***AB&TB***

momagain2009

I understand you may be a little upset about the lack of support you received today but please keep in mind that a lot of girls there are very new, there have been a TON of BFP's the past two weeks and it has become a very tight knit group of girls supporting one another during this tough journey.

We haven't seen you post there recently and with all the new faces on a daily basis it's hard to remember someone who posted a month ago.

Congratulations on your news and I hope you have a H&H 9 months!

texas77

ditto!  it's just hard to be 100% happy for you when i don't even know you.

ncsubride

butting in

You should be happy for her bc we have all walked in those shoes and I know it is hard to be happy for them but you would want someone to be happy for you.  Everyone will have their time and today it was her day.

Snugs99

ncsubride:

butting in

You should be happy for her bc we have all walked in those shoes and I know it is hard to be happy for them but you would want someone to be happy for you.  Everyone will have their time and today it was her day.

If you are feeling upset you didn't have to reply at all because many people were happy for her.  The loss boards are about support.

AB&TB

I have posted on many posts much more recently than that.  As someone else said, the search that you were looking at was new posts...it doesn't include all of the replies that I have made. 

Snugs99

ncsubride:

butting in

You should be happy for her bc we have all walked in those shoes and I know it is hard to be happy for them but you would want someone to be happy for you.  Everyone will have their time and today it was her day.

Duh...meant to say ditto to what ncsu said.

texas77

ok, well that is where we are different.  and i did tell her congrats, by the way. 

lata82

like I said before TTCAL was created for the people on MC/PL who were ready to talk about TTC'ing, BFP'S and all things baby without upsetting those they werent there yet. The AL boards were all created to be snark free and support of everyone regardless of their posting habits, not everyone can be supportive all the time yet still need support even for a BFP, as you all know it's scary the 2nd go around right after a loss.

texas - when you join this board, we won't know who you are either but we will still welcome you with open arms, regardless of what happened today.

AngelLuver_02

AB&TB:

I have posted on many posts much more recently than that.  As someone else said, the search that you were looking at was new posts...it doesn't include all of the replies that I have made. 

I think it's ridiculous that they even ran a search to see what you've posted. That is not the point of that board at all.  Have we all been miserable, upset and beside ourseleves during our loss(es) yes, but we were always supportive to one another. They will and I hope have successful PG's soon, and will move over to SAL and then here and want to be welcomed with open arms, they better lose the snark before then.

Sueball1

I think what is really upsetting to so many of us is that the loss boards have always been very close-knit. Most of us on here were integral in starting one of these boards, whether it be SAL, PAL, PL or  your board, TTCAL. We have all been on these boards in various stages, for various times. We understand the bitterness. But we created these boards to be a family. We welcome new members, and while I understand the drive-by BFP phenomenon and it sucks, I always felt that if the drive-byer had a loss, it didn't matter- maybe she was a lurker, maybe she had just started posting, but she knew the pain I knew and that was sufficient for me to say congrats and leave it at that.

TTCAL is not TTC. Sometimes people will luck out the month after their loss. Sometimes it will take longer. I think a lot of the women here who had specific issues found solace in other boards like TTC or Multiples or TTC after 35 or whatever... that allowed TTCAL to stay a warm, happy little place where we could really find a pick me up on this crappy journey. So what happened today is like going back to a high school that was warm and supportive and seeing that the mean girls have taken over, and that kinda hurts, you know?

texas77

lata82:

like I said before TTCAL was created for the people on MC/PL who were ready to talk about TTC'ing, BFP'S and all things baby without upsetting those they werent there yet. The AL boards were all created to be snark free and support of everyone regardless of their posting habits, not everyone can be supportive all the time yet still need support even for a BFP, as you all know it's scary the 2nd go around right after a loss.

texas - when you join this board, we won't know who you are either but we will still welcome you with open arms, regardless of what happened today.

thank you lata for being willing to welcome me with open arms, but after what i've seen i don't think i want to join. 

i have lurked here a lot because everyone that started on TTCAL with me went to SAL and then here.  and i lurk to follow up on their progress. 

rodiggity79

I had my loss last July and got pregnant in September... I was only on TTCAL for 2 months and really didn't post a lot unless it was to offer congrats to someone who got a bfp or ask a question about girls going thru something similar to me. There were a ton of girls who had been on there longer than I had and who posted more regularly...

But when I got my BFP, all I received were the warmest wishes. And even if some of those wishes were filled with jealousy or spite, no one said anything to ruin my wonderful news.

Sueball is right... we have ALL been thru a loss and that alone should unite us. You turned her good news into something that she had to defend. So not cool to me.

dmsmth

rodiggity79:

But when I got my BFP, all I received were the warmest wishes. And even if some of those wishes were filled with jealousy or spite, no one said anything to ruin my wonderful news.

This was me towards the end of my TTCAL journey and seeing so many ppl come in and out and lap me by would hurt.  But despite the fact I was jealous, and sad for myself that I felt left behind, I ALWAYS made sure to congrat every BFP, and with out any additional comments.  It wasn't thier fault  I felt left behind, and what is the point of turning somebodys happy moment into a debate.