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Parenting after a Loss
Update
Things are much better. DH got off the ship today for a few hours and we walked around Helsinki. We fell in love with the city. It was great for DH to be off the ship. He is stressed about work; I guess I am being selfish sometimes. He never said that to me, but I often call him selfish and don't always thing about the pressure he is under here. I think your posts are correct when they mention denial. It is probably easier for him to swallow than not being there for his family.
DH is Greek and wants to speak very loudly when he talks especially when he is "passionate" about something. This frightens me because my family avoids communication in general let alone yelling. DH angrily pulled off his shirt today and the buttons popped off. I guess he is frustrated. He is worried about his mom going through chemo, Yianni, and my mental health. Looking back, it is quite funny. He was so Tarzan. (He is reading this over my shoulder laughing while he gets ready for the table he has to host tonight. At least we can laugh at ourselves. He also made me write why he is frustrated. Hmmm...we are communicating).
We do need to learn how to communicate. We can work on this after he signs off the ship. We had a nice chat earlier, and I feel better.
On a weird note, Yianni has started screaming. He is very demanding and quite a character. He started the screaming before he heard DH talking loudly, but it is a weird thing for him to do. I guess his personality is really coming out. Any ideas on how to correct this behavior? Do I ignore it?
Y is refluxing out of his nose, but I hope he gets better. If not, we'll handle it.
Thank you for being here for me always. I cannot explain the comfort I feel with our board. I think I would have gone insane without it. 
BIG HUGS!
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Update
I'm glad you guys are feeling better today! It sounds like your DH has a lot on his plate too. I hope life settles down for you guys soon.
Poor little Yianni - reflux sucks!!!!
Hugs to you!
I'm glad things are better today.
Maybe you could tell Y to use his inside voice?
I'm glad to hear you and you DH are communicating. Tell him there is no back seat bumping though! I think it's funny when my DH tries to tell me what to type and I tell him this is my forum and I don't tell him what to type on his boards!!
FWIW, I think your DH made a good clarification!
And I think the screaming is just a stage. He's figuring out the level of noise he can make - fun, right!
I like the inside voice comment!
men...can't live with them, can't live without them (most of the time anyway). i'm glad that things are better and most importantly that you are communicating. i think parenting takes a lot of adjusting to do it well in a partnership. it's a constant state of adjustment when you are togehter all the time, and i imagine even more so when you are apart for extended periods. hopefully the time together coming up will help you to work as a team for y's sake and will help you to feel less like you've got to do it all on your own. hope y is feeling better soon.
Very well put!
I think you guys are doing well given all you are dealing with. I hope you have a more peaceful, normal routine in the future that will help bring some balance.
My DH can get very vocal when he's upset too. I'm really trying to remind him that he needs to watch his behavior around DS because they learn through imitation. The worst is that DH gets mad and bangs his head on the wall. Guess who just started doing that? Really scary when you realize what they pick up.
I hope the rest of your trip is great!
Hmm..interesting about Yianni screaming. Is he screaming as if in pain, or is he just experimenting with his voice or pitch? Hope recently started shrieking,. but its clear that she is just exploring her voice range. She thinks its hilarious, especially because when she does it we all freeze and stare at her. In fact, we are now trying very hard to NOT react so she doesn't think its an acceptable way to get our attention. :-)
When does Yianni scream? Is it in play, or is he trying to get attention or what?
I am glad that you and your dh are trying to communicate! It has to be very hard on both of you... him only hearing from you how hard it is, but not really seeing the day-to-day and you, finally having a partner in this parenting business and things aren't what you imagined.... or what he imagined either....
Umm... the screaming. well, it just sucks. If he's screaming b/c he found his voice and is experimenting... well, we ignore that behavior. It seems to get better... but leads to another behavior that we ignore... I just old my dh yesterday that I want the screaming phase back over the spitting phase. no fun.
ahhh... Helsinki! I am uber jealous. You are doing the run that my dh and I did for our Honeymoon. It was so nice, romantic and fun. We walked all around the town of Helsinki... had some beer, had some pastries...stayed far away from the fresh fish market (scary!)...