sleeping habits
CesEve99
member
hello girls - i have been mia due to mady's ear tube surgery. everything went as planned and thank god its over with...my daughter is quite the trooper 
i wanted to update you guys on the sleeping habits that i posted last week. for those of you that think that your child can not take you for a ride - think again...
i have cut down the rocking to 10 minutues while reading her a book. i then lay her in her crib while patting her butt until she falls asleep. doesnt work. she is up the whole time, and will turn her head to see if i am still there. if i take my hands off of her, she turns around in fear that i am gone out of the room.
i have taken away the afternoon nap - now she only naps once a day around noon, usually lasting about 1.5-2 hrs. you think by 8:30pm she would be exhausted, but no. on some days it still takes 30 minutes or more to get her to go to bed. on the days that i am out and about and she is in the car and she falls asleep (after taking her noon nap) well those days take me past 11pm to get her to go to bed. obviously there is nothing i can do to keep her up if she is sleeping in the car. even a 10 min cat nap in the car can prolong the bed time routine.
on the days that she falls asleep fine, she is still up by 3am. she is up crying wanting to get picked up. the crying is so bad, almost as if she sees herself alone in the middle of the night in the dark.
i have only done cio in spans of 5 min each time, i do not have the heart to ferber or cio longer than that. i have run out of ideas. this week was not a good week to keep trying on the sleeping habits since she had her surgery on monday i wanted to make sure she was not in any pain due to that. yesterday she woke up at 4am, i went to counsole her, she reached out to me, i picked her up, took her to our bed (b/c i had to work today) and my daughter took off her pacifier, smiled at me, snuggled up with me, put the paci back on, and fell back asleep.
if thats not seperation anxiety i dont know what is.
(thanks to givi for asking about us....givi i have a white noise machine, at this point its not the answer to our problems)
Re: sleeping habits
I am so sorry you're going through this Evelyn =( I have the hardest time with cio too and when I do try it, it doesn't work too well for Riley or me. I wish I had some advice for you but it sounds like you're already trying out different methods-maybe this is just a phase that she'll grow out of.
On the plus side-it sounds like Mady's surgery went well! How is she feeling?
thanks jen! mady has NEVER had any bad sleeping habits - while she was a newborn she was sttn 13-14 hrs straight - so this getting up in the middle of the night screaming is something very new to me. i really do think its seperation anxiety at this point. the surgery went real well - lasted about 10 min and the recovery at home was a breeze. the recovery after the surgery in the hospital was not something i would like to remember but she took it like a champ! at this point she is 100% recovered and i hope to god there will be no more ear infections in our future!
how is miss riley?
you know what lauren, i may tape a picture of us inside her crib somewhere. she has a play photo album that i send with her to her nanny's house but maybe taping a picture of us inside her crib will relieve her? thanks for the idea!
ugh i know i know...but its easier said than done. dh is out of the house by 4am so its just me alone with her and the days that i work its not easy i tell ya!
I'm sorry, we are in the same boat. Since we arrived, Ayden has been going to sleep anywhere from 9pm-12am. This child has some energy that I only wish I had. Same thing, I rock him but only 5mins. then once I put him in his crib he's up again jumping all around the crib. He doesn't cry it's more like a high pitch whine and it's annoying. What haven't I tried? I'm currently trying to wean him off the paci, he's not using it to sleep but wakes up around 3am making noise to get it, I've tried ignoring it, but when he can do it for over 40mins. mommy just has to give in and get some sleep.
I hope it gets better for us all soon.
we've had a bed time routine since she was 3 mths old....we have always taken turn with her - i honestly think its a phase at this age
UGH, I'm sorry. This part sucks! I know. lol. All I can offer is to hang in there because it does get better. You will find that you already do most of what is recommended out there (night light, bedtime routine, etc.) Is there any way you can move up her bedtime to 8:30/9? Most of the books I've read say that kids shouldn't have a bedtime past 9, BUT then again, we all have to mold it to our schedule. We go to sleep early (DH has to be up by 5 and he needs sleep, so we're in bed by 9), so for us, setting an early bedtime was easy.
I will tell you that we're not doing the CIO method per se because, like you, it's really only me. DH needs to sleep so he'll take the easy way out to get sleep. The kids are def manipulative but the reasoning behind that can be varried. Sometimes it's fears, sometimes it's separation anxiety, sometimes it's both. I will tell you that w/L it's both. Through different trials and errors, we've realized he's afraid of being closed in his room (even w/night light) and actually, he's a little afraid of the nite lite too. He's more at ease when the door's open, so we've been leaving it and our door open.
I will also tell you that we've made improvements since last posted. We no longer have to rock L. He goes in his bed and gets comfy, both for nap and night. We still have to stay in his room, though, and he's still waking up. I read an article in one of the Parenting mags that had an approach both DH and I liked, so we started two nights ago. In a nutshell, it's this:
-sleep in DCs room for a couple nights to sort of "reset" child going into parent's room. (we set up an air bed).
-after that, sit in room while DC falls asleep (no rocking, no patting, nada).
-after a couple nights, move your location to the door, then the hallway, till ultimately your room.
The idea is that you remove yourself from the child slowly.
I'll tell you (gee I seem to be starting too often with this lol sorry) that last night, L almost fell asleep w/out DH or me there, and he didn't cry. When he wakes up at night, he doesn't cry, just calls out and I quietly remind him to go back to sleep. He doesn't fuss. Yesterday for nap, he woke up after an hour and a half, crying, and I didn't go in his room, just called from where he could see me that I was there, and he went back to sleep on his own. This, my friend, is improvement! On DHs days off, we're going to move to the next level and ease our way out. I'll update you how that goes.
It's def a phase, and there are def different approaches. Some will take longer, I'm sure, but only you can figure out which one is best for you and your family!
Oh yes. I remember trying this technique - sitting on the floor so Eli would see me, no eye contact and don't say a word, moving closer and closer to the door - I think I saw this on Super Nanny LOL!! It does work.
I hope Mady is feeling better!!!! Hopefully the surgery did the trick!!!
Your scenario is EXACTLY what Mikey has been doing!!! I bought the Homedics white noise machine and it helps a little bit (I think it helps me and dh more that Mikey since it's all i hear through the baby monitor
)
I hope this situation gets fixed quick..i don;t know how much more of this i can put up with..its been 6 months!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I 100% agree with Sam. CIO does suck, but going in there every 5 or 10 minutes like Ferber suggests only makes separation anxiety worse because they get to see you and then you leave the room again which brings on a whole new bout of crying.
For over 6 months now Nicholas has gone through several phases where he does not want me to leave the room (usually they occur when his teeth are bothering him). He will happily fall asleep on my shoulder and be out cold with his mouth hanging open, but the minute I put him down he is standing up and clawing at me to stay with him. It breaks my heart to pry his hands off of me and leave the room, but that is the ONLY way to get him to go to sleep.
The first few nights of CIO are rough...we're talking maybe an hour or more of crying, but after that 5-10 minutes is usually the max.
OH my goodness Eve- this is so hard for parents! It was horrible for us as well. I cried the entire time! Mario and I wanted to just super glue Gaby to our bed and have her sleep there FOR EVER! You are doing what is best for Mady and it might seen impossible but it's do-able! I think since she got her surgery, (Thank God that turned out well) maybe that will help with her sleeping. You can do it, just hang in there!
Oh- and if I may just give you a spec of the future, Gaby will sometimes snuggle herself on our bed! If I can take a picture of all 4 of us on the bed I would! Poor Mario is sleeping by the footboard with his feet hanging, Gaby is somewhere by Alejandro and he is right next to me, where I'm hanging on the EDGE of the bed!