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3rd Trimester
Do you judge other women with children?
I'm just curious if you judge other women with children? I've noticed lately that I am doing this more and more. This is my first child and I know that I shouldn't judge because I don't have any children. Maybe it makes me an evil person or maybe I am just learning what I won't do or how I won't let me children act.
Three examples that just happend recently:
1. DH and I were at his cousin's wedding this past Sunday. We sat with my MIL, BIL, SIL and 2 year old nephew. My BIL and SIL kept feeding my nephew bread from the bread basket. He in turn decided to take one bite, then whip one bite at me. By the 3rd piece of bread thrown at me, I was pissed. Now, why keep feeding him if he is just going to continue to throw it? Oh, yes, and while your at it - force feed him glasses of sprite so that he projectile vomits all over the table.
1. I was in the mall shopping with DH. This mother was letting her child (no more than 2) crawl around on the filthy dirty mall floor. I wouldn't let my child do that let alone would I even let my dog eat off it.
2. While I was getting my hair done, a woman was next to me getting her eyebrows waxed. She had her daughter in a stroller next to her. The baby had nothing to occupy her, so her mother gave her - her car keys. So, there you have this adorable baby gnawing the heck out of some metal (probably dirty) car keys.
I know it makes me sound awful for judging but I don't even have a baby yet and question the parenting techniques of others. Do you?
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Re: Do you judge other women with children?
Please excuse my brain fart - I obviously was too busy judging other women that I couldn't properly number my examples.
BFP#2 4/4/12 EDD: 12/13/12 m/c at 8w2d
BFP#3 8/18/12 EDD: 5/1/13 Beta @13DPO: 61, Beta@15DPO: 216
Baby BOY!
Oh my gosh, I would NEVER voice my opinion it to someone's face. I wouldn't want the same done to me. I just judge in my head or make comments to DH.
You bet, and I'm not ashamed to admit it, though I rarely actually say anything to them. I also make sure to compliment parents that I feel are doing a great job because I don't think many people do that.
So will people judge me? Possibly, and that is their right.
This for me too...except they are all my little cousins, which make it feel like nieces and nephews. I'm all too familiar!
It?s hard not too. Although I must admit before I had children, which was very young at 18 I judged much more. I always stated ?I?ll never be like that mother? or ?my child will never do as that child did? as in throwing fits in the middle of the store.
The only time I did step in is when this lady smacked her 1-year-old across the face. I was absolutely furious with her!! And let her knew about it. I wasn?t the only one that stepped in within mins later.
I think it?s motherly instincts when it comes too this.I had way more nieces & nephews than that before having kids & I'm sure I recall thinking like you did. Then your own come out. And there are some things you absolutely stick to and other things you don't. Oh, and btw it all changes when you have #2 also (and probably # 3, 4, etc but we stopped at 2). I'm not talking about the big stuff/issues, but the things that you're trying to deal with to get through each day!
This is my second child & I have voiced my opinion to other people before. It is an extreme circumstance before I will voice my opinion, but it has happened.
A car pulled in next to me at our general store, the mother was BFing an infant while in the passenger seat (so the baby isn't in a carseat) and the toddler in the backseat was sitting on top of their upside down carseat, not buckled in! I told them they were really reckless & that they were putting their kids in danger (duh). The man driving (maybe the dad) told me to shove it. Needless to say the cops paid them a visit within the hour.
I know a lot of the things that upset me are just common sense stuff like the carseat thing....or letting your kid stand on the seat of the grocery cart.
I am a stepmom so it goes with the territory. "If they were my kids, I'd....etc"
Ya, I do it, too....in my head. I never say anything out loud about it but I think it's almost weird not to..know what I mean?
That would've driven me nuts. I am a safety fanatic. Even less extreme stuff than that bothers me, like when people j-walk with their kid. I was a nanny for years and would have NEVER thought of crossing in the middle of the street with cars coming with one hand on a stroller and the other holding a toddler's hand.
People are too effing lazy and concerned with their own convenience to make sure their kids are safe. The thought of a child being injured or worse motivates me to do all kinds of things.
Oh, don't get me wrong--I didn't mean to suggest that I'll have the perfect child or that I'll never let DS do something other moms would scoff at. There are definitely things that I'm willing to let go (like not worrying about DS crawling on a dirty floor), but there will never, ever be a time when I will let DS throw food at someone at the table. And since this will be our only child, there likely won't be any additional concessions I have to make.