Babies: 9 - 12 Months

at wits end...

I have not been on since 3rd trimester...but I just needed to vent and hopefully get advice from some fellow moms.  My son is 7 months and 19 pounds, 28 inches.  He has been going to bed between 7:30 and 8, getting up at 4:30am to eat, and then up for the day at 7am (to go to daycare), since 2 months old.  Since Friday night he has been terribly fussy once in bed, about every 30 minutes or so.  He will wake up, scream and cry every 2 to 3 hours.  He does not take a bottle at this time.  He still only wants 1 a night.  My husband and I spent last night fighting and "dealing" with the situation.  I called the Dr. and spoke with a nurse, because I was concerned about an ear infection as a possible reason for his behavior.  She basically told me no, and the issue is that he is not getting enough food (hence the stats above) and needs a bottle before bed.  Well he has never eaten and gone to sleep, even as a newborn.  Also, we have increased his food per her recomendation but it is not helping.  I don't know what to do.  My husband and I pretty much want to kill each other.  The lack of sleep is also hurting my work, as I have no focus because I am just trying to stay awake.  Basically I just want to sit at my desk and cry, because I am so tired and feel like a horrible mom because I don't know how to help him. 

A friend on mine said I should just take him to urgent care re: a potential ear infection.  Another suggested just letting him cry it out, which I am not opposed to, but I dont know that he is just crying for attention.  We do let him fuss it out. 

He has signs of teething - excessive drool and putting everything in his mouth - but no signs of teeth, so I am not sure that this is the issue either. 

I greatly appreciate anyone who has managed to read my long ramblings and any advice or thoughts people are willing to share.  Thank you!

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Re: at wits end...

  • A kid can be teething for a LONG time before you actually see teeth.  And that's what it sounds like to me.  He's up for comfort, not food.  That nurse is an idiot.  He's sleeping great and not hungry when he wakes. 

    When something isn't right with DD she wakes more than usual - that's just par for the course. 

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  • Your DS's height & weight sound fine to me (my DS is long & lean, too, at over 8 mos.), so I wouldn't think being hungry is the issue.

    I'd make sure there is no ear infection.  I don't like the fact the nurse is trying to diagnose him over the phone.

    Past that, you can try giving him pain reliever if you do think it's teething.  

    If he's still crying/not sleeping and you're not opposed to CIO, it's worth a shot.  My DS quit STTN at 5.5 mos. (after having the exact schedule as yours) and didn't start STTN again until we CIO'd a couple of weeks ago.  I finally feel normal again.  

    GL!

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  • Janimal - is there anything you do to soothe her? I guess more than the sleep for myself I am worried about his discomfort.  We have tried tylenol and it doesnt seem to make a difference. 
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  • A) that nurse is an idiot and I may consider speaking to the Pedi about her or switching completely! DS was only 18lb 3oz at his 9mo appt and our Pedi wasn't concerned. He's always been on the smaller side.

    Next, I think you may want to at least get his ears looked at to check the possibility of an ear infection. It's better safe than sorry and at least you could rule out that possibility. He could also be teething, maybe try giving some baby tylenol or motrin before bed to see if that'll help. DS gets pretty cranky when he's got teeth coming in.

    I know how frustrating it can be to have a screaming baby and not knowing why they're crying...I've had many a disagreement with DH just out of pure frustration. I hope you're able to get him figured out and back to sleeping and happy soon! GL!

  • Here are my long, drawn out thoughts... 

    Does he stop crying when he sees you or you pick him up?  If so it is most likely not pain (ear infection or teeth) or hunger.  Most likely he wants attention.  My solution for that is not necessarily a popular one - let him cry it out.  We went through this and DS stopped waking in 3 nights.

    If he keeps crying when you pick him up, then it is something other than attention.  Try some orajel.  If it calms him, it is probably teeth and then you could give him some tylenol (warning, you may have to give it every 4 hours if he wakes up in pain again).

    If the orajel doesn't sooth him I would take him to the pediatrician to check his ears.

  • I agree - it's probably teething.  It's really hard at this time, because they are hurting, and there is little to do to soothe.  Give him something to chew on and that will help a little.  We were bad and just brought DD in with us as she just really wanted to snuggle since she wasn't feeling well.  We slept better as did she.  I know many are against this, but it worked for us. 

    Every baby is different though.  Once you find out what works for you, things will be better. Rest assured that this too will pass.  

    Another word of advice, get a sitter one night (sleep over if possible).  Go to dinner with your husband and sleep.  You both need it.  Good luck!

  • First, I can't believe that the nurse would completely rule out an ear infection without seeing your LO.  I would start by taking him to an urgent care or something similar to have someone actually look at him.

    If there is no ear infection (or any other problem) try using a bit of Orajel or Motrin before bed to see if that helps with teething pain. 

    Once you know that there is no medical issues, I would try Ferber.  It worked wonders for us. 

    Our LO went through a period of separation anxiety around 6 1/2 months where he would scream until we came in the room and then he would be happy as a clam and want to play for an hour or so. He only did this for about 5 days (a tough 5 days for us!) before he started sleeping again. 

  • I would say it has nothing to do with attention and cio isn't going to help. Sounds like teeth to me and I would request they schedule an appointment to see if there is an ear infection.

    Try motrin (it lasts 8 hours) and see if that helps. Also, seriously, tell the nurse you need to be seen. She should not be telling you your son is hungry over the phone. That's crazy to me. I'm be furious if that's what i heard from my pedi! 

  • ps Tylenol was a freaking joke in our house. It made ZERO difference. She wasn't feeling better until we started to use Motrin. 
  • Thank you for the advice.  Sometimes, he does stop when we pick him up, but other times he continues to scream.  We have tried Tylenol, but it doesnt seem to make a difference.  I will pick up some oragel today.  And work to get my husband on the same page for crying it out.  If tonight is bad, I will be taking him to the Dr for sure tomorrow as well. 

     Also thank you all for re-assuring me on the food thing. 

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  • I agree with everyone else re: teething and the nurse being terrible. Try the motrin!
  • First, I don't see anything wrong with your LO's measurements - DS was 19 lb 3 oz and 29 inches long at 7 months... 

    If he's not hungry, doesn't need a diaper changed and isn't sick (I would take him into the pedi to rule out illness) - and you're not opposed to CIO - you may want to give it a shot.  If you suspect teething, but Tylenol doesn't work - have you tried Motrin or Orajel?  FWIW - DS had a similar stint recently and it was the beginnings of a sinus infection...

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  • imageJ&N01.05.08:

    Thank you for the advice.  Sometimes, he does stop when we pick him up, but other times he continues to scream.  We have tried Tylenol, but it doesnt seem to make a difference.  I will pick up some oragel today.  And work to get my husband on the same page for crying it out.  If tonight is bad, I will be taking him to the Dr for sure tomorrow as well. 

     Also thank you all for re-assuring me on the food thing. 

    note, orajel only works for about 15 minutes...i know, dh and i have tried it ourselves. BUT it does help quiet her down until the mortin kicks in.

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