WWYD? Do I have a right to be upset?
NOt sure if I am over-reacting, being hormonal or valid with my feelings.
I am a stay at home mom...my 26 month old son has gone thru many transitions over the past 7 months (moving twice, having a new baby a few weeks ago, etc..) Now that summer is here, I started a playgroup with my "teacher" friends (Who I have known since gradeschool) now that they are on vacation. We rotate homes each week...it's been so much fun.
My 26 month old has been a little hard to deal with since having the baby. I "chalk it up" to the baby, but I also want to "blame" my sons bahavior on being 2 and being a boy AND being a kid. When we get to playgroup, my son wants the toys that other kids are playing with, and has this new "habit" of "hugging" kids, but then falls to the ground with them <still hugging>. I know he is doing this delibreatly and to get attention. When I see him not sharing, or pushing, etc...I immediatly address the situation by showing him something else he can play with, a time out or leaving if it seems to be habitual. I am NOT allowing this bahavior to go unnoticed. I am very frusterated by his bahavior and am eager to find solutions or something else I can do to remedy this.
Well..my one friend did not go to playgroup today due to my son. I was not aware that my sons behavior was enough for someone to not attend our playdate. Everyone in the group knew what was going on except me. I am hurt by that...my one friend (who is sisters with the girl who did not come) said that her 2 year old nephew <who is 3 months older than my son> was "tramatized" by his actions and has been talking about it since our last gathering (two weeks ago). Can a 28 month old really communiate that at that age?
My son is not a "bully" and my other friends think that the mother is coddleing/babying her son. He has "issues" according to them (allergies to everything, speech delay and all around "social" issues, etc.. or to sum it up as my friends say "Her kid is a whimp!" Back in January when we all got together and HER son was "bully" my son, I used that as learning experience and never judged her as a mother/made comments about her son/avoided playdates.....
I feel hurt that she did not address her issues with me...I feel hurt that my good kid has been "labled" a bully b/c he is just being himself at the developmental age that he is.
What would you do? I want to talk to the mother directly and appologize (not sure for what since I apologize when my son bothers her son while we are playing)...at what point do we allow "kids to be kids?" I do not have her phone number (again, sister of a good friend), should I email her? Should I also say something to my good friend for embarrasing me in front of other friends (obviously something she could have said to me in private) or doI I just drop it?
TIA
Re: WWYD? Do I have a right to be upset?
this.
Maybe she just wanted a break. I'd get annoyed if my child was having a crappy time at a playgroup because another kid was too grabby or aggressive. If her child is not enjoying the event, then why should they go?
If I were you I'd drop it. She's totally entitled to participate in the activities of her choice, and she's also entitled to explain to another friend why she's not participating. It would be different if she were lying about you or being malicious, but it seems like she's just being honest, and leaving you out of the loop because to her it may not be worth a confrontation (perhaps she thought you'd be overly defensive of DS's behavior.......hmmn.)
This! If my dd & I weren't having fun doing a playdate I wouldn't go either. I wouldn't want the other mom contacting me about it either to be honest. I would drop it. If she wants to come back to the next one, she will.
If the other boy was freaked out by what happened, even if he wasn't hurt, then yes, I imagine he is still talking about it.
When my DD got bit at daycare at 23mo, she could certainly verbalize "Charlie bite me! Charlie not nice! No Charlie!" Because I heard those things over and over and over for weeks and she'll still bring it up every now and again out of the blue even though it's been 2 months and Charlie hasn't been at daycare for the last month.
Now it's not quite the same because I didn't have a choice about taking her to daycare and Charlie couldn't be avoided... but I certainly would not have put her in an optional situation where she would have had to interact with Charlie (who, BTW, is a good kid and his mom is a good mom, I don't blame them for what happened, but yes I would have avoided them if I could have).