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It had to happen at some point. . .

ColoRxGirlColoRxGirl
in Adoption

Someone finally said something to me that seemed downright insensitive about the adoption thing.  Up 'til now, I've been pretty insulated.  The story:

I sent an email out to friends and family talking about how we were homestudy approved and then I explained what was on the horizon for us.  I talked about how the homestudy went, how it took six months, and that we still could have an 18 month wait for a baby.  I got a large number of really kind responses from the whole group.  Good luck, we're praying for you, hope the wait is over soon, etc.  Then someone from DH's family sends this:

"We'll be thinking of you.  Grandma (MIL) will be so excited to be there for you.  And if you hadn't heard, (DH)'s cousin is due in Feb with #7."

Ummm, OK.  Thanks for that info in response to our adoption email?  Indifferent

Now, I've got nothing against DH's cousin (they are Christians of the Quiverfull movement - think the Duggars).  But did I need that tidbit of info tacked on?  Not really.

Thanks for reading.  Overly-sensitive-response-to-unintended-slight rant over.

2 years TTC with 5 losses, 1 year recovering, 6 months applying for adoption approval, and almost a year waiting for a placement. Then, a miracle BFP at age 36!


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Re: It had to happen at some point. . .

  • jacksjerseygirljacksjerseygirl member

    I'm sorry :-(

    Let it go though - they probably did not connect the two issues in their own mind and thought that on top of wishing you well on your journey thought they would share 'related' (baby news) with you.

    I loved all the well wishes - it really pumped us up. Just go read those a few more times and forget about this ;-)

     

     

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  • Dr.LorettaDr.Loretta member

    Oy, people are strange. And they always seem to put 2 unrelated things together like that.

    I hope you get so many well wishes you can just let this one get lost in the shuff.e

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  • (DFL)(DFL)

    I think you're "slightly" over reacting?  I don't know it would not have upset me.

     I look at it as you shared your good news about the family getting bigger and she is also sharing good news of the same type.  ??

     

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  • Jessie*JJessie*J

    I would have been hurt about it also. I think it wasn't the right place ... but some people think differently.

    My DH's family are plain TRASH ... I could tell you horrible things about them --- well my DH had talked to them the day we first went in for our interviews at the agency and instead of asking about how it was going or how we were they were like "oh yea, ____ and ____ are pregnant again. Can you believe it? _____ just got out of jail today. He'll prolly be in jail for most of this pregnancy too."

    It just went on about them. No regards to us at all. DH was crushed when he got off the phone. Some people don't understand there are times and places for this stuff.

     Hugs

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  • ColoRxGirlColoRxGirl

    Oh, I know I'm over-reacting.

    The lady who sent it is really nice - I know she didn't mean anything by it.

    Deep down, I think I was more bent at the cosmic injustice of some families getting all the babies they want. . . and some just don't.

    2 years TTC with 5 losses, 1 year recovering, 6 months applying for adoption approval, and almost a year waiting for a placement. Then, a miracle BFP at age 36!


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  • Art TeacherArt Teacher

    I think I would have felt the same way as you; I understand what you were saying.

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  • (DFL)(DFL)
    imageColoRxGirl:

    Deep down, I think I was more bent at the cosmic injustice of some families getting all the babies they want. . . and some just don't.

    I understand that part too.  It's frustrating. 

    ColoRxgirl-I was nervous to post my thoughts on it thinking I was going to get flamed to holy sky's and back.  lol  You seem to have took my post well hopefully and based on your last post I quoted you know deep down there can be many things stirring in our heads.   I wish you and your DH well in this process and hope the wait goes fast for you.  :)

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  • ColoRxGirlColoRxGirl

    Thanks (DFL)!  Wink

    2 years TTC with 5 losses, 1 year recovering, 6 months applying for adoption approval, and almost a year waiting for a placement. Then, a miracle BFP at age 36!


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  • Capricornbaby80Capricornbaby80
    I don't think that she was trying to hurt your feelings. I think that she was just sending you a little update ( a be it was at the wrong time). Some people just don't understand how we feel going through this adoption process with the long wait and all the different things that we have to do. They are just ignorant to our feelings because they don't understand ( I always say, " Who feels it knows it". I hope that you have a very short wait from now on, and you will be granted your forever family very soon. Good luck
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  • LadyRed7LadyRed7

    ugh... i would have had the initial reaction at first too, but then realized like pp said what her intentions were.

    I'm so happy for you that you are set to go though! That is great news. 

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