How do you deal with constant crying over everything?!?!?!?

WifeyLindsay

DD has been crying over EVERYTHING and it's really starting to drive me crazy. Examples:

#1- My DH has a home office that he works out of most of the time. When DD knows he's in his office, she always wants to go in there. When I tell her no she bursts into tears.

 #2- My neighbor always gives my DD candy and cookies. While I think it's very nice of her, we always see her after dinner/right before bedtime... not the most ideal time to load your kid up on junk. So when DD asks for more cookies or M&M's and I say no she burts into tears once again (she has had a cookie and some M&M's already).

#3- When DD wants to watch a movie and I feel like she's watched enough TV for the day and I say no, once again, full blown dramatic oscar winning performance by none other than my DD.

 I could go on and on. And all of these have happened within just the past couple of hours. I am finding myself at my wits end and I really don't know how to deal with this behavior. If I tell her crying is for her room and that she needs to go to her room to calm down she screams "I DON'T WANT TO CRY!!!!!!!" at me. If I tell her to go in time out, she's yelling and crying at me the entire time that she's in time out. If I try and sit with her and try and help her deal with her emotions and frustrations, I just end up getting told, "I DON'T WANT TO BE UPSET! I DON'T WANT TO CRY! I DON'T WANT TO GO TO MY ROOM! I WANT TO BE NICE"!!!!

I'm struggling with whether I should just put my foot down and put her in her room, or in time out, or if I should help her out because she is still so little, but I don't want to feed into the crying.

Can someone please let me know what the most efficient way to deal with a sensitive, emotional 2 year old female is?!?!?!?

~Kat~

DS has been exactly the same way! He wanted a packet of fruit snacks right before lunch today and freaked out when I wouldn't give them to him. He also cried when we had to come in form outside, and when I asked him to put his blocks away. It is really wearing on me. Mostly I have been trying to ignore him when he cries for no reason. I know that sounds mean, but I think it keeps it from escalating. Sometimes threatening time out will help him stop for a little bit.

belle204

It's hard but you just have to be firm. A is good for doing this to me. Then she tells me "you make me cry." I just let her know we can't always have our way (read: she can't always have hers) and that sometimes mommy has to say no and there are no if, ands or buts about it. Then I don't tell her I will talk to her when she can stop crying and yelling but until then I won't acknowledge her and just ignore it. It works 9 out of 10 times. It's not for everyone but it works for me. Redirections works sometimes, too. You just have to feel it out ... and then be firm. Hang in there.

Ashley&Bryan

Ahhhh, it's got to be the age! My dd burst into tears 3 times in 2 hours this afternoon.  I just try to diffuse the situation.  Like your dd, the crying is over NOTHING.  For example, this afternoon we were making cookies, DD was standing at the counter on a chair.  DD was eating the powder mix out of the bowl and dropped some on the floor.  The dog comes over and is licking the floor and accidentally nudged her chair.  Automatically, she bursts into tears - trying to say something about how the dog was moving her chair.  I just got to her level and said very calmly "Honey, this is not something we cry over.  Just say 'Mommy, she is moving my chair', and mommy will fix it. "  She stopped and repeated my words. 

I am HOPING that this is a phase... that she is trying to deal with her emotions and how she is feeling at the moment and sometimes it's overwhelming. I think they just need help sorting out how they are feeling.  It really tries my patience sometimes though..........

WifeyLindsay

Ashley&Bryan:

Ahhhh, it's got to be the age! My dd burst into tears 3 times in 2 hours this afternoon.  I just try to diffuse the situation.  Like your dd, the crying is over NOTHING.  For example, this afternoon we were making cookies, DD was standing at the counter on a chair.  DD was eating the powder mix out of the bowl and dropped some on the floor.  The dog comes over and is licking the floor and accidentally nudged her chair.  Automatically, she bursts into tears - trying to say something about how the dog was moving her chair.  I just got to her level and said very calmly "Honey, this is not something we cry over.  Just say 'Mommy, she is moving my chair', and mommy will fix it. "  She stopped and repeated my words. 

I am HOPING that this is a phase... that she is trying to deal with her emotions and how she is feeling at the moment and sometimes it's overwhelming. I think they just need help sorting out how they are feeling.  It really tries my patience sometimes though..........

 Totally sounds like my DD!!! I agree that they just seem to need help sorting out their feelings, that's why I just want to sit and talk with her, but sometimes she won't calm down and I feel like I am just feeding into it. It's so hard to decide what tantrum is for real and what isn't! AH! lol

CubbyMama

I think they're just too young to manage disappointment or frustration at this point, and the examples you gave seem like legitimate reasons for her to be upset--it's just hard on us to hear them cry and throw fits all day!  I just try not to make telling DD "no" into a huge production--I try to sweeten it a little whenever I can.  For example, if she wants to watch "Dora" for the 100th time today, and I just say, "Nope, no more Dora," she'll absolutely cry...but if I say, "I think we've watched enough Dora today--let's go play outside!  Do you want to blow bubbles or go on the swing?"  then she's distracted from the disappointment a little bit and is less likely to flip  out.  That's not always possible, but when it is, it's worth it to me!

jen5-03

First I try to empathize... "Yes, it is sad, but there are no more fruit snacks. You can have water or goldfish." (whats in those fruitsnack things? Toddler crack? She's an addict!)

Then I try distraction and tell her it's time for x or does she want to play with her doll or it's time to feed the cats (which she loves to do - that one almost always works).

After that I pretty much just ignore it.

I don't do timeouts for the random crying unless she starts trying to hit me while she's busy being mad.

WifeyLindsay

You ladies are awesome. Thank you so much for your help! I think changing how I word things is going to work wonders. At least I know that i'm not the only mommy that has to deal with this all the time! That alone makes me feel better. LOL. Thanks again.

belle204

I wanted to clarify that I don't completely ignore her when she has these meltdowns. I do acknowledge her feelings b/c I don't want her growing up thinking I'm cold and uncaring. I just have a line that I draw at a certain point. Of course, she's older than your dd so she can understand more now. At that age is was very rough.

lizlemon77

I could have written this same post word for word.  Yesterday it was because she was trying to ballance all of the play beverages on a try and carry it to me but then it would fall and she would cry and scream.  And just like your DD she will then cry out "I just want to be happy!!"  It makes me so sad when she says that because I don't know how to help her!

luckyluvr

I need to reply just to bookmark the post to show DH. He's convinced DS's age had nothing to do w/ it and NOT every 2 yr. old goes through it. We're arguing all.the.time over this, so it's nice to have evidence that T is not the only 2 yo. doing the crying for no reason.