2nd Trimester

co-hosting my own shower?

My best friend from college is throwing my shower, but since getting married I have a whole other set of friends that I want at my shower. So my best friend who doesn't know them very well asked if I would co-host and help her plan the shower. My mom thought that it was tacky to help throw my own shower. But if I left it up to my friend to do it all on her own it would end up like my bachelorette party and just be the 2 of us. Plus we want to throw it at my house which is centrally located for everyone. 

What are your thoughts? I'm only going to be involved in the background stuff like picking invites and games, not really "hosting" the shower.  

Re: co-hosting my own shower?

  • I don't think there is anything wrong with helping her out.  I wouldn't put hosted by Salena M on the invitation or anything though!
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  • Personally I'd keep any co-hosting on the DL. Could you make it look like DH/FI/BF was in on the planning with your friend instead of you?
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  • I don't think you should co-host.  Maybe your mom could help out your friend?
  • i dont really consider that co-hosting, just picking out things you like. doesnt sound like a big deal. just make sure you only put her as the host on the invite.
  • I think you can help her, but do not annonce anywhere that you are throwing your own shower.
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  • Can your mom co-host? Or can you be a silent co-host and help? I agree it is a little tacky, so I would try to find a way to include everyone without putting your name on it.
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  • imageAMYfromKY:
    I don't think there is anything wrong with helping her out.  I wouldn't put hosted by Salena M on the invitation or anything though!

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  • imageAMYfromKY:
    I don't think there is anything wrong with helping her out.  I wouldn't put hosted by Salena M on the invitation or anything though!

    Ditto.  I am helping my mom plan my shower, but she will be listed as the host on the invite.   

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  • That's what I'm doing. Not necessarily hosting as much as planning. I don't think it's tacky.
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  • Leave her mentioned as host,and stay the silent partner.

     You can help give input and have it at your house- it's convenient that way, presents already where they should go, and you can show off what work you've already done to baby's room.

    I don't asee it as you helping 'host' the shower if she is just asking for input on what you'd like.

     

  • imageAMYfromKY:
    I don't think there is anything wrong with helping her out.  I wouldn't put hosted by Salena M on the invitation or anything though!

    Agreed.  I think that many women help plan, at least to the extent of giving  a list of guests they would like to have, picking a date, and location, etc.

  • Helping to get a guest list together and allowing the shower to be at your house isn't exactly what I'd call co-hosting.  As long as your name isn't on the invitation as a hostess then it's not really going to appear tacky.

    I'd probably draw the line at doing much more than offering a guest list and my home though.  Maybe just talking to your friend about food, theme, etc. but you really shouldn't be doing any of the actual planning.

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  • I agree with Amy, don't put your name on the invite, but it's just nice of you to help your friend out with the planning.

    I also don't think there's anything wrong with it being at your home - mine is going to be here also. My mom just had to have my sister's bridal shower at her house 2 months ago and isn't up to have another big gathering right now. Plus we won't have to haul stuff home which is just a bonus. 

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  • Sure, just don't call it co-hosting! :)
  • I dont consider this co-hosting. I see nothing wrong with you helping out, especially since its alot of people that the host doenst know. But DO NOT put anything on the invite that you are actually a host. Just keep that part to yourselves and make it look like she did everything.
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  • EMTXEMTX member

    Agree with PP, helping out with the guest list or things is not a big deal, but it is definitely not a good idea to make it known that you are hosting.

    Etiquette is actually that family members shouldn't even throw showers - I know that lots of people do this now - Moms, Sisters, etc., but technically even that is considered a little tacky - apparently it's like your family is trying to get you gifts.

    GL!


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  • my mom isn't in to hosting a shower for just my friends, she thinks that I should INVITE everyone. I would prefer having a friends shower and a family shower. I just wanted to have a simple fun shower for my friends and I. Its really informal, its co-ed and everything. My bestfriend and I decided it would be more like a shower for the girls and a BBQ for the guys.  

     

  • Why does your best friend expect to know every single person she's inviting to the shower?  I'd just give her the list of names/addresses so she can send the invites. 

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