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Babies: 9 - 12 Months
Wit's End... CIO
Ok... CIO
I've tried the CIO method... he has gone for two hours straight, screaming, not fussing. ?He is soaked through with sweat and there is no end in sight... anyone else experience something of this magnitude??
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Re: Wit's End... CIO
NO!!!!
When we did this and IF he cried we only let him for ten minutes!
Yes. DS has amazing stamina when he wants to. Honestly, once he hits the two hour mark, I usually give in and go in and feed him. Nine times out of ten, he'll drink about 2 ounces and then zonk out at that point.
Are you doing the ferber method of going in and comforting him? That works with some babies, and others it just serves to piss them off more (DS falls in between, depending on his mood).
Good luck, it's hard to CIO.
If you have an easy baby, you won't understand getting to the point of having to teach them to self-soothe. Believe me, it isn't a decision that most of us take lightly and we don't "like" to do it, but we were at our wit's end and NOTHING we did was soothing him anymore. He was just up for hours at a time and NONE of us were happy about it. Give OP a break. Again, it is not fun to have to go through this, even if they only cry for a couple minutes.
hmmmm DD never went that long. Was this the first night for you? He may not be 'right' for that approach, like a pp said sometimes it just makes them even more unable to settle.
I think I was pretty easy on her actually. I may not understand it because I have an easy baby....but I still like to think I would search for other ways to get the baby to learn to self-soothe other than letting them cry for 2 hours straight and sweating through their clothes. I know my opinion doesn't count in your eyes since I don't have a difficult child, but plain and simple there are other ways in my opinion...
what are the other ways?
If he's still crying, I would go in and pick him up.
We tried the Ferber method and going in at intervals, and failed miserably. Every time we went in, DS would scream even louder. This would go on for up to an hour before I just caved and would pick him up. He was drenched in sweat and heaving from crying so hard. I felt horrible. Two minutes of rocking him, and he would be out.
We decided to try just CIO and not go in at intervals. The first night, he cried about 15 min and was out. Within a week, we could set him down and he would roll over and go right to sleep. Good luck! It's a hard thing to go through, but it's so much better in the end.
Yes, we tried ferber twice and it was a disaster. We followed ferber's book and declared it a fail on the 2nd night. Ds could not settle down and fall asleep and he got very (hysterically) upset. We tried 2 separte times (at 6mo and 10 mo) with the same results.
Now we are doing a modified CIO with comforting him. It is working a lot better. We're following our instincts this time. It is going a lot slower but it's easier on all of us.
I do NOT have a super easy baby at all. I didn't even entertain the notion of CIO until DD was 10 months and didn't do it until 12. So to the posters who said, you have no idea, I DO.
I think it is abusive to let your 5-6 month old CIO for 2 hours. Go pick that child up! I don't know what other methods you have tried, but that is obviously not working. Have you read No Cry Sleep Solution or Ferber's book? Leaving your young baby in their crib to cry endlessly is not the right way to do it. Ferber's method works well for a lot of babies, but you have to do it right, and extinction CIO is not the way.
Clearly every parent has their own opinions. And what works for one child might not work for another.
https://www.parentingscience.com/sleep-tips.html
https://www.parentingscience.com/Ferber-method.html
https://www.parentingscience.com/infant-sleep-training.html
.
YES. The first night we did Ferber it took two hours. The second night was better and by the third night it only took 4 minutes. I am a firm believer in Ferber - have you read his book? Was this your first night? The first night is very very difficult and you doubt yourself a million times. But by the third night you will be very happy and I agree with what Ferber says in his book. You are doing your child a favor by teaching them to self sooth. We TRIED many other methods before trying Ferber because I hated the idea of it. For our baby, this was the only way she could learn and now she sleeps so much better.
We are working on a modified CIO method (at the rec of my pedi). I put him to bed asleep (I feed him and rock him to sleep). If he wakes up, I let him cry but I sit next to his bed and stroke his hair, rub his back, etc, talk to him, but I don't pick him up. He sometimes cries for an hour or more. I hate it but it had gotten so bad he refused to sleep anywhere but in our laps or in the bed with us and we've broken him of that habit (even if he still would prefer it). That said, I did not start this until last month (he was 10.5 months old).
I am not discounting anyone's opinion. I come from a place where we had no choice but to use Ferber after trying a million and ten soothing techniques that just were not working. I also stated that I am not sure I could take 2 hours and am happy I never had to deal with that. But OP didn't ask for our judgements, she asked if anyone had been through anything like this.
we got to two hours on our worst night of ferber (real ferber with checks). it is sooooo hard and if you haven't done it or haven't needed to do it NO i'm sorry your opinion doesn't count. the only thing that kept me going is the line in the book about if you let them cry for two hours and then went in you really did just let them cry for no reason. if you let them cry for 2 hours and 15 mins you helped them learn. at around 6 mos. they should be able to sleep better and if they can't its your job to help them. if he isn't stopping crying when you hold him or feed him though that would make me wonder if it wasn't something else that is bothering him.
if he is sweating that much maybe the room is too warm and once he works himself up he is now too uncomfortable to sleep.
our baby screamed too and cried so much there were wet spots on her sheets but she wouldn't sleep on her own and she didn't want to sleep with us anymore and she was waking more than 10 times a night she needed help.
I'm sorry it is so hard for you, I would say keep it up if you can bc i think it really is best for them. try a baby crack machine, lights on or off, music, mobile, security object... anything that will help them but don't give up.
i agree with this. i think ferber can be confusing to some babies in terms of going in at intervals.
And AS I STATED ORIGINALLY I don't know her context and I gave her sympathy for the difficult time. Plenty of other ladies are saying the same thing as me - go pick up your baby. I am hardly alone in my sentiment. So get off my back, please
I had to do this with DD. But she was a year old. I'm not sure how old the op's child is.
Ferber didn't work for DD. If I went in to soothe her it made the situation worse. I had to let her CIO on her own. With Ferber, one night she cried off and on for almost an hour and a half. When I stopped going in, she cried for 15 minutes the first night and about 8 minutes the second night. Since then it's been very rare that she cries.
She was about a year old when we started letting her CIO. It was another 3 months before she was consistant during the middle of the night. I wanted to get her to sleep on her own before I tackled the middle of the night wakings.
Her baby is 5.5 months.
OP, I read your other post about how this is happening at 3 am. How long has it been going on? Maybe it's just a phase? I mean, DD's sleep habits have varied from month to month and sometimes week to week.
Have you tried bringing LO into bed with you at the 3 am waking to see if that helps get him more tired? Or perhaps put him down to bed earlier (I know it sounds counterintuitive), later, or don't let him nap as much during the day.
If the baby just wants to play, does he want to play with you watching him or is he content to play in his crib at 3 am by himself?
My CIO experience was very similar to this. Before we were fully committed to trying CIO, I went in to soothe at intervals and it only made DD more upset.
Are you sure LO isn't sick or suffering from an ear infection? I don't know if I could let DD cry hard for 2 hours. I'm thankful that she's an easy baby and doesn't cry much. GL to you!!