OMG my FIL. I seriously want to slap him.

MaybeABaby?

I b!tched about my FIL today in the FFFC- about how he didn'tr raise DH and I cannnot stand to be around him: https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/3/19218375/ShowThread.aspx

And I get 2 emails from him today. One is a stupid forward that has terrible and ridiculous claims, so I looked it up on snopes and then emailed him the link that shows that it's false (and ridiculous) and he replies "I knew that, it just makes me feel better to sign the petition". UH, if you knew that it was fake, then why did you forward it to all your friends? Dumba$$.

The second email was about my ds- I had emailed him and some other people pics of Jack sitting up for the first time (it's a big deal because our doc just referred him for physical therapy because of his history/surgeries) and he replied "He looks fine to me---pretty spry--- he doesn't need physical therapy... I guess it won't hurt him if you want to pursue it, but he is fine, I wouldn't worry about it and definitely wouldn't spend my money on it."

UM, again, dumba$$, I will listen to my doctor and neurosurgeon and not you when it comes to my baby's development. You didn't bother to raise your own son (or pay a dime of child support), so of course you wouldn't spend your money on anything for your child. I seriously want to slap him.

emiliemadison

I think you're going to give yourself an ulcer if you continue to have so much venom for someone who doesnt really have much to do with your daily lives. I get that you think he's a sh!tty person, and maybe he is, but it seems like you're putting a LOT of effort into this and getting way too worked up over comments made by someone who lives 10 hours away and has only seen your DS 2 times.

mooregatemommy

He probably just doesn't know what else to say. To him, never raising a child, your ds probably is developing fine. I would just blow it off. I know, easier said then done.

LoriFalce

I'd trade the life-sucking vampire in my basement for a FIL I could delete at will any day.

But I do get that it's hard to take advice on child rearing from someone who never bothered to do it himself. Kind of like having someone without a license backseat drive.

Monkeybuttwhat

You have to choose to let this go or cut him out.

One or the other. The whole he didn;t pay a dime of CS doesn;t need to be the tag line on everything about him. Yes that is crappy. But you have to let go of the anger. 

MaybeABaby?

I totally agree that I have a lot of anger about this. I have to make a conscious effort to be nice to him, which thankfully is not very often. He is just so damn high and mighty about everything. Not to mention that I've overheard him making fun of me on several occasions- he just irks me to no end.

MaybeABaby?

Monkeybuttwhat:

The whole he didn;t pay a dime of CS doesn;t need to be the tag line on everything about him.

I just mentioned the child support in this post in reference to his response that he wouldn't spend his money on physical therapy- which obviously he would not, because he didn't bother to buy anything for DH.  It's not my "tag line" on everything about him, just making a specific money-related reference.

Monkeybuttwhat

I read your FFFC this morning and it was in that post and the post you linked. If the guy bothers you that much I just would not send him emails. There is someone in DHs family that does this stuff. Like omg how do you guys afford for you to SAH when you pay his ex all that money etc. I just don't include her on any emails anymore.

You're the one who posted this stuff sorry you don't like my response 

MaybeABaby?

Sorry, I just re-read my response and it sounded rude- not how I meant it. I just meant that I said it again in this post because of the money reference.

Monkeybuttwhat

I also get touchy when I always hear that thrown out and need to get over that because their are dads that do not pay. But DHs ex tells his kids we don't pay when we do and they come over saying things like why don;t you take care of me and stuff. It is so hard not to be like omg if you only knew how much freaking money we give her. Anywho if that Dad has his drivers license and passport still someone did not file for that and it is just as much their fault. I don't know if you guys realize but if no one ever filed you still can and he will have to pay you guys money. If you guys are not up for that I hope you are able to make peace with the situation at some point GL

MaybeABaby?

Thanks. I definitely can appreciate where you're coming from- that would upset me a lot... Fortunately for my DH, he was raised by his grandparents and they had more than enough to raise and care for him. They paid his father's rent for him while ds was growing up because he was too irresponsible with his money (They were definitely enabling him!) but they didn't want their grandson's father to be homeless. I know for a fact that he paid nothing- in fact, he took from the people raising his child. DH's grandparents also bought a business  and basically gave it to him to run (as a way of helping him get on his feet), which he promptly ran into the ground. Just last year he finished paying the back taxes on that business that went under over 30 years ago.

We would not file for back child support, we wouldn't want his money nor do we need it. I just wish he would quit acting so high and mighty about him being a great parent/grandparent when obviously he was not.

Monkeybuttwhat

Well I totally get where you are coming from. I stick wiht the let it go or cut him out so you guys can be happy. I am a cut them out kind of girl so you know . Whe they get their act right I let them come back.