Working Moms

2nd baby poll: tougher to work or sah while pg?

My dh and I want another child, but don't want to jump in that direction until we've decided whether or not I can sah.  I'd be high risk due to a number of issues, and I'm wondering whether it would be more physically taxing to be at work while pg or be home full time with a toddler (almost 2) while pg.  What do you think?  (Note, I have a desk job with a long commute).

Re: 2nd baby poll: tougher to work or sah while pg?

  • Tougher to work, hands down.

    I taught junior high up until the day I delivered my first son. Waking up at 5:30am after battling pregnancy-induced insomnia was the worst. It was also more of a challenge to hold my temper with my wayward students when I was so physically uncomfortable.

    By the time I was pregnant again, I was a SAHM. Yes, I had a 2-year-old to care for, but I was able to sleep a few hours later each morning and nap during the day if needed. Plus, I could get off my feet and relax whenever I wanted.

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  • I think they are both very hard.  There is definitely a degree of exhaustion that you don't have when you are home b/c you can nap and sleep a little later.  And maybe sit on the couch for a bit when DC is watching a little tv or playing with toys.  Working, especially with the long commute, means not much down time and no naps, getting up earlier and staying up later because you have a lot more to do when you get home.  I went to bed at 8 pm when I was pg the first time.  The second time i couldn't get to bed until at least 10 any night.  But at the same time, when I was exhausted in the first tri and when I was so big in the third tri, I couldn't imagine having to keep a 2 year old entertained all day. 
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  • Depends on the job... I work from home right now and weekdays are way easier than weekends. Sitting at a desk all day is easier than trying to entertain DD, and I can even take a nap if I need to. I'm traveling on business this week so daytime naps aren't an option, and it's still easier than weekends at home.

    Also, I feel awful when DD is home and I'm feeling too tired/nauseous to play with her. DH and I were both exhausted this past Saturday (he's not pregnant, just was out drinking with his friends until 3 AM Indifferent) and we finally dragged ourselves off the couch to run some errands. On the way home, we passed the pool, and DD asked hopefully, "Go swimming?" I felt really bad that we were both too wiped out to go.

    Mommy to DD1 (June 2007), DS (January 2010), DD2 (July 2012), and The Next One (EDD 3/31/2015)

  • dpdwdpdw member
    imageflyer23:

    Depends on the job... I work from home right now and weekdays are way easier than weekends. Sitting at a desk all day is easier than trying to entertain DD, and I can even take a nap if I need to. I'm traveling on business this week so daytime naps aren't an option, and it's still easier than weekends at home.

    Also, I feel awful when DD is home and I'm feeling too tired/nauseous to play with her. DH and I were both exhausted this past Saturday (he's not pregnant, just was out drinking with his friends until 3 AM Indifferent) and we finally dragged ourselves off the couch to run some errands. On the way home, we passed the pool, and DD asked hopefully, "Go swimming?" I felt really bad that we were both too wiped out to go.

    This exactly.

  • dpdwdpdw member
    imageflyer23:

    Depends on the job... I work from home right now and weekdays are way easier than weekends. Sitting at a desk all day is easier than trying to entertain DD, and I can even take a nap if I need to. I'm traveling on business this week so daytime naps aren't an option, and it's still easier than weekends at home.

    Also, I feel awful when DD is home and I'm feeling too tired/nauseous to play with her. DH and I were both exhausted this past Saturday (he's not pregnant, just was out drinking with his friends until 3 AM Indifferent) and we finally dragged ourselves off the couch to run some errands. On the way home, we passed the pool, and DD asked hopefully, "Go swimming?" I felt really bad that we were both too wiped out to go.

    This exactly.

  • I'd say easier to work for me. Like pp said, the weekends are exhausting for me (but fun of course) and the weekdays give me a chance to catch my breath! I just sit here all day, so its not physically taxing like it is to be playing with DD all day - she loves to be picked up and I have to get down on the floor, etc. Working is nice :-)
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  • I would say tougher to SAH.  I worked all through my 2nd PG up to the day before I delivered and weekends at home with my DD wore. Me. Out.  I have a desk job too, and coming to work was actually sort of structured and a chance to rest.  A coworker probably understands when you might need to take a moment to rest, shut your door, not be bugged, but trust me, a toddler does not.
  • for me it was tougher to be at home with a toddler than work - even though my job has me on my feet and driving a lot - trying to entertain DS1 all day long was physically and mentally challenging when i was pg (and still is).

    i say - stay at work- you'll also be making money, too.

  • I work three days so I think I have a good sense of both. I think it depends on your child and type of job but for me being at work is MUCH easier than being at home. It probably helps that I have a really flexible workplace and can nap there if I need to. But it's much less exhausting in general for me to work.

    Also, for me, the 2nd pregnancy in general has been MUCH harder, just fyi.

  • Working when PG with #2 wasn't as easy as it was with #1.  I didn't get to rest as much as I did the 1st time around b/c I had another child at home.  But, I think it would have been harder to be at home with #1 while PG.  Going to work was relaxing compared to being at home with him at that age, especially with a baby on board.
  • I work p/t. DD is 2 and I am 7mo pg. But I'm not particularly high risk either.

    My job is not stressful and the commute isn't bad. I do think that the stress level of your job would make a HUGE difference in the answer to this queistion.

    For me, it is harder to be home with DD. Yes, I can take a nap with her in the afternoon... if she takes a nap. But honestly, on days that I work and DD is in daycare, I don't NEED a nap. If DD doesn't take a nap, it's a super hard day. But in order to get her to take a nap, I generally have to do something physically exhausting - trip to the zoo, park, pool, etc, and then I'm worn out as well. Being trapped in the house all day is my worst nightmare.

    - Jena
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