I'm kind of sad to say this, but

KittenGator

I might have to change churches. This church made me who I am and was there for me in my formative, high school years. I feel so much love when I go in and today's experience was not what it normally was.

The two things that struck me were that 1) the pastor asked people to sign a petition against gay marriage and 2) the pastor quoted a Bible verse that said something about "the fool eating well" and then commented on how it "reminds him of the welfare system" but he "won't get into that."

WWYD? Would you change churches, or continue to go and ignore things like that? In the years I have been going in the past, I don't recall these things being said, but the church definitely believes these things. They are just all so loving towards me.

I know the final decision is mine, I just want your thoughts )?

kelbrian

I would have to leave. There is no way that I could continue attending knowing what they believe. 

The_Spanish_Inquisition

I'd leave. Those are issues that are a fundamental part of what some people believe, and if I disagreed with what my church was teaching about them, I'd have to go. They're too big a deal for me to overlook.

laurenbug

I grew up in a wonderful church, and like you, it really made me who I am today and was so good for me during middle and high school.

Well, I moved away after college, and didn't really find a church where I am now until DS was born.  DH and I started going to a church that some of our friends went to, and have honestly fallen in love with it.  We joined it a few months ago, and DS was baptized there last month...even though I'd always said I'd have my children baptized in the church where I grew up (and were me, my mom and my grandmother were all baptized).

It was like a light went on when we joined this church.  While the church I grew up in was wonderful for parts of my life, the church we're members of now is wonderful for my family and our life now (yes, I know we're also not in the same city as the church I grew up in, but even if we were, we would have found another church).

I'm sorry this is so long.  I guess what I'm trying to say, is that I know how you feel about growing up in a church and feeling like it should be with you for life.  There is nothing wrong with trying out other churches, though, and seeing if there's a 'spark' there.  You may not be able to really see what you need until you've already found it (possibly in another church)...does that make sense?!  Good luck!

Gin*In*TN

I'd leave. Knowing that's how they feel, I'd not be comfortable going back since that's not how I feel.

kittylove

I would have to leave, I couldn't go to a church that didn't accept and love everyone, and that looked down on the poor. I will agree that our welfare system sucks but I do feel that most people in it are trying to get out of poverty. Plus in this economy lots of families I know are turning to gov assistance, not because they want to but because they have to in order to feed thier kids.

iris427

Sorry but I would have to leave.

carolinag

i would have to leave. and i would probably say something to the pastor. i would thank him for the years of formative guidance that they gave you, but say in light of certain actions you no longer feel it is the right place of worship for you. that you are chosing to focus on love rather than hatred. but that is just me. at the very least i would quietly leave.

ps - i sent you a PM a few days ago and keep forgetting to tell you! 

KittenGator

Side note, with Wefare giving a maximum of $563 in this state, I don't know how one could "eat well." And if it weren't for welfare, I wouldn't have my DH, and the thought of other innocent children starving makes me sick.

Thanks for your insight ladies, I guess leaving is the right thing to do. Thannks for your story, Lauren, I'm glad you understand. ?

carolinag

when i think about this more i am astounded that a pastor would be against welfare. don't churches ask for money on a regular basis to help keep them up and running. i just reallllly think that jesus would be all for any sort of program that was providing assistance to the needy. this blows my mind.

1MusicMaker

We're Methodist and for some reason in the Methodist church the pastors get moved around every few years (although it can take several years for this to happen).  You could change and then if/when a new pastor comes, change back.

KittenGator

1MusicMaker:

We're Methodist and for some reason in the Methodist church the pastors get moved around every few years (although it can take several years for this to happen).? You could change and then if/when a new pastor comes, change back.

This pastor is new. The church I go to, Alliance and Missionary Christian, is very conservative, very Biblical, and it will probably always be that way. That's a good suggestion though!

ibbym

Those things do not need to be brought up in a church sermon...especially a petition.  I would probably switch churches and let the pastor know why.

lanie26

Bah, that sucks so much. I'd switch. Basically because you want your daughter to grow up surrounded by love and support. What if she is gay? I couldn't take the chance my child would be hurt by a community that I had a part in choosing for her. 

You know?  

KittenGator

lanie26:

Bah, that sucks so much. I'd switch. Basically because you want your daughter to grow up surrounded by love and support. What if she is gay? I couldn't take the chance my child would be hurt by a community that I had a part in choosing for her.?

You know? ?

You're right. The pastor mentioned that you still "love and accept" gay people but because they were so against their marriage it made me feel like they didn't *really* love and accept gay people.

I checked into my friend's church that is just down the street and she said that they are open to gay marriage and provide lists of other churches that support gays. Honestly, I'm sick over the thought of leaving but even more sick over what the pastor said.?

MEJ2008

Have you talked face to face with your pastor about it (if you are close enough)?

I don't attend the church I grew up in anymore because I haven't lived in the area since I went to college, but since I'm pretty close with the people there I would feel some sort of need for confrontation or at least to understand what they meant by the statement.I would want clarification that that was in fact what they believed, and if it was true, I would leave.

KittenGator

MEJ2008:

Have you talked face to face with your pastor about it (if you are close enough)?

I don't attend the church I grew up in anymore because I haven't lived in the area since I went to college, but since I'm pretty close with the people there I would feel some sort of need for confrontation or at least to understand what they meant by the statement.I would want?clarification that that was in fact what they believed, and if it was true, I would leave.

I stopped going to this church when I turned 21 (I was too hungover to wake up on time most Sundays!) and at that time, there was a lot of turmoil and the pastor I was close with left. They had a bunch of temporary pastors until they found this one. During this time, DH and I were 2.5 hours away while he went to college. This is the fourth time I have attended this church since we've been back, and thus the fourth time I've met/seen him speak. Thank you for your input.?

adamwife

If you have been going there your entire life and this is the first time something happened like this, I would practice some forgiveness and give him another chance.  Maybe you could schedule a meeting with him and ask him more about why he felt the need to talk about it in church.  This way you could get a better feeling for how your pastor feels. 

Then, if you don't feel comfortable around the leader of your church, I would find a new one.

adamwife

KittenGator:

Side note, with Wefare giving a maximum of $563 in this state, I don't know how one could "eat well." And if it weren't for welfare, I wouldn't have my DH, and the thought of other innocent children starving makes me sick.

This is why I would schedule to meet with him for clarity.

If the man were responsible for such an amazing experience during my formative years, I would want to give him that opportunity.

Don't let one bad statement ruin all the years of good ones on his part.

adamwife

KittenGator:

1MusicMaker:

We're Methodist and for some reason in the Methodist church the pastors get moved around every few years (although it can take several years for this to happen).  You could change and then if/when a new pastor comes, change back.

This pastor is new. The church I go to, Alliance and Missionary Christian, is very conservative, very Biblical, and it will probably always be that way. That's a good suggestion though!

I belong to the same denomination.

tarebear9891

Something about the petition that bothers me...if you don't believe what it is saying and don't want to sign it you are going to stand out like a sore thumb if you don't. That is putting you in an awkward position where an entire church has the opportunity to judge you because you choose not to sign a petition about something you don't believe in. This seems manipulative to me and I would have to leave.

KittenGator

adamwife:

I would practice some forgiveness and give him another chance

I do forgive him, it's just that if these truly are fundamental beliefs of the C&MA church, it's not for me. It is a very loving place but those two issues are hot buttons for me. I only attended this church for four years. They were an important four years, but certainly not my whole life.