/2 he was much better prepared to handle some of the stress that comes with knowing that your paycheque is there to support more than just you.
Good luck!
DH was laid off in Feb, and like the pp pointed out, I am not the sole breadwinner, thanks to unemployment benefits. When those run out, we will be hurting, but so far we have been managing ok. This whole experience of DH getting laid off has changed us for the better. Here are a few examples.
1. Not paying for day-care. Pulled DD out the first week, she stays-at-home with DH. Saving us $500/mo. Also saving us a huge amount in MD visits because DD does not get sick all the time anymore.
2. Time: No more getting DD up for day-care, getting her dressed and packing up and getting ready. Also I don't mind putting in extra hours since DH is home with her and I know she is well taken care of and not sitting there waiting for me to pick her up from DC.
3. Cutting back: DH makes dinner about everynight and he eats at home now instead of going out to lunch. We have saved probably $200-$300 mo just on groceries.
Good luck, there are a lot of people in your situation so don't try to do it alone. I did tell some of my coworkers and surprisingly I found a lot of other people in my office the same situation as we are in. They have been a helpful resource to me as well.
I have nearly always been this in our marriage. But it's never bothered me. I think we saw it coming, given our chosen professions, and so even before we were married we talked about DH staying home once we had kids.
When I was in law school during our first year of marriage, DH was the one working, but since I graduated I have been the one bringing in the bucks. He does work a little freelance but the amount he makes is relatively small so it's more to keep him sane (or make him crazy, depending on the day) than to pay the bills.
I think once you get used the idea mentally you'll be fine, but I can see how it would be an adjustment and kind of scary at first. It is a big responsiblity, in a way. But it's a nice feeling to be providing for your family.