Stay at Home Moms
Scared to Breast-Feed
I do plan on exclusively breast-feeding our baby (on the way). However, I'm really terrified of the prospect of breast-feeding. It seems like it will hurt...somehow seems unnatural to me, even though obviously it's the most natural thing in the world. I'm not sure I'll be able to - what if I'm one of those people who can't get the baby to latch? It's just...scary!
Did anyone else experience these feelings about breast-feeding before you began and got over it?
TIA.
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Re: Scared to Breast-Feed
BFing seemed a bit strange to me to before I had DD. After delivery, though, any sort of reservations you had/have about your body go out the window. You'll let anyone check your stitches or whatever they need to do. I found BFing to be similar. It was important for me to feed my baby so I really looked at BFing as just another part of my life. But hey, it's certainly not for everyone. I agree with PP that taking a class will certainly help.
Also- you'll find some great answers here on this board because everyone on here is so nice, but there is a bfing board that you can ask questions to as well.
With my first baby, I hated it. My nipples were cracked and bleeding at one point because she wasn't latching correctly. I gave up after 5 very long painful weeks!
However, I thought I would give it another try for my second and I am going on 7 months and I LOVE IT! It is so convenient and my baby hasn't gotten sick or anything. My other daughter was sick a few times by now. It doesn't hurt this time either and I think it is all due to the fact that my 2nd daughter is a pro at it.
So, try it out and see how it goes. :0)
Have you considered a non-hospital breastfeeding class? What I mean is, a class perhaps given by a midwife or lactation consultant or Le Leche League leader? (my opinion only: I think the hosptial ones are skewed to promote formula use because the hosptials are in cahoots with the formula companies - proof positive is they give out Similac diaper bags, samples, etc)
If that isn't available to you (the class) perhaps contact a LLL leader to have a meeting - they're SUPER nice and very friendly. They can give you a real-world perspective on what its going to be like and also be there once the baby arrives to assist you in the transition to successful breastfeeding.
Are you delivering with an OB or midwife? Have you considered a doula who also is a lactation consultant or has breastfed her own children?
There are sooooooooooooooooooo many options out there for you (I didn't look where you're located but even if you're in the sticks of the back woods of the unheard of town, there are options!).
Some resources for you:
https://www.llli.org/
kellymom.com
Call your local hospitals or, preferably, birthing centers (if they have them in your state) and ask about breastfeeding support groups. It may sound silly to you but they are AWESOME! A group of women out for the same cause and experiencing the same-ish journey - very empowering!
I was nervous that we'd have problems with latch, pain, etc but I was one of the lucky ones who didn't have any issues. ?It was one of my most favorite parts of the first 6 months. ?I'm just now working on weaning - crazy how quickly it goes.
I would recommend the book "So that's what they're for" as well as the websites that PP suggested.
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This may not help you, but I had the same worries about breast-feeding before my baby was born. To be completely honest, I am extremely sensitive, and I worried that it would be too painful. When my daughter was born, we tried and tried to breastfeed in the hospital, but we could not get it right, and I was in agony every time we tried. Some people may look down upon it, but my husband and I decided that breastfeeding was not for us. I was just not comfortable with it, and I didn't want feedings to be painful for me or my daughter. I thought it wouldn't be healthy if my daughter could sense that I was in pain, or hesitant about nursing. We started her on formula in the hospital, and she is a perfectly healthy 14 month old now. I don't regret using formula one bit.
I tell you all of this, because society today really pressures young mothers to breastfeed. My husband had to argue with the nurses to get them to even bring us the formula for our baby. They just kept fighting us saying they could send in another lactation consultant. I had seen like 4 of them already.
If you are able to breastfeed, then that is wonderful. I have nothing against breastfeeding. Just know that if you are not comfortable with it, there is absolutely nothing wrong with formula feeding either.
I won't lie, it does hurt in the beginning, but if you have all the "tools" to help you get through it, you will be fine.
When DD went to latch, I would take a deep breath, count to 10 while exhailing, and that was when the pain would stop. This relaxation technique helped me throught he pain part. Soothies, helped me through the other. Target sells them with the breast pump stuff, you will not regret having them!
The only reason I was nervous about BFing was because I was over-informed-- basically, I had read too much about all the things that could go wrong "just in case". For me, BFing was really easy. It hurt like hell the first 2 weeks (as in, swearing under my breath and sometimes tears) but once my milk really came in everything was fine. Didn't hurt at all. I just use Lansinoh cream from time to time to keep my nipples in good shape. She is 3 months so far and I've exclusively BFed with no problems. Good luck!
Go to a La Leche League meeting! Go to several before your DC is born.
This was SO helpful to me because I was... Seeing people BF. Hearing them talk about it. Hearing their issues and their solutions. Learning what to do, what I wanted to try.
Plus, if you have any questions or issues later, you can call them and ask and it's easier to ask really personal questions like that if you've already heard them talk about other personal things.
And for the record, it does NOT hurt everyone. I had a sharp sensation when DD was newborn, but I never had the pain that some experience (no bleeding, no cracked nipples, no mastitis, only some mild soreness). I only point that out because I think it's nice to know that a horrible start is not guaranteed.
Ok, I'm answering this post and have been sitting here for about 10 minutes trying to reword things so they don't come off as "high and mighty" or anything like that. I never had any issues with breast-feeding so I feel like everything I say seems like it could offend someone. I will try to answer and hopefully it will not come off as offensive to any who were unable to BF.
Everyone told me when I was pregnant that I was going to have so much trouble BFing and that you had to really want to do it to be successful. I was lucky enough that DD is a little piglet and never had any issues with BFing. On the other hand, my best friend couldn't get her DS to latch. She had to bottle feed him at the hospital and really struggled to get the BFing down. The good news is that she was eventually able to BF and did so until her DS was about 6 months old.
I think the most important thing to remember is that it is not easy for everyone. Sometimes people do have problems with getting their LOs to latch, but there will be lactation consultants on hand at the hospital to help you and you can always call La Leche League.
Yes. What helped me was taking a breastfeeding class. I felt more confident that I could do it successfully after taking the class.
As you said, it is not unnatural. Our society is so twisted and wicked these days that what's right is made to seem wrong.
In the beginning breastfeeding does hurt. It stopped hurting for me after the first 7 weeks and it is very much worth it.
Best wishes to you.