How do you cope with leaving LO?

AlXaNgEl

I just returned to work this week and it's been so hard When will this nauseous feeling of having to leave your LO in the morning go away?? I dread my morning cause I get so upset about having to leave him. I miss him so much during the day. Any advice??

kgb1411

Sort of the same way you coped with breaking up with your college boyfriend.  Cry about it, talk about him to the point that strangers ask how you are doing and your co-workers hide when they see you coming, look at tons of pictures all day long, call the daycare just to make sure that he's doing okay, and for right now, feel perfectly positive that you will never get over this ever, and it is going to feel this way for the rest of your life. 

Then, eventually, you start to realize that it isn't as hard anymore and you are doing okay.  And after a little while you realize that you actually like your life a lot better this way, and you are glad you made the decision to go back to work.

At least that's how it was for me.

cluk3510

kgb1411:

Sort of the same way you coped with breaking up with your college boyfriend.  Cry about it, talk about him to the point that strangers ask how you are doing and your co-workers hide when they see you coming, look at tons of pictures all day long, call the daycare just to make sure that he's doing okay, and for right now, feel perfectly positive that you will never get over this ever, and it is going to feel this way for the rest of your life. 

Then, eventually, you start to realize that it isn't as hard anymore and you are doing okay.  And after a little while you realize that you actually like your life a lot better this way, and you are glad you made the decision to go back to work.

At least that's how it was for me.

 

I agree 100%. It is hard at first and you will cry or at least want to. This is only my second week back, so I understand completely what you are going through.

 Good Luck!!! It gets better!

madhatter2003

Yep, I agree with the others. Just know it gets easier in time, and that is ok to miss him and be sad.

blondie75

I'm sorry you're  having a hard time!  I don't have any really advice, other than letting you know that it should get easier.   

ai&Jas

kgb1411:

Sort of the same way you coped with breaking up with your college boyfriend.  Cry about it, talk about him to the point that strangers ask how you are doing and your co-workers hide when they see you coming, look at tons of pictures all day long, call the daycare just to make sure that he's doing okay, and for right now, feel perfectly positive that you will never get over this ever, and it is going to feel this way for the rest of your life. 

Then, eventually, you start to realize that it isn't as hard anymore and you are doing okay.  And after a little while you realize that you actually like your life a lot better this way, and you are glad you made the decision to go back to work.

At least that's how it was for me.

I also agree with this 100%- very well put! I promise that it will get better  

 

mrsfitz35

kgb1411:

Sort of the same way you coped with breaking up with your college boyfriend.  Cry about it, talk about him to the point that strangers ask how you are doing and your co-workers hide when they see you coming, look at tons of pictures all day long, call the daycare just to make sure that he's doing okay, and for right now, feel perfectly positive that you will never get over this ever, and it is going to feel this way for the rest of your life. 

Then, eventually, you start to realize that it isn't as hard anymore and you are doing okay.  And after a little while you realize that you actually like your life a lot better this way, and you are glad you made the decision to go back to work.

At least that's how it was for me.

 

Absurdly well put!! I was awake standing over her bed crying every night for the first week. Seriously...I didn't sleep. The older they get, the better it gets I think. Now when I go pick Sidney up, she sees our car and runs screaming with excitement to the door  every day (she's in an in-home care center). It's a great feeling.

You LO still loves Mama...you'll always be Mama and he'll always love you a little bit more than anyone else in the world! I promise!

14years

Ditto all the pps.  It WILL get much easier.  In the meantime, make sure you have lots of pictures of him at work and call the daycare whenever you want to check in.  They won't mind, and trust me, they're used to it.

(HUGS)

PeacheeKeen

Great advice everyone... this is only my second week back and today is a little bit rough for me.  Could be lack of sleep or the fact that my LO went to bed before I even got home last night

KatGapp

Its my second week back too.  Today is his first time with daycare (he's been with Grandma other days).  I look at pictures, and check in at lunch time.  Its been rough.  Especially because with my long commute I feel like I hardly get to see him.  I keep thinking about what I am going to miss and it drives me crazy.  But I look forward to that big smile he gives when he sees me and think about how peaceful he looks when we put him to bed.  That helps. Each day get easier. 

DAuger

I'm right there with you. Today is my 3rd day back at work and normally I WAH an DS is here with a sitter. Today, the sitter took him to her house and I'm worried sick. I cried as they pulled out of my driveway!

Amy&Anthony

live for the moment that you get there to pick him up.

Focus on getting your work done as fast as possible so that there are no delays in leaving

when you need to once you get back in the car from dropping him off, turn the music up as loud as you can and cry it out.

know that they love being with you but they need food clothing and shetler.

 

gypsywitch

Do you work near the daycare? When DD was an infant, I used to go visit her on my lunch breaks. Being there and seeing how well the caretakers took care of her and how much she enjoyed where she was made me very much at ease about leaving her there.

fIowerchild

Awesome response from kgb. Yeh, pretty much what she said.  It helps that our DC has several live feed cameras in the room for me to watch the action. I used to watch all.day.long. Now I barely log in most days.

Rach716

I remember it being really hard at the begining.  I find myself now focusing on my work and trying to get it all done so that when I do pick up DS, my mind is completly on him.

 I remember the tears and the worries, On March 12th, when DS was almost 8 months, I posted this on my blog.  Just as a reminder that it does get better, the choice you made was fine, and your son is no less loved because of it!

"Leaving your child in someone else's care for 45 hours a week can be very difficult on a mother's heart. During the day, my mind sometimes will wander...thinking about my baby being cared for by someone we picked out off of a list of local certified child-care providers. Is he being loved enough? Is he getting cared for like I would care for him? Is he happy? Does she play with him enough? Is he safe? Sometimes I just worry that he is not getting the care that I had hoped for because of the cheap rate we found. Sometimes I just wonder...

Today, I took Brendan inside to see Marion. She walked over to him, arms open wide, with a big smile and he shrieked with excitement and started jumping around in my arms at the possibilities of today. My heart feels better."

https://startingout08.blogspot.com/2009/03/leaving-your-child-in-someone-elses.html

Denesdia

It sounds like a lot of us are just recently returning to work.    This is my first full-time week, with three previous weeks of part-time.  I am feeling sad and out of the loop with my DD, but my evenings are extra precious.  I know things will get easier, but it's nice to know that we are not alone.

AlisaS

Be confident in your decision to be a working mother. Kids thrive in good daycares and if you are a happy person, your family will be better for it.

Know that it is so much harder on you than it is on your child.

Rach716

AlisaS:

Be confident in your decision to be a working mother. Kids thrive in good daycares and if you are a happy person, your family will be better for it.

Know that it is so much harder on you than it is on your child.

That is very true!

weemodin

I agree that it's certainly much harder on you than it is on your child. ?Take it one day at a time!

lilliebear

I balled the first time I left DD for work (and my parents were taking care of her).  It did get easier...  Once I took her to daycare it was still very hard, but when I picked her up that night she was so happy I felt I was doing the right thing.

 That being said I have to admit I am a lurker - I bring her to daycare then stay untill I have to leave to get to work on time.