am I overreacting? (re:MIL)

ZacksBride

our nursery was painted this past weekend and our furniture was delivered (yay!).  MIL stopped by sunday night to see how everything looked.  when we were in the room, MH made a comment how now we just need to figure out what to put up on the walls.  MIL replied "oh don't worry, there will be stuff for the walls."  I proceeded to mention some ideas that i have for how to decorate the walls, and again MIL said " well don't buy anything yet.  I'm not going to say anything else, but there will be stuff for the walls, don't worry."

 would you be upset by this?  cause I am!  it's my baby, and i want mh and i to be able to decorate the nursery how we want, not feel obligated to put up something on the walls that we may not even like because MIL got it for us. to me, it sounds like she has already bought something, but she hadn't even seen the color of the room, or the bedding!  i am so upset by this.

am i wrong in wanting MH to say something to MIL about how we were very excited to pick out the nursery decorations for our child, and while we appreciate the thought we would prefer to decorate ourselves? would you be upset by this situation? 

i know i should be gracious of any gift given to us, but i just dont want to feel like i have to use something so visible as wall hangings if i dont like them!

sspyles

Um, I wouldn't be upset, but I would mention that you would rather decorate yourself. It's not worth getting mad about.

SLHurst11

She may have purchased photo frames, which wouldn't interfere much with what you'd like to hang on the walls.  It's quite likely that the color of the room/bedding wouldn't be relevant if that's all she bought.  You never know, so I wouldn't get too riled up about it yet.

An idea: just buy whatever you want anyway.  If she complains, you can just tell her it will be nice to "change the wall hangings every now and then to stimulate baby more."  You can make her hangings/pictures sort of a seasonal thing.

DiscusCoach

I am really bad about avoiding conflict at all costs.

Get the stuff for your walls ASAP! Put it up. Tell your MIL you are done.

How much "wall stuff" could she have anyways? It can't be too much I imagine.

It is rude that she hasn't consulted you. You are right to be offended.

How about saying you were about to order some things and you would like to know what to order and what not to order?

PizzaBride

sspyles:

Um, I wouldn't be upset, but I would mention that you would rather decorate yourself. It's not worth getting mad about.

Ditto.

AMYfromKY

Maybe she is making something?  I personally would want to decorate the nursery myself, but maybe you could wait and see what she is giving you first?  You never know, you could love it.  If you hate it, you can always put it away when your MIL isn't there and just put it out when she visits.

B!tchBeckman

I wouldnt be that upset but I would explain that I would like to see what she had in mind and see if there could be a compromise reached. She's trying to be helpful and is just as excited.

planeNsimple

Honestly you sound really upset by this.  I don't think this is anything to be upset over.  So yes, I think you are over reacting.  However, I don't see anything wrong in your DH calling her up and explaining that.  maybe she just bought one little thing.  Or you just wait to see what she bought you and go from there.  But I wouldn't let this upset you!

kmtfu

i seriously wouldn't get upset about this. it's not like she lives with you. it's your house, your room, so you get to do what you want ultimately.

ayden&sydneysmom

Hmm maybe you should just wait and see if you like what she or others have gotten you.  You never know maybe it is something you've been wanting.  If you don't like what they got then go out and buy what you want.  I learned with our first child to wait and buy things after everyone had given you stuff.  We ended up with so much stuff it was ridiculous and I felt like I wasted a lot of money that could have been used for other things like diapers and wipes.  If I was you I would just wait and see what you get.

FLVintageBride

I wouldn't be mad, per say, but I would make it clear to my MIL that we are going to make all of the final decisions about the nursery decor so if she has something in mind she should come out with it so we can talk about it.

At1stsight

I'm dealing with this with my mom and our son's clothing - you should talk to her directly and tell her, "I got the sense that you'd like to make something for the nursery, and that's really sweet of you, but we're excited to be doing the decorations ourselves. We're happy to include something special from you for our LO but I just wanted to make sure you knew that we're doing our own designing for the walls and decor."

Yeah, she might get huffy, but she'll just have to deal with it. Do it NOW, not later to minimize the time she has to spend making a ton of stuff she wants you to include.

ZacksBride

thanks girls. i guess i do sound really upset in the post - i think i sound more upset than i really am.  i am just excited to decorate the nursery with mh, and was very surprised by her comments.  i thought about only putting up said items when she is around if i don't like it, but she lives 15 minutes from us, so is over a fair amount.  i really don't want to offend her, we normally get along great, so i'd hate for this to cause a rift.

Prinycesa07

Yes i do think you are overreacting.  If you dont like what she gets then just tell her that you would rather decorate yourself. Its really not that big a deal to get mad about.