S/O Discipline techniques ?

easjer05

What will you do if time out is ineffective?

As a child, I had a very rich imagination.  Time out truly didn't bother me in the least (except in disappointing my parents), because I would just daydream (singing was quickly forbidden).  When I got old enough, revoking privileges was effective, but in the interim . . . I really don't know what I would do as a parent if timeouts didn't work.

What about you?

Mrs.C042807

I'm hoping that some of my discipline techniques from teaching will come into play... positive reinforcement does wonders for even the baddest of kids.

easjer05

Good Lord, your child is a cutie.  So gorgeous.

heather_09_15_07

Duct tape them to the walls.

iowandfw

time to lace up the shoes and walk the 'tude off. exercise does wonders. i hope.

Mrs.C042807

easjer05:

Good Lord, your child is a cutie.  So gorgeous.

Thank you.

two-pink-shoes

I think even for little kids preventing them from doing something they really want can be effective.  I nannied for a holy terror of a 3 year old who, while in timeout, would empty his clothes drawers, pull the blinds off the windows, and bang holes in the wall with a toy bat.  He did much better when I'd make him sit out activities that he enjoyed or not let him watch a movie with his brother. 

boxermama24

two-pink-shoes:

I think even for little kids preventing them from doing something they really want can be effective.  I nannied for a holy terror of a 3 year old who, while in timeout, would empty his clothes drawers, pull the blinds off the windows, and bang holes in the wall with a toy bat.  He did much better when I'd make him sit out activities that he enjoyed or not let him watch a movie with his brother. 

A 3-year-old left in his bedroom alone for timeout?  Not too sure about that...

However I agree that it's effective for kids to have things taken away.  As a teacher, the best thing I can do for kids is take things away from them - unfortunately, some don't "get the point" until I've taken away their field trip, field day, ice cream party, or something else big and exciting.

Mrs_Liberto

I'm a big fan of punishment fitting the crime. My parents always got "creative" with our punishments (after we were sort of past the time out stage).

Ex: -Sis stole a shirt at the mall (I think she was 10). Mom made her go wash all the store windows to pay for it.

-I wasn't supposed to wear makeup to school (age 13) and did anyways, so my mom painted my face like a clown and I had to leave it that way for a day.

-Backtalking (like, really severely) got us stuck in a sandwich board sign for an hour. It said something like "I will learn to respect my parents, because right now I don't!" or something.

-Underaged drinking and/or being a stupid teenage driver? My mom is a flight nurse for med-evac flights and made us go on a ride-along for a scene call to a 4-car DUI accident involving three teenagers. THAT sure brought me back down to remembering my own mortality.

two-pink-shoes

boxermama24:

A 3-year-old left in his bedroom alone for timeout?  Not too sure about that...

That's what his parents told me to do...it was only for 3 minutes max.  And I stayed right outside the door.

swimrbride

I am hoping that a combination of positive reinforcement, choice giving and time out will be successful. Sometimes I think that kids are just going to rebel and not much will work except waiting out that period but still using consistent techniques, just adapting them as the child gets older.

iowandfw

Mrs_Liberto:

I'm a big fan of punishment fitting the crime. My parents always got "creative" with our punishments (after we were sort of past the time out stage).

Ex: -Sis stole a shirt at the mall (I think she was 10). Mom made her go wash all the store windows to pay for it.

-I wasn't supposed to wear makeup to school (age 13) and did anyways, so my mom painted my face like a clown and I had to leave it that way for a day.

-Backtalking (like, really severely) got us stuck in a sandwich board sign for an hour. It said something like "I will learn to respect my parents, because right now I don't!" or something.

-Underaged drinking and/or being a stupid teenage driver? My mom is a flight nurse for med-evac flights and made us go on a ride-along for a scene call to a 4-car DUI accident involving three teenagers. THAT sure brought me back down to remembering my own mortality.

hmm. these are interesting tools. i wonder if the sandwich board thing would be considered controversial these days? 

Ms.Scarlet

fredalina:

The most important things are 1) consistency, and 2) noticing and commenting when they are being good, not just punishing when bad.

Fred is wise.

athena83

^ Agreed.  Yeah, i like this instead.  When we were little, my mom was very inconsistent with us so my dad had to crack down pretty hard.  He did loosen up a whole lot, even though it was hard for him to do.  After he left, my mom didn't know what to do for discipline, so we got screamed at a lot, sent to our rooms (even though we came right back out) etc...few consequences and some reinforcement.  My first stepdad was abusive, and although we were good when he was around there were definitely right and wrong ways for him to go about it.  After he left, my mom felt sorry for us and was very very lenient.  Anyway, we turned out just fine, but i'm keeping my eyes open for different ways.  My dad's great with keeping the kids/grandkids under control and hasn't spanked anyone in 10+ years (worked very hard at finding other ways), but there is order in that home.

Great suggestions for other ways to discipline.  Thanks.

athena83

athena83:

^ Agreed.  Yeah, i like this instead.  When we were little, my mom was very inconsistent with us so my dad had to crack down pretty hard.  He did loosen up a whole lot, even though it was hard for him to do.  After he left, my mom didn't know what to do for discipline, so we got screamed at a lot, sent to our rooms (even though we came right back out) etc...few consequences and some reinforcement.  My first stepdad was abusive, and although we were good when he was around there were definitely right and wrong ways for him to go about it.  After he left, my mom felt sorry for us and was very very lenient.  Anyway, we turned out just fine, but i'm keeping my eyes open for different ways.  My dad's great with keeping the kids/grandkids under control and hasn't spanked anyone in 10+ years (worked very hard at finding other ways), but there is order in that home.

Great suggestions for other ways to discipline.  Thanks.

Damn, sorry, I was quoting Fred's earlier post.

athena83

kdodge423:

two-pink-shoes:

boxermama24:

A 3-year-old left in his bedroom alone for timeout?  Not too sure about that...

That's what his parents told me to do...it was only for 3 minutes max.  And I stayed right outside the door.

No wonder he was a terror- his "punishment" was being sent to a room where all his toys were. Stoopid.

 

LOL, was thinking about this too.  Maybe timeout in the corner where you could see him, or sit at the top/bottom of the stairs?  Or just have his door open and stay outside of it, but he has to sit at the edge of his bed and not touch anything.  Just my $.02 though.

AllThatGlitters101

I was a daycare teacher for 3 years (age 3) and had very little discipline issues and I attribute it to consistency, positive reinforcement, and making the children always aware of what the punishment would be for the bad choice.

For example, every single time we went outside, we went over the rules. And after every rule, we had to state what would happen if they broke the rule. Example: What happens if you kick your ball over the fence? Kids: It stays over the fence until recess is over! What happens if you hit/kick/push someone else? Kids: You go to timeout!

After each timeout (in a chair facing the corner for a few minutes, which max. minutes was the child's age), I would pull the child over, ask why that child was sent to timeout, explain again we don't do that, make them apologize, and the move on. 

Sometimes I had to reseat the children in timeout until they sat there the appropiate amount of time. It took over an hour once of me picking up the child, sitting him back in the seat, him screaming and getting up, and us repeating the drill. After that day, we never had an issue again. It totally sucked for that hour, but he finally got the point that he HAD to do his timeout time. 

AllThatGlitters101

Also, like the boy twopinkshoes nannied, I had some kids throw toys and dump toy baskets out in tantrums. After timeout they HAD to pick up their mess. If it took all day, it took all day (although the longest I ever had to wait was about 45 minutes). The rest of the kids and I would continue our projects, singing, dancing, whatever, and the child who messed up the room had to sit by the mess and couldn't participate until they cleaned up. Most kids quickly saw the fun they were missing and cleaned up their mess, had to apologize, and then joined the fun again.