Effing MIL- do they even listen, long vent, you can skip if you want
Last night my DH and I went to a concert and my mom was coming over around 6:30-7:00 to watch hunter and my MIL was going to watch him until my mom arrived. My mom works from home and wanted to come here, take hunter for a walk and give him dinner and put him to bed as she rarely gets to do that. Typically when she watches him, it is during the day so she may take him for a short walk but then has to get back to get work done, so she is unable to spend alone quality time with hunter. well last night, she babysat hunter and she, my MIL, and my nephew (on my DH's side) went for a walk and my MIL told my mom that Hunter already ate dinner and my mom said: Oh, you fed him dinner, I thought elizabeth told you i was going to, but it was not in a mean or offensive way, it was more of a questiony way. I told my MIL that Hunter ate plenty yesterday and that if he did the more sign, he is just doing it to do it (if i say the word more while standing around car tires, he will do the sign because he knows the word) but I told my MIL he was fed and that my mom was going to come over to feed him, put him to bed and all that stuff. My MIL said she could feed him and i specifically told her, no thats ok, my mom wants to do it as she never really gets too and that if he does the more sign, it is because he is just doing it and is not really hungry (trust me, he ate ALL day before we left). but now my MIL has hurt feelings because of what my mom said, but she effing feeds him all the time. she will come get him around 6:00 to "spend" time with him (AKA feed him) and then brings him back an hour later saying, he was sooooo hungry, i had to feed him so dont worry about giving him dinner, he is probably ready for bed....ummm, b*tch, thats my job. In the past, she would feed him anything and at least she finally listened to me and only feeds him healthy things and I do appreciate all the help she gives me, but why did she not listen to me, especially yesterday and now has her feelings hurts pisses me off because she could have just listened to what i asked and there would have been no problem and my mom would have been able to feed her 1st grandson and have her quality time with him. My MIL lives literally right across the street so she gets to see him more and my mom wants that alone time with him. Now my MIL is all sad and told my DH she just wont ever feed him, which is not the point, the point is specifically the situation from last night. but my DH is mad at me and does not listen and did not realize what i told his mom last night which she completely ignored. I just want him on a consistent eating schedule and really, my DH's 10 year old nephew is 170 lbs and i just do not want that to happen to hunter and it just pisses me off and to top it off, i can't say anything to her today because it is her bday and plus, its n ot like she is going to listen anyway. I dont want to sound all bitter and mean, because when i was dealing with post-partum depression, my mom and MIL really helped me, but i can do this. oh and on a side note, my MIL is raising both her grandsons, not hunter of course, not because my SIL can't but because I do not think she is able to let go and let her daughter raise her children and I feel like she may see me like i am incompetent and can't do it either so she feels the need to take over. i just do not know what to say or do, but i just needed to vent.
Re: Effing MIL- do they even listen, long vent, you can skip if you want
Someday, my children will get married and part of me looks forward to that day because I can't wait to see the MIL handbook. ? ?I swear they are under some kind of blood oath to be a PIA.
Well, except Josies MIL. ?I am going to ask her to adopt Nico. ?
How frustrating
Your last paragraph about your SIL also scares me because my mom sounds so similar to your MIL.
Well the main reason that MIL started taking care of my SIL kids was because a few years ago, like 5 or 6, my SIL was on drugs and could not take care of her kids, she could barely care for herself, but now she is doing much better and its like, she could be a great mom if she was given the chance, but since my MIL does not want to seem to let go (even though she complains about having to raise them yet does nothing to fix the situation) my SIL is stuck in this habit of doing what she wants and my MIL is enabling her to not be a mom. its just a mess. but i figure, over the next few days, i have a pretty easy schedule and I am just not going to let her watch him and let her realize and figure it out why i am pissed. my DH wont back me up, all he says is he will call her over so we can talk about it, but then she will hate me for bringing to light the truth that i know she does not want to hear. but enough of it, i am over it, i am a darn good mommy and my MIL will listen to what I say when it comes to Hunter or she wont see him, plain and simple.