Working Moms

The grass is always greener...

It's funny... i just jumped over to the SAHM board to see what those ladies discuss. I imagined all the posts would be about how much fun they had at the park, or the beach or mommy & me classes, but surprise - the 1st few posts were women looking to work from home, women feeling lonely as their kids get older, women looking for "time fillers" to do with their babies, etc... it was almost as if they were unhappy... or complaining about their baby-filled lives! then i read some of the posts here today of how many of us are feeling awful about how little time we get with our kiddos each day.

i guess no matter what we choose (staying at home or going to work), there will always be nagging doubts about our choices. i know many SAHMs who wonder if they'd be better moms if they were working... and i know many working moms who wonder just the reverse. where's the happy medium? that's all i want, really. a happy freakin' medium!
 

 

Re: The grass is always greener...

  • CA2006CA2006 member
    I think that happy medium is working part-time.  Something I don't have the luxury of doing at this point, but if I did, I woudl take it in a second!
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  • I've been a SAHM for over 6 months now and I can honestly tell you that I was a much better mom when I was working...which is why I am going back to work next week.  :)  I love my daughter more than you can imagine but I was much better at giving her all of my attention when I missed her all day and wanted to shower her with affection when I was with her.  Now it's just the two of us for 12 hours a day.  Even with playgroups and everything else we're involved in it's the same as all relationships...we need our space.  Don't get me wrong...I'm going to miss her like crazy and I'm sure there will be days when I wish I were home again but like I said...I think I was a much better (and happier) mom when I was working. 
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  • No doubt here. I am happy to be a working mom. There are lots of us!
  • Even though I wish I had more time with my kiddo, I have absolutely no doubt that being a working mom is right for me, dh, and ds.  Nothing is perfect, of course, but I don't regret that I work, at all.
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  • Not for me - my life ain't perfect but the grass is green (: 
  • I think I found my happy medium. I work from home, but only at night. I spend all day with DD and I'm thrilled with it. She was in daycare for 8 months when I worked full time and it ripped my heart out. I just wasn't cut out to be a daycare mom.

     

  • Whenever I'm having a bad workday I call my SAHM friend with 3 under 5. That usually helps. Of course I call her when I'm pumping so it helps remind her that while her days are insane she doesn't have to strap herself to a machine. It's a win-win and we get a 10 minute catch up break! :)
  • I agree. I think there are trade off to the choices we make and we'll never feel 100% thrilled with our choice 24/7.
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  • I don't think it's an issue of envy (the grass being greener on the other side), but simply that there is no utopian profession. Whether you're a full-time SAHM, a full-time WOTHM, or you possess the highly sought after PT gig, your situation will have pros and cons.

    Just a note- last month I posted a clicky poll to see what everyone's ideal schedule was. The overwhelming majority said they'd prefer to work PT a couple days per week.

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  • I'm so glad you posted this, but it is SO right. I have to keep reminding myself of that. I took a day off the other day just to play SAHM and I remembered that staying at home is harder than any job I've ever worked! You NEVER get a break.
  • JLSBWGJLSBWG member
    I work four days a week and it is the perfect balance for me.  I couldn't be a stay at home mom, it's just not for me. 
  • Happy Med would be working part-time.  I know my friends who even work 4 days a week feel a little better.  Granted, I am a happy FT working mom but yes, I would jump at the chance to go down to 3 or 4 days a week and get that extra day or 2 with the girls.  Granted, my girls love school and they are learning so much and doing way more than I would be doing with them - I am so not the stay at home mom and I would end up scheduling us for so many classes and play dates since I go nuts just being at home.  I was out and about so much on both of my maternity leaves it was crazy - my poor girls are going to be just like me since I always have them on the go on the weekends.
    Jenni Mom to DD#1 - 6-16-06 DD#2 - 3-13-08 
  • I think you just need to make the best of whatever situation you are in and not look over the fence at everyone else grass so much. ;)  

  • imageCA2006:
    I think that happy medium is working part-time.  Something I don't have the luxury of doing at this point, but if I did, I woudl take it in a second!

    That wasn't the case for me, I guess it depends on the job though.  Anyway, I think that both "jobs" are hard.  Being a SAHM and a WOHM are probably the toughest jobs anyone can do.  We're all going to have good and bad days. 

  • I am so happy I work part time....two twelve hour shifts a week. It seems like a great balance; I make plenty of money to contribute to the household income, yet I can be home with my boys Mon-Fri. It has been nice this summer to do all our traveling Sun-Thursday when things are less crowded!

     

  • I would love to work part time!
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