Isn't Ferber supposed to get better? — The Bump
D.C. Area Babies

Isn't Ferber supposed to get better?

We've been Ferberizing for 12 nights, and lately her crying ranges from 10 minutes to 45 minutes.  (This is better than 2 hours.)  Last night was 35 minutes of terrorized wailing.

We do the same routine every night at the same time.  And she is in bed at 8pm - when she falls asleeps depends on how long she cries.  And we also have to do it most early, early mornings.  Typical morning example:  she woke today up at 4:30.  I fed her since she hadn't eaten even since 7pm. She is WIDE awake - wants to talk and crawl.  I put her back to bed and she cries herself to sleep for another 30 minutes.  Sleeps for an hour.  Back awake.  If you take out the crying, it's maybe 9 hours sleep.

When is she going to learn how to sleep without over an hour of wailing every night?  We don't even try it with naps.  She'll cry the whole time (even Ferber says to pick her up if she cries at naps for an hour).

Who said babies sleep 14 hours a day? 

Re: Isn't Ferber supposed to get better?

  • My baby doesn't sleep 12-14hrs at night.  She goes to bed between 10-11, and wakes up at around 7.  I think she takes a kind of long morning nap around 9 or 9:30?

    I figure that if she's tired, she'll sleep.

    NestBaby Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I have no advice, we start Ferberizing in 3 weeks. I just wanted to say I'm sorry it's not going well.

    14hrs? ha!!

  • I know nothing about Ferberizing...I never got to that book. But have you tried not giving her the early morning feeding and just trying to get her to go back to sleep? Is it possible that feeding her is waking her up more? At 9 months it seems like she should be able to go all night without eating.
  • image bh2720:
    But have you tried not giving her the early morning feeding and just trying to get her to go back to sleep? Is it possible that feeding her is waking her up more? At 9 months it seems like she should be able to go all night without eating.

    Well by 4:30am, it was 9 1/2 hours since she last ate and that's a pretty long time for a mostly BF baby.  Plus she was already wide awake when I picked her up.  She'd been sniffling for at least 10 minutes.

  • Oh gosh, I totally sympathize.  We've been doing sleep training (following HSHHC) for 11 nights now and it still sucks.  H still wakes 2- 3 times a night and cries, though usually no longer than 30 min.  It is awful. 

    Have you tried putting B to bed even earlier?  H started sleeping better w/an earlier bed time. For us, early to bed really does = late to rise.  Crazy, but true.  Sorry I don't have any better advice.

  • J, Have you tried other sleep methods? Maybe Ferber just doesn't work for B?  We Ferberized, but it took a lot less time and even the first night was under an hour total.  I think Ferber is founded on the idea that babies have to get that last little bit of energy out in order to be ready for sleep but if B isn't just getting her last bit of energy out and is truly upset,  maybe you should try something else ... unfortunately, I have nothing else to suggest since we have had a good sleeper and Ferber worked for us. 

    Just keep in mind that every person is different, so every baby will be different - Alyssa sleeps 13 hours at night and takes 2 naps during the day bringing her total sleep for the day to 15 hours +, but that's her, other babies may not need that much sleep (and to be fair, I also require a lot of sleep, 8 hours a night doesn't cut it for me).  I don't know what to suggest, but I feel for you and know that you and B will work something out!

  • I was also going to suggest putting her to bed earlier.  N goes to bed between 6 and 6:30 just about every night.  He'll sleep until the 2-3 range, where I'll go in and 'nurse' him (I don't think he's getting much of anything since he's weaned during the day) and then he'll sleep until the 6-6:30 time frame in the morning.

    She may be overtired thus making it harder for her to fall asleep.  This is one of the main premises of HSHHC.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker TTC #1 Cycle #18 m/c Jan. 9, 2007, chemical pg May 4, 2007, methotrexate shot Oct. 5, 2007--m/c Oct. 9, 2007, IUI Nov. 17, 2007 It worked! beta 11/30 & 12/6 TTC #2 Cycle #5 IUI July 20, 2009 -BFN 8-3-09 Cycle #6 IUI August 17, 2009-BFP! 8-31-09, beta 9-1-09, 9-8-09, saw the H/B 9-22-09 EDD 5-10-10
  • I don't even usually get home from work until 6-6:30.  WAAAAH!  I'd never see my baby.  And I usually start the feeding, bath, and bed routine as soon as I get home.
  • image barkers4jmm:
    I don't even usually get home from work until 6-6:30.  WAAAAH!  I'd never see my baby.  And I usually start the feeding, bath, and bed routine as soon as I get home.

    This is precisely why my baby goes to bed between 10-11.  :)

    Sometimes, she takes a quick nap at around 7 or 8, but, only if she falls asleep on her own.

    In opposition to other pp's, maybe you could try a later bedtime?  ;)

    NestBaby Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Crazy, we were getting her to sleep later  - 9:30-10 before Ferbering.  She is definitely already tired b/c she fights naps and will fall asleep on me in the evenings.  Arg - this is so frustrating!  And I'm exhausted from all these 4:30 wakeups.

  • DH doesn't see N at all execpt for the weekends and the mornings.  He gets up with N when he wakes up in the 6-6:30 time frame and usually comes and gets me around 7-7:30.  I understand not seeing her much, but I would seriously give it a try and see if she goes down easier earlier.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker TTC #1 Cycle #18 m/c Jan. 9, 2007, chemical pg May 4, 2007, methotrexate shot Oct. 5, 2007--m/c Oct. 9, 2007, IUI Nov. 17, 2007 It worked! beta 11/30 & 12/6 TTC #2 Cycle #5 IUI July 20, 2009 -BFN 8-3-09 Cycle #6 IUI August 17, 2009-BFP! 8-31-09, beta 9-1-09, 9-8-09, saw the H/B 9-22-09 EDD 5-10-10
  • D - we're going to try putting her down earlier tonight.  Hope to get home a little earlier too.  I know the other problem is naps - or lack there of.  I was reading some more of HSHHC last night. 

    Actually I have every book - Ferber, HSHHC, Sleep Lady, Baby Whisperer, Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems, No Cry Sleep Solution, Supernanny lady, and STTN...And Other Lies (it's more tongue and cheek).  I'm so freaking confused b/c they're all different.

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