I'm a lurker, I've never posted on here so TIA!
I never, ever, ever, thought I would want to stay home. Everything changed when I had my DS. My DH would be totally fine with me SH, the problem is $$$. Did any of you give up a large income to stay home and as a result have to majorly adjust your lifestyle? If I quit, we will be able to pay our bills - that's it. There won't be money for going out to eat, shopping, etc. I will also probably have to get a part time job to supplement. I guess I am asking, if this was the situation for your family, was it worth it?
Re: SAHMs who sacrificed a lot to do so....COME IN!
I left a large salary behind.
I still WAH- however its not my old salary
you really just need to weigh things out. things went okay after i got adjusted to it. DH doesn't seem to mind leaving behind certain things, either. you adapt. For me- (for now) it was worth it.
When I started staying at home, it cut our income by about 40%. ?Here's the thing though- we started our marriage with debt (DH cc's and my student loans) and we spend the first 1 1/2 years living modestly so that we could pay all of the credit card and as much of the student loans as possible off. ?So since so much of my income was already going towards debt paydown and savings buildup it wasn't a gigantic adjustment when I quit to SAH. ?
However. ?Just as PP said, when you make a choice like that you have no money for any extra, which is tough. ?We eat out twice a month, and we have to keep it under $10 a trip. ?We don't have any money to do activities like gym, zoo, or any other "membership" type stuff. ?DH took a side job for a bit to pay for this season's swim lessons. ?We don't shop for clothes, and rely on handmedowns for DD (praise the Lord we have friends with older toddler girls!) ?I'm taking a side job for a week in July so that we can pay off a few "unexpected" bills. ?But we live this tightly so that we can still fund what's important - good health insurance, IRA contribution, keeping our savings, two cars, and a hobby motorcycle for DH. ?
Despite all of this, it is COMPLETELY worth it to both DH and I. ?We don't stress about $$ (or try not to) because in our case we feel certain that God called us to make this move as a family and that He provided a way for us to do it, albeit a bit uncomfortable for a season. ?Our feelings are that we sat down, planned as much as we could financially, figured out we could make it work, took the plunge- and now it's up to us to be good stewards of our finances so that we can continue making it work. ?We have faith that even when unexpected expenses come up, there will be a way to take care of it (that doesn't require charging it on a card). ?
For me, I would much rather spend my days loving on my daughter than work away from her just so that we can eat out more often and wear designer clothes.
We cut our family income by about 40% when we decided I'd stay home. My husband makes enough for us to make ends meet and save/invest a bit for later but not a lot more - we probably have $150 left a month we can use for extras (like entertainment, clothes for baby, eating out, etc.) This was a big change from before, since my entire salary was available for "fun" money.
We had paid off all our debt before our son arrived, so that definitely helped! It would have been much harder for me to stay at home if we hadn't done that.
While it's been a financial adjustment and I definitely have to be careful about what I spend, it's been more than worth it.
I am not the kind of person that engages in the Mommy Wars - there are lots of wonderful moms that I aspire to be like that work and lots who stay home. Your decision to work out of the home does not affect your ability to parent well, IMO. But, if staying at home feels important to you, I think almost any family can find a way to make it work financially.
Good luck!
I left a decent salary. We do not have a lot of extra $, but it is still 100% worth it for me. I love being w/ DS full time. These amazing years fly by so fast. I want to enjoy them as much as possible, not stress about work, rush around every morning/night, have so little time w/ DS before bed, etc. I don't think I would ever look back at this time and wish I had worked more.
Plus, for us, it is only temporary. I will go back to work at some point, probably when the youngest is in school.
My salary wasn't that huge, but losing it still had a big effect on our finances. We ended up deciding to move to an area with a cheaper cost of living a few hours away, even though we had to leave our family and friends. Is that an option for you?
In the 3 1/2 years since I quit working, we've really had to tighten our budget, but to me it's totally worth it. I've come to value spending time with my kids over all the things we used to spend money on. I haven't regretted my decision for an instant!
Good luck!
DD, 1/7/05 * DS #1, 1/25/07 * DS #2, 11/11/09
Baby #4, EDD 11/11/12
m/c 7/30/08 at 12 weeks (blighted ovum, emergency D&C)
I left a six figure salary to stay home with our five children. It has been very hard, because I was raised to never be dependent on a man. Plus, like you said, we have money to pay bills. That's it. We used to live fairly extravagantly, when we were both making really good salaries. I could buy pretty much whatever I wanted when I wanted, we went out to eat all the time, I had a maid, etc. Now? That's all gone.
That said, it IS worth it. I get to be with my baby all day every day - which can be hard, but is also really rewarding. My older children know I'm going to be here before and after school, and there is security in that, and in knowing what they're doing. I don't have to worry about my teenagers bringing boys home, or doing things on the internet they shouldn't - because I'm here and can see what they're doing.
Plus, they've told their friends we're cool because we hang out with them all the time. Wonder how long they'll actually continue to like that? LOL.
This was extraordinairily encouraging me. I will be a SAHM and feel like i'm one right now, as my boyfriend is providing for us. I am looking for part-time work and feeling at a loss right now- who would hire a 6 month along pregnant lady? Any job suggestions would be great. I do know God is providing for us and always gives a way out.
Worleygirl--I private message'd you.
My new "mom" blog: http://realityofamommy.blogspot.com
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