Sorry, but I just need to kind of vent. I am a stay-at-home mom, and I was just away from my DD for the first time for 3 days. I had my parents watch her for the weekend. When I got back to my parents house my DH and I decided that we would visit with my family for a few days. Last night my DD was very upset, and cried for about an hour. My dad came in the bedroom we were staying in came in and said let your mom take Olivia to calm her down. I was so upset that they thought they could calm her down "better" then I could that I told him fine and left my parents house I went for a drive for an hour, and as soon as I got back my dad told me Olivia stopped crying once I left and my mom held her. I was crushed! Am I over reacting?
Re: Thinks my parents over stepped......
I think your Dad could have kept his mouth shut, but it was super childish of you to actually leave your child when she was crying to drive around for an hour. ?What a weird way to handle the situation.
She was probably just overtired after a weekend with her grandparents and being in a different place and this was her way of showing you that she missed you. ?I would certainly hope that she had stopped crying before you returned since you were gone for an HOUR.
You need to grow up and understand that your baby is a human with complex emotions and is not always going to handle situations the way that you expect her to. ?
Running away because your feelings are hurt is not healthy or mature.
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Brendan 06.30.08
c/p 02.26.10
Your LO probably felt abandoned by you, which is why she was so upset. DD gets like this when my DH works long hours on the weekend and she doesn't get to see him all day. The next day she will be fine and is really happy to see him, but as soon as she gets tired all hell breaks loose. He can't console her or anything, she will only let me do it.
I don't think your parents overstepped, I think they were just trying to help, but I don't think either of you handled it well.
Everything she said. Why would you leave the house? That's a very odd reaction to the situation.
I don't think your parents overstepped, but I can understand your feelings. I don't think you reacted very maturely, but we all do weird things from time to time when our feelings have been hurt.
If you wanted to handle YOUR BABY's crying, then you should have just said, "Thanks Dad I appreciate the offer but I've got it under control, I'll let yuo know if I need you guys".
They were just trying to help. I know you were maybe feeling a little raw because you'd just been away for a few days. And at some level you were probably worrying that your child didn't "want" you anymore, so you snapped at your Dad when he was not trying to be hurtful, and took it out on them.
Yes, I think you overreacted.
I know that I didn't handle the situation well, but the whole reason that I had left was because I had already told my parents 3 times that I didn't need their help. The 4th time my dad just told me to let my mom hold her, with me not being in the room. I usually would not just leave like that, but I did not want to be in the same house while my mom was consoling my DD.
You didn't have to do either. ?::sigh:: ?I know it is hard sometimes with parents because they can tend to forget that you are not a little kid anymore, but you are an adult and the Mom and the sooner you set that straight with your parents, the better your relationship will be with them.
You have to set boundaries NOW while your DD is a baby. ?You are the Mom and they are the grandparents. ?They can offer their advice, but you make the decisions. ?Don't let them bully you.
GL?
It was wrong of your dad to bully you and to take DD away from you. You should have only needed to say, "Thanks Dad, but I think we've got it". My IL's used be this way - if they'd been watching DS for the day, when DH and I came to get DS they would still take charge because it was their house and they had been watching him all day. Not cool. DH had a talk with them and said that even though we appreciate their help, DS is our son, and we'll take care of him - if we need help, we'll ask.
That said, leaving the house was pretty immature. You and your DH should have stood up to your parents and taken control of the situation. Going for a drive and leaving at that time just reinforces any thought that your parents might have about you still being a kid.
Yes.