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Adoption
16 & PG
I usually don't post here, but we are considering adoption at some point as a way to complete our family. I haven't researched much, but last night's episode really touched me. What a heart breaking descision for all involved. The BM and BF really loved their little girl so much and to be acknowledge that they were not ready to raise her was such mature descision to make. The scene where they gave the baby to the adoptive parents and watched as they drove away had me in tears!
A few questions for all of you already on this journey:
I guess because BM's mother wouldn't sign the release form the transition couldn't be made on hospital grounds. Is this a law?
Is the type of counseling the BM recieved typical? I thought her counselor was so nice and supportive.
What did you all think about the moments when the BM was taking pics and that the adoptive family was kept waiting? Did you think that she wouldn't go through with the adoption?
Do you feel this was an accurate portrayal of the process?
Thanks for all your input.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: 16 & PG
I don't know about every state, but I would say that this should always be the case due to her age. She was not old enough to sign a legally binding contract.
Is the type of counseling the BM recieved typical? I thought her counselor was so nice and supportive.
The counseling seemed very abbreviated, but I think this is probably due to editing. I didn't like the end where is just showed BM and BD upset, seemingly on their own again...I'm sure there was further counseling for them. I liked how BF wrote letters and they got to spend some time getting to know and bond w/ the AP's. I'm sure this was supported by the agency.
What did you all think about the moments when the BM was taking pics and that the adoptive family was kept waiting? Did you think that she wouldn't go through with the adoption?
I was not surprised that they changed their mind and decided to spend some time w/ the baby. I think it was a good decision, but my heart was aching for the AP's who had to endure that time wondering if she "might" change her mind!
Do you feel this was an accurate portrayal of the process?
Yes, for the most part...no two situations are the same though.
I have no idea.
I think a lot of people on this board are looking for an agency that provides a lot of counseling and support for the BM. I don't know how typical it is, or how much it varies from agency to agency.
I didn't watch, but having watched enough Adoption Story episodes to satisfy for a while, I'm sure there's always a fear that the birthfamily will change their minds. But it's a risk that's inherently involved in adoption.
No idea. But now I'm going to have to watch it tonight.
I have so many issues about this episode.
One, this couple is mature on a level that transgressed anything that I have ever seen on MTV or any other show about this subject matter. For this couple to be this so well spoken and grown up about their decision even though their parents (crazy eh?) did not support them was just amazing.
Two, I know that this is the adoption board and there is a side taken but I thought the adoptive parents were very callous about the whole "hand off". Sure she gave the kid a charm bracelet and told her she would call her but really? Thats it? No tears of joy? No jumping up and down with glee? I hope it was just editing...
I know I dont belong on your board, I admit it. No one else on my preemie board had even heard of the show so I thought I would jump in.
I think the AP's, especially the a-mom, was trying to balance her excitement, joy, happiness, glee for becoming a mom with her anguish, grief, heartbreak, sadness she felt for the b-mom. I'm sure some of their relationship was edited out for time, etc. Both the a-mom and the b-mom were very emotional about the thoughtful gift she gave. The b-mom seemed very mature during the entire episode and I think that she would have called out bogus actions by the AP's if she thought they were bogus. She shot straight about her own mom, why wouldn't she have about the AP's.?
I prefer to see everyone from this episode with good hearts. Well, except maybe the girls mom (b-grandmother). Although even she was more than likely just dealing poorly (very poorly) with her own grief.?
I wish they would have shown the SW talking about life long counseling available for all parties.
ETA: I read an interview yesterday that the b-mom did 8 weeks or so after the baby was born. Here is an excerpt:
MP: Did you guys arrange for an open adoption?C: Yeah, our adoption is open.MP: What do you anticipate that being like?C: We get pictures all the time. They send us pictures like every two weeks. We get phone calls, emails, and we get to go have face-to-face visits at least twice a year.
Interview here:?https://tiny.cc/9YofQ??
I have to agree with Stephanie, I think part of it was editing and part of it was trying to balance her emotions. If I were the birthmom and the adoptive mom came in and jumped up and down with glee, I would have been very upset that she didn't take my feelings into account. Add to that the emotional rollercoaster everyone is on, it must be hard to figure out what emotion is going to be at the forefront from one moment to the next.
Adoption is bittersweet. There is great sadness and great joy.