Adoption
We're meeting the birthmom who picked us on Thursday...
I'm so nervous...
I know we'll all be nervous. Maybe that should make me feel less nervous, but it doesn't! I'm excited, too, but we've just never been through anything like this before.
I put together a photo album to take with us. I am going to offer it to her if she would like to keep it. Our agency also suggests bringing a small gift, such as cookies or flowers. We're bringing cookies, but I also bought her a small gift, too - a few small art supplies since it's something she really likes.
I think the waiting is the hardest part...I'm more of a do-it-now-so-I-don't-have-time-to-get-nervous kind of person!
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Re: We're meeting the birthmom who picked us on Thursday...
LOL i'm more of a do it now person too!
I'm so excited for you!! GL and I hope it goes well!!!
Good luck!
I know it will go well!
OMG Wendy! I would be going crazy!! I can't even imagine! I think the album and the art supplies are a great idea. It's going to be a crazy week for ya! I'll be thinking of ya.
Erica
The list of questions is a good idea. You don't need to pull them out, but having thought through some things to ask will help with the nerves. Also, write down just some basic conversation points if you need something to lighten the mood up.?
I remember the first time we talked to our BM on the phone we were all so nervous that my husband blurted out, so how do you like Utah? It was so awkward that it broke the ice and we joked about it later.
I'm sure every BM is different, but for us we were all very very nervous. It seemed that as we told funny stories about our life (and took pressure off of her) she got much more relaxed and everything started flowing really well. ?She would tell stories back and those are some of the most precious things we learned.?
Congrats! Good luck! ?
I can't wait to hear all about it!!!
I'm positive it will go really well. I'm sure you will put her at ease in no time and you all will be laughing and chatting like you've know each other forever.
Big hugs and deep breathes.
Good luck, I'm sure it'll be great! I think the hardest part is waiting for the appt time to just get here.
We did the list of questions and it made me feel good to have a 'fall-back' plan!
The gift sounds great, personal and not over the top!
YAY! I remember that feeling in my stomach both nerves and excitement. Our BM really put us at ease but I know she was really nervous too!
Good luck!
Thank you so much everybody - it was so nice to come on here and read all of your responses. I know it's just nerves...we did jot down some questions already, but I think I want to see if I can think of anymore. We're meeting with them for an hour or so - part of me thinks that's a long time, but part of me knows it's going to fly by.
Thanks so much,
Wendy
Our agency gave us a list of conversation starters/questions for the 1st meeting. If I can, I'll get back on tonight from home and share some of those.
Thank you, Stephanie! That would be great!!!!
Maybe! I know I mentioned art quite a bit in our profile -- how I like art, how I'm an art teacher, how I can't wait to teach our child about art, and we even included a picture of me teaching in my classroom!
I wanna know why no one is questioning your agency suggesting you take her a gift...when I posted about my lawyer suggesting this to us and several people questioned it!
(j/k -- I don't care -- but it is funny!)
Really? I don't remember the post where people questioned it! Our agency suggests bringing something like cookies or flowers and photos and had no problem at all when I mentioned art supplies. It's just something personal that she specifically mentioned she liked, and since we have it in common, too, I thought it would be nice.
YAY! how fun!
And I too, wondered why no one commented like they previously did about the fact that someone mentioned bringing a gift. I guess since you're with an agency its not considered "bribery"?
OK, here are some sample questions to help stimulate conversation...
1-What are your favorite hobbies/activities?
?2-Do you have any special family traditions for holidays, etc that we should share with this child?
3-What are your favorite foods/desserts/snacks?
4-What were/are your favorite topics of study?
5-Do you have a favorite childhood memory?
6-What are your favorite books, movies, music, etc?
7-Do you play an instruments or sing?
8-Do you have any pets? Favorite animals?
9-Favorite plants/flowers?
10-What do you want in regard to openness/communication, before and after placement?
These are just ideas to get things flowing.
?
We hadn't thought of most of those! Thanks so much for the ideas. We had thought of the family traditions/holidays, but I like how you phrased it.
This is what we've come up with:
What are you favorite movies/actors/actresses?
What is your favorite type of music/singers/groups?
What are your hobbies? (We know some of this already.)
What types of sports do you like? (We also know a bit about this)
What books/magazines do you like?
What do you like best in school/why?
What stood out to you in our profile?
What does having an open/semi-open adoption mean to you?
Will she need rides to doctor appointments? (Our director suggested we ask her this...)
What does your family like to do together?
What are the holidays like in your house? Do you have any traditions at Christmas/Thanksgiving? Do you have a favorite holiday?
The trick will be to not have my mind go completely blank when we meet her!!
I was thinking about this, and I think it's?because?you asked what we thought, and thus you got honest responses and Wendy?just?stated what she's doing/what her agency suggests without asking for opinions from us...
Very true. So moral of the story -- don't ask for opinions.
heh - yeah.. I've learned my lesson in the past