I don't know what to do re: baptism

nuttybunch

Before my nephew was baptised, I didn't know much about it. I knew the basic things you learn in church, but you don't really learn anything about the planning, reception, etc.

My nephew was baptised in March. BIL and SIL invited their siblings and parents (2 siblings were godparents). They reserved a room in the church and had sloppy joes, fruit and cupcakes.

Jack is getting baptised on Sunday. I invited siblings and parents (my bro and sis are godparents). We're having people back to our house after for quiche and cupcakes.

Ok, here's the hard part. We didn't invite our grandparents. MY grandparents were more active in our lives because they only have the three of us grandkids. DH's grandparents have about 25 grandkids and weren't very active because there are so many. I didn't know baptisms were such a big production. I knew they're a big DEAL because I learned about baptism growing up, but I didn't know it was something we needed to have a million witnesses to.

I just talked to my dad and he thought they would be invited. I told him they weren't. I talked to my mom and asked if that would be a big deal, and she said my grandpa would be disappointed because he was always super active in our lives. But when I asked if I should call and invite them, she said no because I would hurt their feelings by making them think they're an afterthought.

Do you think I should go to their house and explain my poisition and ask them if they'd like to come? Say I didn't know it was a big to-do, and now that I know, I really want them there? Or do you think it would be insulting?

mrsbliven

Just invite them. No need to explain anything. Just add some more quiche and cupcakes. If you leave them out for this, don't be suprised if they become even less involved.

mrs.lizzieb

I would invite them. Even if they think it's an afterthought, in the end, it'd be better than to not be invited at all.  You can explain your position, so they know where you were coming from- you weren't meaning to hurt their feelings.  GL! 

clee2009

I would invite them. Just tell them you would like them there. At least now you will know for the next time I just had DD baptism last weekend and went through the same thing. I wasn't sure who I should invite and who would be hurt if I didn't invite them. I worry about those things A LOT! But it turned out okay in the end! Good luck!

beachybride1

I would invite them, I think they would be happier to have an invite ahead of time than to find out they missed it later.  I wouldn't make a big deal out of the fact they weren't initially invited but if they question it explain why.

JARbaby

IMO Baptism are a huge deal, to me it is the most important day in a childs life.

I can't believe you did not invite your grandparents and that you do not see this as a big deal. I think you have insulted them already by excluding them from a family event. I would just call and say "Baptism is Sunday, we would love it if you could come"

nuttybunch

JARbaby:

IMO Baptism are a huge deal, to me it is the most important day in a childs life.

I can't believe you did not invite your grandparents and that you do not see this as a big deal. I think you have insulted them already by excluding them from a family event. I would just call and say "Baptism is Sunday, we would love it if you could come"

I didn't see it as a big deal initially because no grandparents were invited to my nephew's baptism and I didn't know any better. For Pete's sake, until then I didn't even know there was a reception after it or that people were supposed to bring gifts!!!

I DO think it's a big deal now, but I just wasn't sure how to handle it.

mtendere

My LO isn't here yet, but I understand where you're coming from.  I always thought of a baptism as a small affair mostly concerning the religious community and not a huge family affair.  Since I moved and started attending a new church there are pews filled with people when there is a baptism.  I don't know what we'll do, but since most of my family is out of town, it probably won't be a big deal.

iteachk

mrsbliven:

Just invite them. No need to explain anything. Just add some more quiche and cupcakes. If you leave them out for this, don't be suprised if they become even less involved.

This.  My grandparents would have been heartbroken if they hadn't been invited.  It was a huge deal to them.