Infertility

Thinking of Bailing on Baby Shower - Really Bad?

I have a friend's baby shower this Sun.  I RSVPed yes about 2 weeks ago, but I am on baby overload - my friend gave birth last Fri., I had a baby shower on Sat. which meant I couldn't join DH in going to the beach, DH's cousin called us Sat. to tell us she was KU (got married after us), and then the shower this Sunday.  It has obviously not been easy emotionally. 

Do you think it's really bad if I bail?  My MIL is coming from OOT (true story) and I thought I'd just write and say that I got weekends mixed up and I apologize...

Also, it's at a restaurant and if it is anything like her bridal shower, there will be upwards of 60 people there, so I feel like I wouldn't be missed too much.

TTC in 2008. Stage II/III endo, Hashimotos hypothyroid, low morph (3%).
2 cycles Clomid/Ovidrel/TI/Crinone=BFN.
IUI #1 - 4 Follistim/Ovidrel/IUI/Crinone = BFN.
IVF #1 - Antagonist w/ ICSI 4/10. 17 retrieved, 5DT of 2, BFN :(
IVF #2 - Long Lupron w/ ICSI 6/10. 15 retrieved, 3DT of 2, BFFN!!
Lap 7/21/10
IVF #3 - Clomid/Antagonist w/ ICSI 10/10. 14 retreived, 3DT of 3, BFP 10/20 but m/c. No HB 11/15/10 - D&C 11/17/10.
FET - 2 blasts, 1 survived the thaw. Transfer 2/19. Beta #1 3/1 375, Beta #2 3/3 885, Beta #3 3/8 4261, Beta #4 3/11 9005. U/S 3/8 1 sac 1 yolk, U/S 3/16 1 heartbeat 114bpm!

 

James born Oct. 24th 2011 via c-section at 38 weeks!

Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

Surprise BFP - Jack born April 28, 2013 via VBAC after PTL at 33 1/2 weeks!

Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

Re: Thinking of Bailing on Baby Shower - Really Bad?

  • SKIP IT! Do what is best for YOU.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • Personally I think it is fine, just drop her an email or give her a call before the shower telling her. I bailed on a BS last minute because it was the day after a BFN. I needed to do what was best for me at the time.
    A lot of years and a million tears finally led me to you.
    After 7 years trying to concieve, 3 failed IUIs and 2 failed IVFs, my third IVF was a success!
    My Christmas baby turned into a turkey bird! Dillon Richard was born at 34 weeks, 5 days on November 28, 2009 after 10 weeks on bedrest for preeclampsia.
    <a href="http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v705/arriinthere/PJ/?action=view
  • Loading the player...
  • If you think you need to skip it, then skip it.  Sometimes you just need to take a break from all the baby insanity and it sounds like you've had your fill lately.  If you let her know with a nice note and still send your gift, I'm sure she won't even think twice abou it.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • I think it is totally fine if you decide not to go to the baby shower - since you already RSVP that you were coming - I would send a gift but there is not need for you to be there.  There has been a few times when I bailed on baby showers - sometimes it is just too much and there is nothing wrong with that.

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • Wow, you ARE on baby overload.  I would skip it and just send her a gift.  60 people is a lot of people to be obsessing over a baby.  That would be hard IMO.  Plus, the excuse is good.
  • send a gift and skip it. I agree with everyone else, do what's best for you.
    After 5 years of TTC, 3 IUIs, 5 IVFs, 2 FETs, multiple losses and an adoption that wasn
  • I am going to be in the minority opinion, I think you should still go.   It is a big pet peeve of mine when people bail on plans they already committed to.  You already knew ahead of time about the baby shower you just attended and, unless the baby came early, you probably also had a good inkling of when the baby would be born.  Honestly, I think this is part of the reason infertiles feel so lonely, they withdraw from society.  If you think this friend will be around when it is time for your baby, I think you need to be around for hers.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker


    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Take care of YOU FIRST!!!  Skip it and don't worry about it.  Though, sometimes spending time with the MIL can be more stressful...Angel
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • imagespring_time:
    I am going to be in the minority opinion, I think you should still go.   It is a big pet peeve of mine when people bail on plans they already committed to.  You already knew ahead of time about the baby shower you just attended and, unless the baby came early, you probably also had a good inkling of when the baby would be born.  Honestly, I think this is part of the reason infertiles feel so lonely, they withdraw from society.  If you think this friend will be around when it is time for your baby, I think you need to be around for hers.

    Point taken - but at this point I already bailed:( 

    TTC in 2008. Stage II/III endo, Hashimotos hypothyroid, low morph (3%).
    2 cycles Clomid/Ovidrel/TI/Crinone=BFN.
    IUI #1 - 4 Follistim/Ovidrel/IUI/Crinone = BFN.
    IVF #1 - Antagonist w/ ICSI 4/10. 17 retrieved, 5DT of 2, BFN :(
    IVF #2 - Long Lupron w/ ICSI 6/10. 15 retrieved, 3DT of 2, BFFN!!
    Lap 7/21/10
    IVF #3 - Clomid/Antagonist w/ ICSI 10/10. 14 retreived, 3DT of 3, BFP 10/20 but m/c. No HB 11/15/10 - D&C 11/17/10.
    FET - 2 blasts, 1 survived the thaw. Transfer 2/19. Beta #1 3/1 375, Beta #2 3/3 885, Beta #3 3/8 4261, Beta #4 3/11 9005. U/S 3/8 1 sac 1 yolk, U/S 3/16 1 heartbeat 114bpm!

     

    James born Oct. 24th 2011 via c-section at 38 weeks!

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Surprise BFP - Jack born April 28, 2013 via VBAC after PTL at 33 1/2 weeks!

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • imagepatchen30:

    imagespring_time:
    I am going to be in the minority opinion, I think you should still go.   It is a big pet peeve of mine when people bail on plans they already committed to.  You already knew ahead of time about the baby shower you just attended and, unless the baby came early, you probably also had a good inkling of when the baby would be born.  Honestly, I think this is part of the reason infertiles feel so lonely, they withdraw from society.  If you think this friend will be around when it is time for your baby, I think you need to be around for hers.

    Point taken - but at this point I already bailed:( 

    I think it's totally fine that you bailed. It may be true that you knew about it, but you definitly sound overwhelmed with baby stuff lately, and you need to take care of yourself and keep your sanity. It might be different if you were planning this shower or something, but if you were one of many invited guests, don't give it another thought.

  • Remember to take care of you! If that's what will make you feel better I say skip it!
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"