my 2 cents: was I really that wrong???
ANJ410:
Lauren, I definitely agree with you that it is totally tacky and classless to ask for money on a public message board, however Gretel was asking for donations to be made to a fund set up for her relative. It's not like she was asking people to send her cash to use for herself. If someone were to make a post asking people to donate to a fund that was set up to help local hurricane victims, would that be taken as begging for charity??
If people want to give, let them. If not, move on to the next post.
I just got home from my cousin's funeral so once again this is an emotional time for me but I just feel it needs to be said...
THANK YOU Andrea! you stated that exactly how I would have if I had not been both physically and emotionally exhausted. That was my exact point!!! Our community (hispanic south florida that watches america teve channel 41) has really been wonderful to my family, we have even had several people who have called the tv station to offer counceling for my cousin...now if we didn't ask for help would that have happened??? most of the costs have been covered by donations and they are still luckily coming in so my cousin will be able to take some time to take care of himself before starting his new job, which is also waiting for him.
for those that felt I was being inappropriate well....you have no idea what you would do in my situation so don't presume to understand. I never expected to be bashed on here. I do not agree with the way whoever that person was that was defended me at all. and Lauren if you really don't care for me well hey that's life. I appreciate your thoughts and prayers anyway.
THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO HAS HELPED ME THROUGH EVERYTHING! your thoughts and prayers for my family have made a huge difference with both my cousin and Julian.
Re: my 2 cents: was I really that wrong???
I think for the most part many Nesties were ambivilent about the recent drama until the troll poster showed up and begged for attention. Until then most people ignored your original post - whether they they thought it was right or wrong that you posted it. I personally cannot speak for everyone but while I felt bad for the situation your family was in, I was in no position to assist as I and my close family and friends are dealing with our own problems right now. Sending up a prayer was the most I could do.
My biggest problem with the whole thing, and I will be blunt, is that you are a big asker. You come here and ask for prayers and for thoughts. You share what is going on in your life and with your kids. But for a long time now you have not given much back to the board, as far as I can tell. For some time now, well even before Julian was born, you have been kind of a one sided poster. I understand that times get tough and that familes and people go through things but this is a public forum that is a give and take. We all post about our lives and our children and our husbands but we also post responses in support of the other Nesties. I bet you $1 that had you been a more supportive Nestie to other Nesties that you may have gotten a better reception for what you were asking. Just my 2 cents.
I hope you take this in the way I am meaning to say it - as advice on how to be friends to people who have been friends to you. It gets tiring being on the giving side all of the time. From time to time its nice to get some, too. Doesn't take much to type the word, "hugs" or "sorry" when needed.
Just food for thought.
Ditto MelB... not much to add to that then what she already wrote.
melb said it perfectly!
I haven't been around the bump long enough to know the whole backstory, but as a newer member...I say just let it go. People will always disagree on something. And whether it was appropriate or not to post what you did isn't really the issue anymore, as it was already done. No use in crying over spilled milk, ya know? Let's just let the issue pass and move on.
I'm glad to hear that your cousin is getting the support he needed.
My thoughts on the whole thing is that while I do feel terrible for your cousin's situation, there are SO MANY people out there right now in so much need and, although this is up to everyone's personal opinion, MY personal opinion is that there are a lot of other people and causes that need help much more than your cousin does. What he suffered was a terrible personal tragedy, and I wouldn't wish losing your family like that on my worst enemy, BUT, luckily, he survived. I am assuming that he is a healthy, able-bodied young man, lucky enough to now live in a country that offers him approximately a million more opportunities to get ahead than the country he came from, and, according to you, already has a job lined up and waiting for him (which in today's economy is a miracle). Plus, as you pointed out, he has already received a ton of help and donations from the Hispanic community.
I just don't see with all of that in mind why it was necessary for you to come and ask this board for financial help on top of everything else. I understand asking for emotional support and prayers, but I guess I'm just having a hard time understanding why you thought your cousin needed our money too. I've just seen so many Nesties/Bumpies here who have big enough problems of their own, from getting laid off or their DH's getting laid off, to dealing with serious medical conditions like cancer, and all the financial and emotional struggles that entails, and yet I have never seen any of them ask for monetary donations. I bet if we took a poll, every single woman on here could tell us about either a hard time they are going through personally or a relative or close friend who is suffering just like your cousin, yet no one comes and asks for donations. I think that's why your request struck so many people as odd. It's not like you were asking for donations for a charity, like hurricane relief, or an organization to feed the hungry...it was just money for one individual that you are related to who is not even sick or physically suffering in any way.
Anyway, I can't comment on your past history as a poster because I am relatively new here, but from what I have seen so far, I can get where MelB is coming from and that is probably why you were called out.
I am very sorry that everyone seems to feel that I am not participating on the board. I know I've been on and off the board for a while. I haven't been able to catch up with everything and everyone's happenings. I have tried and replied when I could but know it is not nearly as much as other bumpies. for that I'm sorry. I am eternally greatful for all the times you ladies have given me all the support through thoughts and prayers. I will honestly try and come on here more often to catch up and give to the board.
p.s. i didn't mean to offend anyone by saying hispanic community but the station which is trying to collect for my family is a spanish station that I don't expect people who do not speak spanish to watch. and my original post was made before a single penny was recieved so I had no idea that they would be able to collect what they had.