Am I allowed to be annoyed?

CalledOut

My MIL has very sweetly offered to watch LO 2x/week once I return to work in the fall.

 My SIL is due at the end of October and intends to be a SAHM.  I know this b/c the whole freakin' world knows this - she won't stfu about the importance of being a SAHM, how it's her life's dream, blah, blah.

 So today, we're engaged in some emailing about Father's Day plans and MIL is cc'd on the email.  Towards the end, SIL says "By the way, mom, I know that you're watching CalledOut's baby 2 days a week.  What is that schedule going to be, b/c I'd like to discuss where you're going to fit into my support system as well."

 Ummmm - you're a SAHM - it was your "life's dream," remember - you don't need childcare b/c you decided that YOU were going to be the childcare...Back off my free babysitter!

mavilabride

Well...I guess you could be annoyed if you so please

I personally think that being a SAHM is a full time plus overtime job and if you can get someone to help you out at least once a week so that you can take care of errands and what not, then there is nothing wrong with that.  If I were a SAHM, I know I would appreciate the help.

soontobejesseng

I'm annoyed at the way she phrased that, and the fact that she said it in an email.

hisprincess06

Maybe she was wondering the schedule so her Mom can help her out when she has to run certain errands and such.  Wish I could be a SAHM. boohoo

Idhreniel

I think I'd be more annoyed with how she worded the request than the fact that she's asking for help.  "I'd like to discuss where you're going to fit into my suport system" just sounds weird compared to "I know you're babysitting two days a week, do you think you'd be able to give me a hand on x day?"

mandolynn81

we decided that mil will watch baby. But my mom who is not always stable is throwing a fit about it. So now I have to make up reasons why mil is going to do it.?

I would rather be in your situation.

?

CalledOut

I'm not saying she's wrong for wanting help - although, I don't really think she's entitled to it.  I think we'd all love 2 free days every week w/o jobs or baby's, but it doesn't mean we get to have it.  MIL is watching my LO so that I can go to work - not so that I can go to the grocery store...

 Anyway, the thing that irritated me was the tit-for-tat nature of the demand.  "You're watching CalledOut's kid 2x/week, so now you have to watch mine 2x/week."  What's going to end up happening is MIL is going to end up at SIL's one day and my house one day, and ky kid is going to be in daycare 4 days / week instead of only 3. 

BadaBing327

I'll be a SAHM and my mom will be coming to my house once a week so I can get errands done.

I agree that it's annoying she asked it in an email but SAHM's need a support system too.

mfransdell

soontobejesseng:

I'm annoyed at the way she phrased that, and the fact that she said it in an email.

This. Wow, i hope your MIL is annoyed too. "where you will fit into MY support system". Who says that?!?!

aajfoster

"support system" is such a weird way of putting it.  when i read it, i almost took it as she is jealous that MIL is watching your baby, and wants to know when MIL is going to have time for her baby.  maybe i am reading too much into it but i didnt really see it as a "when can you come so i can grocery shop" type of question. 

mpls_cat

She sounds prissy and annoying, and I agree with pp that the way she worded that question is super obnoxious. I also agree though that SAHM's deserve support/breaks just as much (maybe more) than anyone else. It's just weird that she'd talk to her mom like that and ask that question in an email rather than just talking to her.