My husband claims he 'doesn't hear' the babies at night

AlpacaBunny

I am so pissed off this morning.  I have been SO tired and exhausted all week, looking forward to my H being home with us on the weekend so I can maybe get a little extra rest or at least have some extra help with things.  He is great during the day but overnight I swear I want to just throw things at him to wake him up.  Last night I didn't get to bed until much later than I should have and so I knew it would be rough if the babies were up overnight.  Last night they kept waking up, just crying a little bit here and there, wanting a paci or needing to be reswaddled, nothing major, but when I am the ONLY one who gets up to do these things all night long it gets to wear on me.  He says, well just wake me up and I'll help you.  But in the past when I've woken him up to help me I get lots of huffing and puffing and complaining about being tired.  I just wish that I could sleep that f-ing well so I didn't hear every noise the babies make.  I wish he was the one who could hear it all and had to get up a bunch of times overnight.  Now we got up to feed them a little bit ago and I'm sitting here pumping while he went back to f-ing sleep. By the time I get to go back and lay down the babies will be up again in like an hour, so I won't get to actually sleep, then it will be time to feed them again.  Sorry for the rambling, I'm just so frustrated this morning and feel like crying. 

Stellar1

I'm sorry! 

AlpacaBunny

I just reread this and realize I sound kind of b!tchy.  My husband does help me alot, don't get me wrong.  But last night was just a rough one and I was SO irritated that he didn't wake up one time to be the one to check the babies, and I just needed to vent. 

ncsubride

AlpacaBunny:

I just reread this and realize I sound kind of b!tchy.  My husband does help me alot, don't get me wrong.  But last night was just a rough one and I was SO irritated that he didn't wake up one time to be the one to check the babies, and I just needed to vent. 

You have every right to feel that way.  You deserve sleep as much as he does.  I know how hard it is especially while pumping I thought I would never sleep and all I did was feeding/pumping it was a vicious cycle. 

Big hugs!  Tell him you are taking a nap today and do it.

ncsubride

AlpacaBunny:

I just reread this and realize I sound kind of b!tchy.  My husband does help me alot, don't get me wrong.  But last night was just a rough one and I was SO irritated that he didn't wake up one time to be the one to check the babies, and I just needed to vent. 

You have every right to feel that way.  You deserve sleep as much as he does.  I know how hard it is especially while pumping I thought I would never sleep and all I did was feeding/pumping it was a vicious cycle. 

Big hugs!  Tell him you are taking a nap today and do it.

MoinMoin

i hear you! dh does help out at night  but i swear it takes him 30 mins - he has to put on a shirt, go to the bathroom, blah blah then go and get the baby.  by that time i'm wide awake and could have done it in 5 mins.

right now ds is screaming i have no idea why. and i'm 'ignoring' him so dh has to take care of it.  i just spent an hour trying to get him to calm down for a morning nap, dh can try now.

ocean71506

You dont sound bitchy at ALL.  Many of us have been there with our dhs.  He totally should be helping you out at night, they are his babies too.  I hope he gets the message soon and starts getting up more at night.  Come here anytime to vent. ((hugs))

lkstor

My husband is the same way and I sympathize with your frustration! It's ironic that before baby my husband was a much lighter sleeper than I was. Now suddenly he can sleep through a screaming baby? Amazing! I think men are just missing some important genetic material that makes them less able to care for infants

jnealet

I'm so sorry!  And you're not being bitchy, you're a tired momma in need of help!

Can you put the monitor on your H's side of the bed one night a weekend?  Or I know couples that have split the weekend - one night mom is "on duty", the other night it's dad's turn.  You H may be a little more proactive if he knows he's in charge and not just helping.

I hope you get a nap in today!!! 

Miracle Social Worker

Its the same way at our house. I actually had to not put DS in the room with us at first because I woke up every time he even moved. I am sorry.

jkelly41

My DH says the same thing so we have an understanding that we'll rotate getting up with DS.  If DH doesn't hear him and it's his turn, I have the ok to wake DH up and tell him "baby is crying."  The only time this doesn't work is when DS wakes up in the morning and I have to nurse.  I do get bitter than DH gets to sleep in a little later than I do. 

Kris721

Sounds like my DH!!!!!  

daisy58

I'm sorry! It's frustrating- DH has NEVER got up with DS at night to this day!

 

I love your new pic!

ava_belle

I'm sorry! My DH claims he doesn't hear the baby either but says he is a lite sleeper??? DH can only help me on weekends for night duty and when he did he just moped around the house the rest of th day.  After two weekends like that I had enough and said I'll do it,

Dontblink

I am so sorry and totally get how you feel...can imagine it is so much harder with 2 babies doing this all night. I believe DH truly doesn't hear the baby some nights. He will be snoring so loud while the baby is screaming. He works a crazy job and I think he gets so exhausted and falls into a deep sleep. Me..I don't know what deep sleep is and I could never sleep that well! Big Hugs. Hope you get to rest during the day!

Gregsbride22

I know how you feel!  My DH never hears ds at night, I would have to wake him up to help.  That's why at least once a week he watches him all night and I go sleep in the other room.  Even if I had to wake up once to pump, at least I don't have to wake up much.  Maybe you could try that out if they take bottles well?  Hugs, hope you can get some sleep.

rodiggity79

I could have written this post... I feel your pain

rowanthefrog

You don't sound b!tchy at all...and lack of sleep is enough to make anyone on edge.

DH is also a hard sleeper and I would have to wake him up a lot.  I don't know if this would work with 2, but for the longest time we slept in shifts.  DH took the last feeding and I went to bed early - 9pm when possible.  If DS woke up before 2am, DH got up with him.  After 2am, I got up with him.  That way we both got at least a 5 hr stretch of sleep at night.  That also eliminated the YOU get up with him, no YOU do it.  And since I was BFing it also kept my bbs in sync with what was going on.

In any event, I hope you guys can find something that works for you and hopefully they will start sleeping better for you soon.

A 

stargirlkate

i m sorry!  my dh is the same way - he sleeps like the dead!  i could probably beat him and he still wouldnt wake up.  and we re the same w/ going back to sleep, i never can but hes asleep before he rolls over!  they really dont understand how difficult it is to live on the little snipits of sleep.  i hope you get some help and some rest soon! 

AlpacaBunny

Oh my gosh everyone, thank you for your replies.  I feel so much better getting it off my chest.  By some miracle our babies slept from 6:30 until 10:30 this morning!  Normally they go back down at 6:30 and wake up around 8:30. They must have known mommy was tired and needed some rest! 

JessMike07

You don't sound b!tchy!! You sound frustrated with your dh and I  can totally relate!! What are they gonna do when we go back to work??

AngelsAmid

my DH is the exact same way. Fabulous during the day. Absolutely no help during the night. It's been this way since she was a couple weeks old. He really doesn't wake up to the sound of her crying. He's like a zombie at night.

So I can only offer that you're not alone & a hug (hugs)

dmsmth

((hugs)) I understand, my DH doesn't hear my LO cry unless I'm so dead asleep she starts to really wail.  He could sleep through a train hitting our house!

cloud9climber

AngelsAmid:

my DH is the exact same way. Fabulous during the day. Absolutely no help during the night. It's been this way since she was a couple weeks old. He really doesn't wake up to the sound of her crying. He's like a zombie at night.

So I can only offer that you're not alone & a hug (hugs)

this exactly. he blames it on the ambien - well, quit effin taking it! ?I need help!!! ?