How Do You Keep Your Hopes Up?

RavenWolf

I am 21 weeks with borderline high blood pressure and piting edema on my ankles. So far no protein is present, but my doctor is worried. She has me monitoring my blood pressure and I am allowed to go to work but not much else. I am supposed to rest and keep my feet up and reduce stress as much as possible. She has told me to prepare my work for me going out on bed rest and she expects that will be soon.

I know how early 21 weeks is to have all of these symptoms and I have been crying since last night when I heard things like lung development and 28 week delivery (a patient of hers who had delivered then and the baby was fine now - I think she was trying to reassure me). I am so afraid that I will not be able to carry him to anywhere close to a healthy time. My first instict is to get all of the baby stuff I have bought out of the house and not buy anything more and not allow anyone else to either. I just cannot help but think how painful seeing all of that stuff will be if I lose him. Please do not flame me. I just need advice on how not to give up; how to once again be excited about my son coming without thinking the worst. Thanks.

JennlovesAustin

I have had high BP and swelling since week 12 and on meds since weeek 16 to try and control things.  I am currently on a 4 day period of bed rest to see if new meds will help, test for proteins, and see if the bed rest will help.  If I pass, I go back to work.  If I fail, I am on bed rest, or worse, to the hospital for delivery.

There is HOPE!  I have been going since week 12 and have already made it to week 26 (almost 27).  Just do what the doctor says, relax as much as humanely possible, take help where you can get it, and keep that baby brewing!

Good luck to you.

mommy_bear

I am expecting twins. One of which died at 17 weeks.

I live with grief for Baby A and fear for Baby B's survival every day. It's hard to be positive. It's hard to have hope. But, what else can you do?

What you can do is: eat right, drink lots of water, rest, reduce stress, be your own advocate with your doctors, surround yourself with loving/supportive/positive people....

Focus your energy on that little one growing and thriving inside you. You WILL get through this!

Kari

 

Temp616379875002458

I'm only a lurker on this board, but I just wanted to say "good luck".  I will pray for you.  (If you're a religious person, at all, I think it helps to tell others your fears and ask them to pray for you. . When you get down, you can remind yourself of all of the people praying for you.)

 

lilbit923

You always have a choice when you feel helpless. You are 21 weeks now. You can choose to be ecstatic you are at 21 weeks and remain confident that you'll make it the rest of the way or you can choose to let doubt settle in. Somehow, I don't think you're ready to do that.

When I was pregnant with my son, I was married to a horrible abusive, steroid injecting, cheating piece of crap. I had just beat cervical cancer a few months before this particular night and was told that I should not bet on having children. I think that was the doc's way of saying nicely "no kids for you".

I got pregnant 2 months later. The night I want to tell you about was one I won't forget but was a turning point for me. I was a police officer at the time and my husband never let me forget that he hated me. I knew he was cheating on me and he was mad that I confronted the women about it. I was in the bathtub and he came in to talk to me. He told me he hoped the baby didn't survive and if it was possible he would do all he could to get me to lose it, he didn't want me, the baby and if we both died then he would get my house and everything I owned.

As a cop I had told many women to leave abusive men and here I was with one. What kind of example do I expect to set if I gave in to that, telling these women to leave and I'm staying? Nope not me. I decided then as I looked at my belly, I have a baby in here and the best chance for survival for this baby is if I survive.

I kicked him out, filed for divorce and went into hiding because his drug dealing buddies were looking for me. I delivered my son, after 2 other bouts with early labor, at 37 weeks. He was born dying and his lungs couldn't sustain a breath. Since we were in a divorce I could not withhold information from him. I called my husband to tell him the baby was here and that he wasn't doing well. His response? "Let me know if he dies because if he does then I don't have to pay child support."

He has never met my son though he lives 20 minutes from us. My son survived and just turned 8 last month. He is the sweetest thing on two feet and the best thing I ever did. He tells me that I am his best girl. I live for that.

So, you have a choice. You embrace every kick, every roll and when he gets here you spoil that baby every chance you get! Do not remove the baby stuff, spend time in the nursery, practice your lullabies, talk to him. Don't give up. This isn't for nothing. There is a purpose to this.

Good Luck,
~Heather

RavenWolf

Thank you so much. Thank you for sharing your stories and your wisdom. I really do appreciate it. I cannot say how much your comments have meant to me. Thank you.

maurisa74

I think it is helpful if at the end of every day you write down or tell your DH three (or more) things you are grateful happened that day. It has always helped me to re-focus on the positive. Good luck!