Clicky Poll: Would you let your MIL clean your house?

mavilabride

Yesterday FMIL came by the house to pick up some furniture.  On her way out she asked if we could make a copy of our house key so that she can come by while we are working and clean.  She says that I'm going to have a lot of visitors and will need my home to be clean for them and she doesn't want me bending down or doing too much before the baby arrives.  I ignored her but she called and asked again.

I don't know how I feel about it.  Well...that's not true.  I'm uncomfortable with the thought *but* when my mom visits, she automatically starts cleaning which I'm sure makes FI uncomfortable but he doesn't complain about it.  So just wanted to get your thoughts...

 

[Poll]

hula_lula

I'd be very uncomfortable with that.

While it's a very, very nice thought, I'm really uncomfortable with the idea of anyone coming to clean my house

My mom has offered to do that while I'm on maternity leave/just home from the hospital- to come do laundry, etc. But the idea of my mom washing my husbands boxers.... skeeves me out

kiki4

I have a hard enough time allowing my own mother to clean my house, I can't imagine being comfortable with my MIL doing it!

water-fairy

When we lived in Milan (Italy) and MIL was just a 15 min drive away she used to clean our house when we were away or just too busy working. Sure, she doesn't clean it like I do but who's to complain when one offers to help? I was glad to have one less thing to worry about. Now we live half a planet away and I wish I had MIL or mom offer to clean for me.

I would take the offer, but that's just me! 

mavilabride

hula_lula:

But the idea of my mom washing my husbands boxers.... skeeves me out

I know!!! My mom usually visits and stays because she lives four hours away.  We already know the drill: remove all undies from the laundry room because there is no stopping that woman from doing laundry.  Even if we tell her not to, she'll wait until I'm in the shower and FI is out doing something to get it all started.

Breezer80

Abso-freaking-loutely. I am a terrible housekeeper and would let anyone clean my house at any time.

But, besides that, I think this is a really, really common thing that women did. When a friend/family member was pregnant or had a new baby, the mom(s) come over and help to clean the house, cook meals, etc in order to give the mom a break & one less thing to worry about.

psvenson

Every time we see/talk to my MIL she offers to clean our house. It makes me uncomfortable since, for one, I am a control freak and I just don't like people all up in my things, and second, I prefer if she is a guest in my house that she not feel obligated to clean.

Don't know how to break it to her tactfully that, however generous her offer, my answer is still "no".

chankins14

My MIL was a homemaker & it is just second nature to her.  She likes to do it & is good at is so I say SCRUB ON MOM!  The only thing she isn't allowed to touch is my laundry.  I am the only one who does my laundry. 

nycteach

Um, yes but that's probably because I hate cleaning.

AutumnBride929

This brings back bad memories of the time ILs came down to visit us for a long weekend in the spring & they cleaned while we were at work & we could not find ANYTHING after that!  lol  They would also put stuff from the dishwasher away in the wrong places & I about went insane.  I know they were just trying to help & I did appreciate that but it was a little bit frustrating that they put stuff away in random places so we couldn't find things that we normally leave out or had left out for a purpose because we'd be needing it soon. 

On that note, I voted that I would give her specific tasks if she wanted to help so badly but not leave a key! lol

andiwal

Breezer80:

Abso-freaking-loutely. I am a terrible housekeeper and would let anyone clean my house at any time.

ditto and ditto. 

aroberts7106

My answer is mixed on this one.  If my MIL was offering to help me clean to save me from bending down and just to be nice, I might feel more comfortable with allowing her to help me clean (I would never leave her a key though...I would ask her to come over while one of us was home).  This is a big "might" though...I don't like anyone else cleaning my house for me...I know she would do a good job, but I don't know if I would be altogether comfortable with it. 

However, you said that she wants to do this because your house needs to be clean for the visitors you will be getting.  This sounds just like my MIL....in other words, SHE would be embarassed to have YOUR house be somewhat dirty for when visitors come over (if I am understanding what you said correctly).  Umm, hello, you just had a baby!  No visitors should be expecting your house to be perfectly clean!  You have slightly more important things to worry about....not whether or not the windows are clean.  So with this reasoning, I would say absolutely not, and tell her that the house is just fine for any visitors that may come. 

My MIL told me that I had better start making cookies now to freeze them so that I have something to offer my visitors when they come to see the baby....these people have another thing coming if they think I will be providing them with refreshments when I have a newborn to take care of!  Of course, if I don't have anything to offer people, this will mortify my MIL....which is reason in itself to not have anything prepared for people

peeper72

I would prefer to hire someone. MIL has done dishes and laundry while visiting and it always ends up more frustrating than it's worth. When it comes to being detail-oriented we are just so different!

mrs.serrato85

MIL, SILS and my mom have been telling me the same thing.... but im just so uncomfortale with it... i may try and give the house a little wipe down and make it presentable before i let them over (while im here, helping) to help clean and set up the nursery

jason&robin

I would be fine with it if I was there and she did only the things I asked her to. My MIL has helped up clean our house and she has started washing my clothes without me knowing twice. Of course, I find this out after she has put half of my clothes in the dryer that I air dry. It frustrated me because I didn't ask her to touch my clothes. Otherwise, I would gladly accept the help.

amm04

Simply put, hell to the no!

theduck808

When we were moving, she came over to help clean our apartment. It was alright - though every 5 minutes or so, she'd holler my name from the next room to ask about something inane. Drove me crazy, because I was busy trying to pack AND clean AND keep the cat calm.?

She's coming in for her visit (dun dun dunnn!!!) - DH is all beaming and glowing how she's going to help. ?If I'm recovering/breastfeeding and she hollers my name over and over, I just might scream. So we shall see how this MIL help pans out.?

psvenson

AutumnBride929:

This brings back bad memories of the time ILs came down to visit us for a long weekend in the spring & they cleaned while we were at work & we could not find ANYTHING after that!  lol  They would also put stuff from the dishwasher away in the wrong places & I about went insane.  I know they were just trying to help & I did appreciate that but it was a little bit frustrating that they put stuff away in random places so we couldn't find things that we normally leave out or had left out for a purpose because we'd be needing it soon. 

OMG...this so happened to me after we had a birthday party at my house and had the family over. It was nice of the offer to help, but yikes! I still can't find some stuff I used to use all the time. Makes me crazy!!

heatherlane

I picked other. I would probably let my MIL do that, although I might tell her I would rather her stick to common areas.

But you said "I'm really uncomfortable with that" so in your situation, I'd simply say, "thanks for offering, but I'm an adult and I think I can handle it...feel free to bring dinner any time since you know I can't cook!"

jmj715

No way.  Although I would appreciate the offer, I would never let MIL clean our house or much less have a copy of our house key.  I don't have a very objective point of view on this issue though because my MIL has personal issues where she can't be trusted with things like this, i.e. our valuables would be missing.

PuppyMommy

Nope. Never ever.  I would also be annoyed that she would ask. I would take it as her saying that my hosue isn't clean enough.  This all stems from when my H lived in CA and my in-laws came to stay with us for a week. We were in a rental and you know how they never look clean CLEAN.  We spent forever cleaning and the place looked great.  My freakin' in-laws had my H take them to the store about an hour after he picked them up at LAX, so they could buy cleaning products and they re-cleaned the bathroom and bedroom where they were staying.  I was livid. Who does that?

My Mom also never cleans when she comes to visit.  There are boundaries....

mfransdell

I'd let the mail man scrub my floors if he wanted to!

lovesazzie

I'd be uncomfortable with it, but I would let her because it would be a big load off my shoulders. It's not like she's doing it while you are perfectly capable - you've got a lot going on and should rest while you can. JMO.

CalledOut

I wouldn't want her in our bedroom, but other than that - heck yeah!!  My MIL is going to watch LO 2 days / week and I've secretly been hoping that maybe she'll do a little vaccuming and laundry while we're working (how terrible is that!!)

jesh1111

Nice an opening to rant...

My MIL came last weekend to help out while I am on bedrest. I said great I need to hang his curtains and wanted to get flowers planted in our window box of sticks. Turned out she stayed HERE for 3 nights and just Vaccumed everything for hours and hours. I told her not to clean my sheets since dh did them 4 days earlier. While I was on the couch so she could vaccum the bedroom she FRICKIN cleaned my sheets, I came to get back in bed an hour later and couldnt because they were in the dryer.

We had to go back to the hospital on saturday and while we were there she cleaned out our fridge. Getting rid of everything my husband put in tupperware to freeze, and food that had not gone bad like 6 eggs because there was another full newer carton. She also re arranged my bedroom furnature (switched out a night stand for a larger table )

She never planted the flowers or hung the curtains. And I dont know why she vaccumed our hardwood floors in the first place.

rianals

I would let my hypothetical mother in law clean my house, but my real one doesn't do a lot of cleaning.  However, my husband's mother in law (Yeah, that would be my mom) has actually moved in with us and does a lot of the cleaning.  (I've only washed the dishes once in 3 weeks!  And DH does laundry, so I haven't done that in over two years!)  My mom is going to stay with us until we finish building her house this summer and I am thrilled to have her put her cleaning skills to good use.

 Also, my biological father's girlfriend (can you wrap your head around that one?  Families can be very interesting.) loves cleaning and keeps asking when she can come and deep clean my house.  I'm all for it.  This way, I can focus on other things and still have a neat house when baby gets here.

Mama Jan

I'll be honest.  My mom cleans my house.  It's something she likes to do and I never ever ask her.  She will call occasionally and ask if I want my house cleaned.  I never tell her no and I appreciate it so much.

My own MIL? No, I wouldn't let her (and she wouldn't ever think of it).  But if I had a different relationship with her than I actually do, yes I would.

madonnadouwanna

DH asked if I minded having his mom come down once before the baby was born to help clean.  I said if he wanted to, but I felt if we attacked it as a team we would be okay.  I think I would be fine with the idea of once, but definitely when we were there to help.  Plus, his mom is nosy and I would feel uncomfortable about her "uncovering" something and it being told to the rest of the family. 

orion09

she could clean the kitchen if she just HAD to feel like she was doing something to help... but i sure as heck wouldn't leave a key... and as far as bedroom cleaning... ummm hell no!

Mama Jan

mfransdell:

I'd let the mail man scrub my floors if he wanted to!

LOL!!

jk09uhed89

other because MIL doesnt clean her own house theres no way she would be over cleaning mine

zeesbride

Breezer80:

Abso-freaking-loutely. I am a terrible housekeeper and would let anyone clean my house at any time.

This 100%.  

Junebug0617

My MIL doesn't clean her own house, so why would she try to pretend to clean mine?  My mom on the other hand is a neat freak, so I'd totally let her and if DH would say anything, I'd tell him to clean so she wouldn't feel the need to!  However, we are both neat freaks, so this won't really happen!

Ricca'sBaby

I'd say it all depends on what your relationship is like with your MIL. My MIL is great at cooking and cleaning and never oversteps boundaries, and she and I have a pretty comfortable relationship. So I'd be grateful for some help from her. I also know that recently when she went to visit my SIL after she had her baby a few months ago, my MIL was AWESOME with helping with everything. I plan to let her help out whenever she offers!

nicolehoppe

My MIL thinks that she should care for the baby while I clean the house.  She would never offer.

JasonsMauiMama

No way! My BF offered to come and clean since I'm on bedrest.  I reluctantly agreed, but DH put his foot down and said no. (Bless him).

I might let my sisters clean if they lived nearby, but not my mom nor my MIL.

FWIW - a few years ago, DH and I rented a house when I was 7 1/2 months pregnant. MIL and SIL insisted on coming down and helping me clean the kitchen before we moved in. Even though they weren't messing with my stuff, they were forcing themselves in on my space.  I appreciated the thought behind the gesture...but would have been OK with the gesture remaining a thought.

soontobejesseng

youretheonefatty:

MIL doesnt clean her own house theres no way she would be over cleaning mine

lol-- this is what I thought immediately in response to the question.  (How she cleans: sends stuff DH will never need or use again home with him when he visits.  I hate hearing the line, "Oh, I was down in the basement/up in the attic and I found..." b/c it means that a load of crap is coming to our house.)  That, and she'll never ever make the 45-minute drive to visit anyway.