- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
3rd Trimester
Hey Irys
Something else I want you to ponder in a quiet moment.
Think about the words DH used to make you feel bad in the ?last few weeks. You were vilified and told that you were being crazy among other things.
You weren't. You were right on the money.
While this is not something to celebrate being right about - I want you to remember that you weren't crazy, psychotic, obsessed etc.
I also want you to know that while you are forbidden to contact this woman, if it were my friend that was being cheated on, I would ask for her name and send her emails that simply said SHAME in support of my friend.?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Hey Irys
Dead on!
I agree! I know that he is the really a$$hole and the one she should be focused on, Dont get me wrong....But this woman is true trash. What kind of rotten b!tch would do that to another PREGNANT woman? What goes around comes around...
I'll add to this post instead of starting a new one....
Irys....I'm going through something similar. H hasn't "officially" cheated yet - if you define cheating as sex with someone else. But, there was some shady crap going on. My friend believed me because her H ran around on her. My mother thought I was being overbearing and "irrational".
I found what I needed to find by manipulating some technology and the loser still denies it and my idiot mother still believes him, even though anyone with more than 2 brain cells knows he's a lying slime.
So, I didn't see the background to all of this, but reading this post about how you were made to feel like the bad guy, the crazy wife, etc., struck me because I am going through this right now. I KNOW I'm right. You KNOW you were right.
Like the pp said, it would be nice if we were crazy and irrational (that, BTW, is my mother's favorite word to describe me), but women are very rarely wrong when it comes to this kind of thing.
PM me if you want to talk (I just learned how to use PMs....I discovered I had a bunch from a while back about some things I said about my H here when I was in 3rd tri....and it's gotten so much worse since then).
You're not alone.....when I caught H, him and my mother actually tried to commit me to a psych ward because they thought I was being so "irrational". She's still on his side, so I'm happy I have my friends with functioning brains who are on my side.
You have plenty of people on your side here.
To add-
The moment my ex-fiance admitted that he had cheated on me was one of the most freeing and beautiful moments of my ENTIRE life.
You have been given the most exhilarating and amazing opportunity- the chance to start over and truly manifest the life and love that you deserve.
I say this because while it may feel like an hour of darkness, the reality is, you've been blessed with the light of vindication and expiration- the end of something that WASN'T RIGHT FOR YOU.
Love and companionship and friendship and everything he HASN'T given you, is what's in store for you...
I'm just sayin', because it happened to ME. After you step through and out of this mess, you will be stronger, more confident, and more at peace with yourself than ever before.
And true TRUE love will be waiting right around the corner.
*butts in*
Red's right, Irys. Think about all the times he made you into the bad guy.
Think about him saying, "It's always something with you."
Burns me up. I feel for you.
And yes, I agree with pp's, this woman is garbage. Sleeping with a married man with a pregnant wife = HUGE karmic b*tch slap coming your way.
This is my story too. It took me seven years to find my true love but it was worth it.?
Butting in again to say that I discovered my H's "activities" (not sex, but contacting other women through sites like LavaLife and MySpace) after I had my 3rd. Before that, he started acting like an ASS. Out of the blue, he turned into a totally different person that I didn't like.
I kept him out of the delivery room. I hired a doula. If you don't want him there - and I wouldn't blame you - you need to understand that YOU are the patient and he doesn't have any right to be in that room. My H said he'd be there no matter what I said....really? My OB informed hospital security he was not to be let in the birthing center. I told him I'd have no problems seeing him led off in handcuffs. He got the point and didn't come to the hospital until I called him a few hours after she was born to have him bring my older girls to see me.
If you don't want him there, I would recommend hiring a doula to be with you. Mine still comes to visit me, knowing everything I'm going through. We formed a lifelong bond and I didn't have to sit there, in labor, and stare at someone who caused me stress. I didn't miss him at all and had a fun labor with just the girls (me, my OB, my nurse, and my doula).
I know it's hard to process all of these other things, but I know, for me, it was something that felt important to me. I couldn't imagine being in labor and having to have this person in my room who caused me grief.
Looking back, him being an ass and treating me like crap was the precursor to him contacting other women....which, if he wasn't busted, likely would have led to more.
I also felt this strange sense of "haha" when I caught him. I laughed over it because it was just the cherry on the sundae. He still hasn't admitted it - I told him to let's skip a few steps and move to where he admits it and blames me. Sounds like you already got to that stage. My H is holding on to the lie a little longer, which is annoying.
But, you have to do what's best for you. If that means he's not in that room during delivery, so be it.
Well said and very encouraging. Take this to heart.
This is great! Just know you were right, he was a jack@ss making you feel like it was all in your head. Karma is a b*tch.
Oh no! ?I had to scroll back and see what happened and I am so sorry. ?No one should have to go through this pregnant, or not.
I hope you heed these ladies advice. ?I have been with a cheater and stayed for a while and it was the worst mistake of my life. ?It may seem dark now, but you are strong and can do this. ?It feels amazing to be with someone who I can trust fully and the wait was worth it.?
I really hope you don't feel at fault or responsible in some way for this, Irys. SO WHAT if you weren't having sex? My poor fiance has seen minimal action since month 3 as I have zero sex drive...but as he said "I'm not a boy, I'm a man. I can manage a few months without it."
He makes a good point. He's a man. NOT a boy. Your husband has not done enough growing up. Not only because he did go out and do this incredibly despicable thing, but tried to make you feel like some pyscho *** for suspecting something. You're not just his wife but the mother of his child!!!
I feel so passionately about your situation!! I really hope you can find a way to be happy with yourself and with the new role as a mother with or without him.
No one deserves to be treated that way and karma will come around to both of them. Remember that you are a good person and that the right guy is out there for you. He's not worthy of you and is an immature A$$ - cut him to the curb and hope the door hits him on the way out.
How dare he try to make you feel responsible for his weak character and immaturity!