Babies: 9 - 12 Months

I don't get it.

I don't understand when I see people posting about toddlers refusing to go to sleep until the wee hours of the morning or how they are up multiple times at night still to nurse or have a bottle. Why complain about it? I have no sympathy if you refuse to try any kind of sleep training. 

I also hate that my baby is called 'abnormal' by some of the more 'crunchy' mothers because she sleeps from 7 until 6:30. Apparently I forced her into that by doing Ferber.

I'd rather us both be happy and rested than me be a zombie who didn't want to do anything and have a cranky baby all of the time. 

Re: I don't get it.

  • preach on, kel. i agree with you.
  • I'm with you. The whole "Help!! My baby won't sleep but I don't believe in sleep training!" thing makes me roll my eyes.
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  • Thank you!  It is awful, but once he reached a certain age, it was like, do or die, and certainly stop complaining about it! 
    O 10.08 & MJ 6.10
  • imageCourt0026:
    Thank you!  It is awful, but once he reached a certain age, it was like, do or die, and certainly stop complaining about it! 

    Exactly. No, I will not continue to stay up until 1AM every night, wake up every hour and a half until 7AM, and then go to work from 9AM until 5:30PM WITH my child. That is just cruel for the both of us. So when six months hit, we did Ferber, and she didn't even cry that much. I no longer hallucinate from exhaustion, which is nice.

     

  • imagekelbrian:

    I also hate that my baby is called 'abnormal' by some of the more 'crunchy' mothers because she sleeps from 7 until 6:30. Apparently I forced her into that by doing Ferber.

    They would HATE me. We did Ferber-lite and DS sleeps 7pm-830am.

    I say Ferber-lite because he was STTN perfectly fine on his own and then started fighting being put down when he was ~9 months.

    Momma to three boys: Henry - 4yo Alex - 18mo Jack - born 2/23/12 at 20w due to ruptured uterus (previa and accreta resulting in hysterectomy) He only lived here on Earth for an hour, but he will live in our hearts forever. m/c #1: sept '09, m/c #2: july '10
  • I was against trying Ferber til about 2 months ago and now DD STTN from 7:30 pm till 6:30 am.

    And, we used to co-sleep, nurse 3-4 times a night and she didn't even sleep in her crib for the first time til she was 7 months.

    Ferber is wonderful and a genius!

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  • After 7 months I have no sympathy for these moms either! Stop complaining, read the damn Ferber book, understand it and then implement it!
  • I did Ferber at 7.5 months and the transformation was immediate. If this makes me a horrible unattached mother, so be it! give me my BADGE!
  • agreed.  there are 100 different sleep "experts".  Try picking up a book and see what you can try out.
  • I understand the vent - BUT...

    I guess I fall into your crunchy mom category since I don't believe in sleep training (for my kid/family).  But I don't think your kid is abnormal.  And for the record I'm pretty happy with how kiddo sleeps.   And, yes I realize kiddo isn't yet 6 months old and one day I may rethink my sleep philosophy!

  • imagencbelle:

    I understand the vent - BUT...

    I guess I fall into your crunchy mom category since I don't believe in sleep training (for my kid/family).  But I don't think your kid is abnormal.  And for the record I'm pretty happy with how kiddo sleeps.   And, yes I realize kiddo isn't yet 6 months old and one day I may rethink my sleep philosophy!

    I didn't believe in it either until she went from co-sleeping peacefully to a monster who refused to sleep. I thought Ferber was evil. Seriously. Your views may never change, but mine did.

  • I generally believe anyone who does not believe in any sort of "sleep training" has a sleeper, or at least a baby capable of sleeping more than 1/2 an hour at a time.?

    ?

  • imagekelbrian:
    imagencbelle:

    I understand the vent - BUT...

    I guess I fall into your crunchy mom category since I don't believe in sleep training (for my kid/family).  But I don't think your kid is abnormal.  And for the record I'm pretty happy with how kiddo sleeps.   And, yes I realize kiddo isn't yet 6 months old and one day I may rethink my sleep philosophy!

    I didn't believe in it either until she went from co-sleeping peacefully to a monster who refused to sleep. I thought Ferber was evil. Seriously. Your views may never change, but mine did.

    Yup - I know to never say never.  And in any case, I promise never to complain about his sleep habits Wink

  • I never did Ferber or any sort of CIO or anythiing like that and my baby sleeps from 7ish til 7am or so.  Mind you, it didn't happen until he was 7 or 8 months but it happened.  They can suck it.

     

    Edit:  I should add that I was ready to try some sort of sleep training but thankfully he cooperated.  Before that I was up at least 5 times a night on a good night.  If at this point I'd still be complaing about getting up a few nights a week I would have given you permission to slap me into next week.

  • imagelanie26:

    I generally believe anyone who does not believe in any sort of "sleep training" has a sleeper, or at least a baby capable of sleeping more than 1/2 an hour at a time. 

     

    Yeah, I have a "sleeper" - I hope I don't have to do Ferber since I don't like the idea of it for my baby but DS has been sleeping in his crib without any issues and goes down for naps without too much trouble. There was a period when he woke up to eat since he wouldn't eat during the day but that wouldn't have been resolved by sleep training. So I'm glad to know Ferber works but I hope I don't have to use the method.

    2007 BFP#1 MMC 12w; 2008 BFP#2 DS1; 2010 BFP#3 DS2; 2011 TTC; 2013 Pursuing DIA
  • You have to work..what choice would you have???  Don't let anyone make you feel bad about any choice you make.  Hell, even if you didn't leave the house to go to work, you still need to be functional during the day. 

    And I agree with you...no matter what the subject is, if someone isn't willing to try things available to them, they shouldn't complain about it!

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  • imagencbelle:
    imagekelbrian:
    imagencbelle:

    I understand the vent - BUT...

    I guess I fall into your crunchy mom category since I don't believe in sleep training (for my kid/family).  But I don't think your kid is abnormal.  And for the record I'm pretty happy with how kiddo sleeps.   And, yes I realize kiddo isn't yet 6 months old and one day I may rethink my sleep philosophy!

    I didn't believe in it either until she went from co-sleeping peacefully to a monster who refused to sleep. I thought Ferber was evil. Seriously. Your views may never change, but mine did.

    Yup - I know to never say never.  And in any case, I promise never to complain about his sleep habits Wink

    You are a very smart person. I like that you're crunchy yet, never say never. That's a great attitude!

  • imagestephm0188:
    I'm with you. The whole "Help!! My baby won't sleep but I don't believe in sleep training!" thing makes me roll my eyes.

    Yes  if my baby wouldn't sleep until the wee hours, i'd probably have to be committed.

  • FWIW, I think it's possible to sleep train some babies w/out CIO, but I agree that you can't just cross your fingers and hope your baby learns to sleep.

    I'm a fairly crunchy mom, but I don't understand why anyone would say your baby was "abnormal" because she sleeps 11.5 hours at night.  She's almost a year old.  That seems pretty normal to me.

  • Two kids "Ferberized", two kids that sleep 7:30 to 7:30.

    One very happy mommy. 

    I must agree with you...people shouldn't complain if they aren't willing to teach their child to sleep.

  • imagencbelle:

    I understand the vent - BUT...

    I guess I fall into your crunchy mom category since I don't believe in sleep training (for my kid/family).  But I don't think your kid is abnormal.  And for the record I'm pretty happy with how kiddo sleeps.   And, yes I realize kiddo isn't yet 6 months old and one day I may rethink my sleep philosophy!

    Same.

    I have made a conscious decision to not sleep train. If people don't like that I want to vent and/or complain about their sleep, then judge away.

    I also dont think your kid is abnormal - if you are happy with the choices you make as a mother, even if they may be different ones than I'd make - then I say more power to you. 

    I may whine or *** about Evan's sleep (not so much Abby's since she's a way better sleeper than he ever was) but that doesn't mean I'm not 100% confident in my choice to not sleep train.

    This whole line of thinking smacks of the "how dare you complain about being pregnant, you horrible mother" posts on the tri boards...lol

  • imagestephm0188:
    I'm with you. The whole "Help!! My baby won't sleep but I don't believe in sleep training!" thing makes me roll my eyes.

    Well, not everyone feels comfortable with CIO and that's usually what people mean when they tell you to sleep train.

  • imagemrszee2b:

    FWIW, I think it's possible to sleep train some babies w/out CIO, but I agree that you can't just cross your fingers and hope your baby learns to sleep.

    I'm a fairly crunchy mom, but I don't understand why anyone would say your baby was "abnormal" because she sleeps 11.5 hours at night.  She's almost a year old.  That seems pretty normal to me.

    I agree with this.  Actually, I personally don't agree with CIO/Ferber.  And it drives me crazy when people tell me my DD will only learn proper sleep habits if I do it.  It took a bit of work, but DD now sleeps well. 

    We established good habits and "rules", and we are happy with the results.

    This is just what works best for our family.

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  • I agree with you.  It's a good thing that she sleeps that long, I don't see why some people think ferber is like a prison sentence or something.  In the long run it benefits DC too. 
  • Yes yes yes a thousand times yes!  First, sleep training does not have to equal CIO at all.  We never did CIO but we did sleep training at 4 months, and my baby and I have never been happier.  Oh, and DS was EBF until  6 months old.  It is possible.  Eat that, "crunchy moms"!  I'm sorry but I don't understand that whole horror with sleep training.  Sometimes with some babies, it's like any other training - potty training, eating solids, discipline.

     NO it's not always pretty and perfect, but it's necessary to do with some babies for their overall well-being.  I don't care how crunchy you are, but until you are woken up every hour for months and months, there's no way you can be a good mother to your child when you are that exhausted!

     

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  • My baby sleeps very well (8-7:30). He did it on his own but if he hadn't I know I would have tried Ferber. Babies cry and have a harder time going to sleep if they are exhausted and cranky so it would have been necessary to keep him happy and healthy. Mothers that haven't tried it most likely don't know what it is so how can they honestly say it is bad?
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  • I'm late to the party, but what I love the most is when other mothers tell me that their SCHOOL AGED kids do not STTN! I am sorry, but that is ridiculous. Mind you, we haven't done ferber yet (but want to, just can't b/c of sickness then teething), but we will do it ASAP b/c we all need sleep!
  • imagepunkfiction:
    preach on, kel. i agree with you.

    You know how much it scares me when we agree, Punk.

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