Worst stupid things your husbands have done?

SandratheTerrible

Since I'm pissed at him for spending carelessly right now - LOL....let's share dumbass husband stories

Mine - my birthday, two years ago.  His car had died the day before.  We were engaged.  I had taken the day off to relax on my birthday, and had to go with him and co-sign a loan for a car for him instead.  I was so upset - we were thisclose to having 2 cars paid off.

We got home, and he tells me he'll see me later on.  I was like....whaaaa?  Where are you going?  And he said "Softball game"  ???!!!??!?!!!? I said "uh, it's my birthday" and he said "sorry, I have a responsibility to my team"

We almost didn't get married over that one.  For realz.

CFO

This year my DH was a FAIL for Anniversary AND Birthday gifts. 

I asked for one thing for our Anniversary, for him to have my rings resized.  That was in April.  I still can't wear my wedding rings.  He gave me a gift card to a photographer to have DD's 1 yr pics taken for my Birthday.  I told him I was going to set up an appt...and he said I couldn't - b/c the tenant was mad at him over something.  The gift card was FREE.

No Bday or Anniv. gifts this year. 

punkfiction

dh is deathly afraid of spiders and we have black widows here in texas. he was messing around with the cable access hole thingy in the ground in the front yard... he opened it up and OMG like 5-6 black widows.

so, he said screw that and lit them on fire!!

 

.... and there went my cable and internet. LOL 

when the cable people came out they said "omg it looks like you have enemies!! someone lit your lines on fire!!"

jsugrin

The scene:

     I am 37 weeks pregnant with my first.

    My birthday is 8 days before his

     My birthday falls exactly one week before my scheduled C-Section.

 

The crime:

    So all day I'm waiting for DH to wish me happy birthday and nothing!  That night I'm in tears and he's all apologetic, he thought my birthday was the next day (Saturday) blah. blah blah.  So after a lot of talking he asks for a do-over and we have stuff to do Saturday so I tell him Sunday would be better instead.  So Sunday I wake up and expect some breakfast in bed and the Sunday paper, maybe a fancy dinner.  Again I wait all.day.long and NOTHING.  That night I fall apart and while I'm telling him how pissed I am, he's all confused, "I already told you how sorry I was, what else can I do".  Me- " You idiot you forget it again!  Remember you wanted to make it up and it was supposed to be today!".  DH- Blank stare.

I made it very clear to him that forgetting your very pregnant wife's birthday when it's only 8 days before your own is competely unforgivable and idiotic.

Brewtowngrl

DH didn't believe me when I told him my water broke.  He insisted I wet myself.  45 min later when I finally got him up and was getting dress to go the the hospital he complained that I was interrupting his sleep for no reason and that I couldn't be having the baby because we still had over a month to go and he had too much work to do the next night at his job.

Mrs Manners

Call me at 6:30pm to tell me he's going to the bar to have a few drinks after work with the guys...then show up at 6:30 in the FREAKING MORNING without ever calling again or answering any of my calls or texts. When he walked in I told him he could go sleep in his car "because you don't live here anymore".

Before we were engaged, but after we'd been living together for two years, he and his partner hired a girl that he used to date and sleep with...which meant that the three of them worked side by side together all day (just the three of them in the company)...and he didn't tell me about it.

goodtobethelarkster

Oh, Lord! 

Once waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay back when we were both like 22 and living in different cities he didn't call me on my birthday.  Or send me anything.  Or do anything.  At all.  That night at like 10p his time I called him and was like, "WTF?"  His excuse?  "Well I was up drinking up 11a."  I went apesh!t on him. 

He said he would make it up to me by 'giving me gifts that talk about my feelings since you think I don't do a good job at articulating my emotions.'  The next day he had a cactus delivered to my apartment.  The next day another cactus.  So I called him and was like "WTF?  Are you trying to tell me your love is prickly and requires little water?" and he was like "No.  It means my feelings are enduring since, you know, cacti live a long a time and stuff and flowers die plus you live in a studio so it's not like I can give you trees." 

Um.  Okay.  A week's worth of cactus delivery?  Weirdo.  Sweet weirdo.  But still a weirdo.

SandratheTerrible

Brewtowngrl:

DH didn't believe me when I told him my water broke.  He insisted I wet myself.  45 min later when I finally got him up and was getting dress to go the the hospital he complained that I was interrupting his sleep for no reason and that I couldn't be having the baby because we still had over a month to go and he had too much work to do the next night at his job.

Ooooh!  You reminded me of another one.  My contractions started, and I asked him to grab the watch to time them.  He made himself a bowl of ice cream and went upstairs to call his buddy and eat it.  By the time he came down I was 3.5 minutes apart.  Got to the hospital at 7.5 cm dilated.   Jackass.

jsugrin

Recent stupid thing

   I was gone for a few weeks because my mom had emergency surgery.  When I got home DH had put a bunch of #2's clothes in the dresser with 1's things.  DS #2's things are all in the closet.  When I asked DH why, he said he wanted to see if it would all fit.  Why DH, Why?  So it somehow seemed better in his mind to have an empty closet and have to dig through a jam packed dresser trying to figure out what shirt belongs to what kid. :::sigh::

aforst

It was a few months after we had gotten married. I had just started a new job.  He was in grad school.  He went out downtown (we lived about 20 mins away from downtown) with a friend to celebrate his Econ final being over.  He called me at 5:30 a.m., wasted, wanting me to come get him.  He got seperated from our friend that he was with and couldn't find his car keys (probably a good thing).  I was so pissed. I got up, drove downtown to pick his drunk azz up.  He was sitting on the hood of his car waiting for me.  He got in the car and tried to give me these Colts gloves he had gotten. As soon as we got home, I had to get ready and go to work.  He went to bed.  I still give him shiit for it.

Califlorida

when we first started dating his younger brother came to stay with him for a month.  needless to say, he didn't like me. so he left me a message saying "we need to talk, alone, without my brother around."  basically he wanted to tell me to get out of his brother's life.  so i called dh up and said "uhhh, your brother is psycho" and he goes "well maybe you should talk to him."  i almost broke up with him on the spot.  but it all worked out.  we both talked to him and dh told him in no uncertain terms did his brother come before me anymore.  woo hoo!

ladeebri

punkfiction:

dh is deathly afraid of spiders and we have black widows here in texas. he was messing around with the cable access hole thingy in the ground in the front yard... he opened it up and OMG like 5-6 black widows.

so, he said screw that and lit them on fire!!

 

.... and there went my cable and internet. LOL 

when the cable people came out they said "omg it looks like you have enemies!! someone lit your lines on fire!!"

 

love this one!  LOL!!!!

Dobie_Mama

I was sent from a BPP straight to the hospital for a c/s with DD.  I had eaten at noon and they decided I wasn't "emergency" enough to go directly into the OR so they scheduled me for 10pm.  At 8pm they decided I wasn't "emergency" enough to use their anesthesiologists at 10pm and pushed the c/s back to 8am.  I still wasn't allowed to eat or drink.

DH drank about 59308519085190 Sprites in front of me.  At that time, it seemed like the most cruel thing he'd ever done or could possibly do.   

happilyhis

These are friggin hilarious!

None of my husband's majorly stupid moves are funny. Not even in retrospect. If I relive them to you guys, I will probably file for divorce tomorrow. He doesn't do "cute little stupid" things. Only MAJOR ones. LOL

SandratheTerrible

Dobie_Mama:

I was sent from a BPP straight to the hospital for a c/s with DD.  I had eaten at noon and they decided I wasn't "emergency" enough to go directly into the OR so they scheduled me for 10pm.  At 8pm they decided I wasn't "emergency" enough to use their anesthesiologists at 10pm and pushed the c/s back to 8am.  I still wasn't allowed to eat or drink.

DH drank about 59308519085190 Sprites in front of me.  At that time, it seemed like the most cruel thing he'd ever done or could possibly do.   

Aaaaaaahhhh!  I remember begging for a washcloth to suck on for goodness sake.  Sprites would have pushed me over the top!

ladeebri

I've always had anxiety problems and at one point was put on xanax by my Dr as a reactionary means to my panic attacks.  DH and I were just dating at the time, but he told his mom at his family Christmas GTG.  FMIL starts going off on me (in a very nice/condescending way in front of everyone) about how I am going to end up a drug addict, etc etc bc of the xanax.  I nearly lost it and wanted to just start balling on the spot, but whatever.  She's allowed to have an opinion I didnt make a big deal about it, just told DH to never share any medical info about me with his family.  If I feel like discussing it with them, thats my choice.

FF to January.  I have been off meds since my pregnancy and was continuing BFing.  I was seriously having a hard time with the anxiety thing, so I started seeing a shrink.  DH goes and tells his mom.  The next day I get all these emails about how I shouldnt be seeing a shrink, they dont work, I need to deal with my issues the christian way, etc etc (I still dont know how you deal with anxiety the christian way - Pray  not to be anxious ?)  Im kinda sensitive about the whole thing so this did not help. 

I dont think DH will forget to keep my issues to himself anymore.

tiffanysbride

Our cat has allergies, DH decided he looked like he was in pain...what does he do, give him an Aleve. Doesn't tell me and the next morning the cat is puking. I figure he ate a raisin or something from the baby. He waited almost 2 days to tell me. Off the the e vet for a 2 day stay, tons of tests and drugs to keep his ulcer from bleeding. I could have killed him. 2k later the cat is just fine and my husband is an idiot. He thought b/c the cat takes people Zyrtec that Aleve was okay as well.

MrsTotty

My husband got me a veggie chopper for Valentine's Day one year. 

True story. 

avonbride

My husband was dawdling when my water broke and we needed to leave for the hospital, because he couldn't decide what he was going to wear.

SandratheTerrible

MrsTotty:

My husband got me a veggie chopper for Valentine's Day one year. 

True story. 

My ex boyfriend got me post it notes one year.  That's why he's my ex.  :P

habsoilers

A few years ago DH was in school and we were extremely low on money. At the same time our car was about to die. We absolutely had to have another car because DH was in school in a city 5 hours from where we live. We discussed it and decided that with the only $2000 we had, he would buy a crappy little car and then in another year or so when we had money, we would upgrade to a nicer car.

So, DH comes home from school for the weekend with the new car he bought in the city. It took a while to finally get all the information out of him but I learned that instead of buying a cheap car, he took out a loan and bought a $25 000 car without telling me. That was one helluva day, boy! After that incident, I would refer to the new car as L'il Repo because I kept joking that it was going to be repossessed.

avonbride

Oh yeah then he ate an ENTIRE breakfast in front of me in the L&D room. When I could have nothing. And he's eating French toast 10 feet away.

ABMcKinney

MrsTotty:

My husband got me a veggie chopper for Valentine's Day one year. 

True story. 

I wonder if it was the same year I got a video game??? (I do not play video games. Ever. He wanted it for himself.)

ladeebri

ABMcKinney:

MrsTotty:

My husband got me a veggie chopper for Valentine's Day one year. 

True story. 

I wonder if it was the same year I got a video game??? (I do not play video games. Ever. He wanted it for himself.)

The first year DH and I were dating he got my mom and I coordinating lamps for Christmas!  One had a little girl with a dog statue (mine) and my moms had a little flower and a humming bird statue. 

That Valenties day he got me a ring and my mom said - "Well at least its not another LAMP!" 

KhloesMom

avonbride:

Oh yeah then he ate an ENTIRE breakfast in front of me in the L&D room. When I could have nothing. And he's eating French toast 10 feet away.

THIS. Replace the french toast with freshly procured Dunkin Donuts coffee and a bagel breakfast sandwich. And I had been in labor for almost 20 hours. My nurse warned him. He was lucky I was stuck in the bed with the epi.

Earlier the prior day....I was in labor, nothing hardcore yet and he decided that he needed to go on a wild goose chase for a cable that he needed to finish building a computer he was assembling. Gave me the choice to stay home (um, hell no) or go with him. About 8 stores, a trip to the mall and 3 hours later, my contrax were 4 to 5 mins apart (started at 10 mins when we left) and we go home, to get him dinner. No cable (I kept telling him the entire time he wasn't finding it anyways). He attempts to cook himself Mac & Cheese and the entire box of Mac goes flying across the kitchen as his nervous arse tries to open it.

I was picking up Mac for months. And had to drive into Cambridge to go to Micro Center with a newborn for the SATA power cable. Nerd. 

KittenGator

Nothing comes to mind, DH does has a ridiculous amount of common sense (you see that, DH? I admitted it) but I would love to read this later )

futrkingsley

Wow, I am shocked some of these men lived to get married and have children.  Eating in front of a laboring woman who is not allowed to eat is a serious sin and can get you maimed.  My BFF took DH out to eat while I was laboring in order to save his life.  LOL.

I can't think of any really good stupid stories right now but I'll keep thinking about it.

jamie5315

SandratheTerrible:

Dobie_Mama:

I was sent from a BPP straight to the hospital for a c/s with DD.? I had eaten at noon and they decided I wasn't "emergency" enough to go directly into the OR so they scheduled me for 10pm.? At 8pm they decided I wasn't "emergency" enough to use their anesthesiologists at 10pm and pushed the c/s back to 8am.? I still wasn't allowed to eat or drink.

DH drank about 59308519085190 Sprites in front of me.? At that time, it seemed like the most cruel thing he'd ever done or could possibly do. ??

Aaaaaaahhhh!? I remember begging for a washcloth to suck on for goodness sake.? Sprites would have pushed me over the top!

?

My DH had my best friend bring him Chick Fil A while I was in full blown labor. Then he ate it in front of me. The other stupid things he's done are not laughable. ?