My dad has older siblings, plus I'm an older mom...so the first family baby showers I went to were when my cousins starting having kids 24 years ago. I grew up thinking that it was perfectly normal to hold a potluck at one of my auntie's houses. Gifts were never big-ticket items...outfits, blankets, toys...MAYBE a swing from the baby or mom's godmother. Favors were usually Jordan almonds wrapped in netting and tied with a bow. Having a shower at a hall or a restaurant just seemed crazy and extravagant!
If I could plan a perfect shower for myself, it would be a casual potluck at someone's house with a bunch of friends and family. Groups of people might chip in for big ticket items from the registry, but I'd also get a lot of homemade or thoughtful items. There would be no shower games...and the favors would be chocolate!
Re: What were showers like when you were growing up? What would be your ideal?
The only showers that I have ever been to have been at someone's house (and over the past 7 years or so). They have never been catered, and some potluck style. They were always so much fun. I also don't remember anyone bringing any big ticket items to the shower. My IL's bought us the crib and changing table, but they said it was more because they had never bought us a wedding present or paid for the rehersal dinner years ago when we got married.
I personally like smaller more intimate get togethers without a lot of fuss!
I hosted most of my friends showers. They ranged from a buffet at my house to a private room at a restaurant.
My friends and one of my sisters is throwing mine. I'm an older first time mom 45 so they're pretty excited about this baby. It's at a friends house in her yard - 50 - 60 people (about 10 guys for DH to hang with) and they rented a tent in case it rains. They're yard is beautiful and has a built in pool etc. They'll have a buffet.
I never went to showers growing up (they weren't for kids).
I went to my first baby shower maybe 3 years ago.
But, showers in my circle are always at someone's house. Having a shower at a restuarant (which is, apparently, expected in some parts of the country) seems very odd to me.
Heck, both of mine are like that! My first one was at a community center and was potluck style. No big ticket items, but lots of friends and having fun.
My second is Saturday at my FMIL's house and will also be potluck. No big ticket items, I am sure, which I am a-okay with. Just family members and good food.
I would say those are my ideal. I am not a center of attention kind of person so this works out well for me that others will be mingling and stuff.
I've only been to a handful of baby showers and most were held at a home (either close friend of the mom-to-be or family member). Many of my friends are, like me, Jewish and don't have them. The others who did, wanted to keep it small. However, two were held in restaurants in a private room.
EDIT: And I never went to a baby shower prior to my mid-20s when coworkers starting having children. None of my friends had a baby before age 30?and very few married before age 30. It's somewhat the norm in NJ to marry/have children later (late 20s/early 30s).
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This.
I did go to a shower when I was younger, for my aunt when she was pg with my cousin. It was low key, at her MILs house and there weren't any big ticket items, mainly clothes and diapers (although her mom - my grandmother - did buy many big items for her outside of the shower).
FI's ex-stepmother called the other day and asked, "Are you sure that's all you need? Your registry seems pretty bare." I just shrugged my shoulders. I felt really awkward even creating a registry for my shower, and moreso putting anything on it over maybe $20. I don't expect people to buy me anything - so I left my registry pretty much empty and if people want to buy baby clothes that I wouldn't have picked out, or multiples of one item that I end up having to return, then so be it.
This. And the hostesses make the food (usually finger sandwiches, fruit salad, cake - nothing heavy).