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Parenting after a Loss
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Gemini

pinkwedding05pinkwedding05
in Parenting after a Loss

Don't worry about it!  I think things are gradually getting better.  She was only up 3 times last night.  When I paged you the other day I really didn't understand that it can take several weeks to see the full results.  I figured we were doing it wrong since it wasn't fixed in 3 nights like it is with CIO.

I don't follow TSL fully about night feedings, because I believe Annie is truly hungry.  She's having trouble eating during the day because she's so interested in everything else going on, and I think she's trying to make up for it at night. 

I just can't stand there when A is really crying.  I do try and soothe her with just patting and stuff, but she can get really worked up.  If I see she's getting too upset I pick her up and most of the time she needed to burp, so I'm glad that I'm not too much of a stickler or she would be laying there in pain while I'm holding my ground.  I figure that I've gleaned what I can from TSL and I'm kind of doing a piece-meal of it and No Cry Sleep Solution.  It works for us.

How's Lilly doing?     

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Re: Gemini

  • GeminiKMP-CGeminiKMP-C

    I agree with everything you said.  Lilly is the same way when it comes to "soothing" her in the middle of the night.  I finally was able to do this for the first time 2 nights ago-- up until now standing there "shh'ing" her and rubbing her forehead only made her more upset.  She ended up going back to sleep, but woke up again a few hours later anyway. 

    It's frustrating to not get results relatively quickly.  And in the middle of the night you really don't have the clarity and motivation to think straight like you do (sort of!) during the day.  We are guilty of giving her a bottle if she wakes up in the middle of the night even though we know she can make it through the night without eating.  But it takes 10 minutes from the time we hear her on the monitor to the time we're back in bed vs. the hour it would probably take to sooth her, fight the screaming, get frustrated and worked up and probably end up giving her a bottle anyway!  Maybe I'm wrong-- I think we're too scared to find out!

    I'm remembering those 4 weeks of gradual improvement and I remember cluster feeding making a huge difference.  She goes to bed at 6:45 and we made sure she was done with naps at least 2 hours before that and during those 2 hours we gave her 3 feedings (including the bedtime bottle).  It filled her up and helped her stay asleep much longer than before we started cluster feeding.  Have you tried this?  If you think Annie is hungry when she's waking up, maybe upping her feedings right before bed would make a big difference. 

     

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  • pinkwedding05pinkwedding05

    She used to demand that I cluster feed her when she was itty bitty, and I think it kind of wore me out.  Then she stopped fussing in the evenings and I just started feeding her before bed.  You can bet that we cluster fed her tonight ;)  She has reflux so we try not to feed her too much at one time, but I think we packed her pretty full.  We'll see.

    She was waking up 8-10 times a night and since I was doing the nights by myself, I ended up feeding her every time Embarrassed.  Now if she wakes up before its really time for her to eat again, DH goes in to try and soothe her first.  It works most of the time.  I'm just too weak and tired to hold her off.

    I don't blame you for giving her bottles in the night.  I'm actually getting to the place where I'm accepting the night wakings and just trying to make them as quick and painless as possible.  If I feed her we can be back in bed in 10 mins.  This won't last forever ;)

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  • GeminiKMP-CGeminiKMP-C

    We deal with reflux too:(  We don't cluster feed any more, btw, but when we were her normal daytime bottles were 4oz, so the 3 bottles that were part of the cluster feedings were like 4oz, 3oz, and 2oz.  We always put 3oz in the last bottle, but she never finished it.  That way she filled up slowly and it didn't seem to cause any reflux problems.  She STTN from about 10 weeks until 4 months.   And then teething and rolling started.  And here we are. 

    You're right.  It won't last forever!  DH and I finally have a system where he does everything nighttime, although now I'm the first line of defense-- I go in to calm and soothe before he attempts a bottle.

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