Working Mom Guilt- How do you deal?

happytobemrs.m

Today, I was grabbing a quick bite with a co-worker and our office is in a town center where there is a fountain and outside seating. Well a couple of moms sat next to us with their babies, probably 8-10 months old each and I had this gut wrenching feeling of missing my baby. I know that will come and go- but I couldn't help but feel a bit jealous of them just being able to enjoy a nice day with their baby. I typically don't get home until 6:30 and DD is in bed by 8:30 or 9. I am sure I should be grateful because I have a great job/career with a good salary and benefits etc and perhaps I even get to see my baby more than some, but I still felt like total sh*t. How do you deal with these feelings?

DAuger

I constantly feel guilty that I'm not 100% home all the time with DS. I feel terrible when I get home and am exhausted from a full day of work and it seems like I don't have as much energy as he deserves.

AlisaS

Feeling guilty over something like this is wasting your time and energy. You don't know what those women's lives are like.

Why do it?  Embrace your life and be happy and confident in your choices. If you are, your child will be, too.

mclaugaa

I tell myslef that DS is napping the whole time I am at work. Which is kinda true, he naps 5-6 hours a day

happytobemrs.m

AlisaS:

Feeling guilty over something like this is wasting your time and energy. You don't know what those women's lives are like.

Why do it?  Embrace your life and be happy and confident in your choices. If you are, your child will be, too.

I couldn't agree more.

kate081206

There are pros and cons to working.  For me, I tell myself that the pros outweigh the cons.

Pesky

kate081206:

There are pros and cons to working.  For me, I tell myself that the pros outweigh the cons.

Ditto this.   I think back to the early days of my ML when I quickly recognized how hard it is to be a SAHM.  Truthfully, I enjoy working and am a better mom for being able to do so.  While I'd prefer to be PT, that's just not feasible at this juncture.  Instead I hope to be PT when DD is 9 or 10, can get into REAL trouble and being around more would be better for her then.  With a long-term goal like that, it helps me keep plugging along.

shouldbeworkin

I used to feel the same way when I'd run out to a Target near my work on my lunch hour.  Then they opened up another one that was far less popular with the moms with kids.  That helped a lot!  lol.

I try to avoid places where moms and kids hang out on my lunch hour.  It really does make me wish my kids where there.  At the same time, it is really nice to eat a meal or run an errand in peace, too. 

smiley007

AlisaS:

Feeling guilty over something like this is wasting your time and energy. You don't know what those women's lives are like.

Why do it?  Embrace your life and be happy and confident in your choices. If you are, your child will be, too.

I agree! I need to keep telling myself this though, I've only been back to work a week!

duchess0727

I deal with them by reminding myself that I have plenty of friends that SAH and none of there kids are as happy as mine and none of them are happier than I am.  I wrote this post last week https://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/17851831.aspx and that's what I think of when I miss my kids when I'm at work.

yellowcar

AlisaS:

Feeling guilty over something like this is wasting your time and energy. You don't know what those women's lives are like.

Why do it?  Embrace your life and be happy and confident in your choices. If you are, your child will be, too.

This.

I don't get too hung up on the mommy guilt because I know that we don't have any other options.  I also make up for it evenings and weekends--my family gets 100% of my time and energy then.