Babies: 9 - 12 Months

Am I overthinking this (MIL related)?

We were visiting DH's aunt on Saturday with my ILs; DH's cousin was there with her kids too. The youngest (2 and a half - said aunt's grandson) somehow got into the cupboard, pulled out a glass and broke it. DH's cousin and aunt went to clean up. At this point I noticed MIL sitting the kid on the counter and telling him in a fairly stern voice what he did was wrong and not to do it again (I have to say DH's cousin kinda spoils her kids, there isn't too much disciplining going on).

It kinda bothered me that MIL would try to discipline someone else's kid. DH says it's no big deal. I don't know... I mean I didn't get very upset by it or anything, it just seems like it wasn't her place, kwim? So who's right, DH or me?

Re: Am I overthinking this (MIL related)?

  • Well, did DH's cousin get upset? If she didn't, you certainly should not.
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  • i don't think there's a right or wrong. ?it's your opinion. ?if i were uncomfortable with it, i'd probably tell the person (nicely) that i would handle the disciplining from there. ?and if your H's cousin doesn't really discipline her children, it probably wouldn't hurt for someone to explain to the kids what went wrong. ?jmo.
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  • I honestly think that if the mother of the child didn't say anything, either to discipline first or (like PP said) about your MIL doing the discipline, I think you shouldn't worry about it. 

    If you're worried about her trying that on your DC, just make sure that you are there with the discipline first, be clear that it's done, and then cut her off if she tries to do more.  Is she usually a pushy person?  GL.

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  • If it's a discipline method that I would use then I wouldn't care too much.  If MIL smacked the kid that's different.  This was also something safety related the kid should have been talked to at that moment.  Your MIL might have been worried about what could have happened or what could happen in the future.

    If you don't want your MIL to do this to your kid then make sure she knows and that your DH is on board to back you up.

  • I guess it is more about me worrying that she may do something similar with DD. And yes, she is generally a little pushy. And H's cousin didn't seem to mind, so yeah, I guess you're all right about this... It just seemed odd, that's all.
  • it would bother me. it would bother me if my MIL disciplined MY kid in general - so i would think its odd if she did so to someone else. weird.
  • I would be bothered just because I know that I would discipline her myself. If I wasn't going to do anything about it, sure. DH has cousins who are a little out of control and most of the time their parents don't really keep tabs on them. MIL is always having to reign them in and stop them before they destroy something. If they did something wrong in my own house, I would probably mention it to the mother and if she didn't care when they did it again, I would be all over it.

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