Anyone else's mom like this?

jumagirl

My mom was dumbfounded when I m/c'd. ?In her world, bad things can't happen to her little girl. ?She demanded an explanation and started coming up with insane theories as to why I m/c'd. ?She couldn't fathom that m/c's happen and that they are, in fact, common.

?Anyhoo, she also falls into the "talking about?miscarriages?is taboo" set of people. ?I was talking to her today about something else in my life that is stressing me and when that topic was over, she asked "so how are you doing with that other thing?" ?Yes, she actually called the m/c a "thing." ?Ugh. ?I guess I should be happy that she asked how I was doing. ?I told her I still haven't gotten my period back after almost 9 weeks. ?Apparently that was TMI; it's as though she didn't want to hear anything other than "I'm great, you'll have a new grandbaby in no time." ?

I really wish I had my mom to support me through this, but at times I feel like I have to support her over the loss of her grandchild - that her loss is greater than mine.

Sorry, just needed to vent. ?Anyone else want to?commiserate??

JennLuvsMatt

My mom acts like I was never pregnant, never had a m/c.  It's like she doesn't really believe a person is pregnant unless you end up with a living baby at the end.  She never had any issues with pregnancy.  Got pregnant right away.  Not once did she ever ask how I was feeling, if I wanted to talk.  All she does is make comments like "Maybe one day I'll be a grandmother".  She has not been very supportive but thankfully my aunt (who had issues with fertility) has been very supportive and she is the one I go to when I'm having a down day and need to talk.   

Cow-girl

Im sorry your mom is being so insensitive.  My mom told me we should "just adopt" because my body has been through too much lately..

 

Ginaincali

My mom was great at first.  She flew down after we lost Bryanna and had just been so great.  Lately however she has gotten mean about how she talks to me regarding the baby.  She told me Bryanna was a "sick fetus" gee mom I'm sorry but Bryanna was born was alive and died she has a birth and death certificate I think that makes her more then a sick fetus!  Also how do we know she was sick?  She was 20 weeks and survived on her own for an hour and 39 mintues!  Doesn't seem like a sick baby to me!  I have also gotten really bad anxiety since i've gone through all of this and she tells me I'm not trying to get better and i'm milking the attention and trying to make everyone feel sorry for me.  I'm in therapy 2x's a week and seeing an acupuncturist for my anxiety really and I'm not trying to get better?  She just doesn't understand.  I dont think she is intentionally trying to be ugly I think she is attempting "Tough Love" and its just not going to fly with me right now.  She wants me to "Hurry up and get better" so that we can have a baby again.  And "Let Bryanna Go" as if I will ever truly let her go and just forget about her. 

ade2be

I'm sorry your mom is acting that way.  If it makes you feel better, my mom thinks I should just accept my 50+ day cycles because I'm still recovering from the mc (its been 6 months...I really think my body would have regulated by now and oh yeah, its always been that way!)

redshoegirl

I'm shocked that anyone's mom would act like that! How awful!

If anything, I have the OPPOSITE problem with my mom. She was so thrilled to find out that I wanted to have a baby (I don't like babies or children in general - I'm just convinced I could love my own lol), that now she keeps talking about how happy she is that I realized I wanted kids and that I was pregnant even if we lost it, and commiserating with me over the loss. It's nice to know she cares and that she's so enthusiastic, but at the same time it's hard to explain to her that it's not the only thing I want to talk about. 

KateAndMark

My mom was great when she was here the weekend I had my D&C. After that, she hardly mentions it. She ask about my Dr appts but never talks about the M/C. I don't bring it up with her either though because I know she doesn't want to talk about it.

My MIL ask how I am doing which is really nice.

1stTimeMommy2Be

I was with my mom the day that I m/c... she should understand bc she had 2 m/c and a 3 yr old pass away... she was absolutely wonderful the day of (other than the few comments about 'there must've been something wrong with it' or 'it might have been retarded')... she sat in the bathroom with me hugging me and loving on me... did everything right... THEN i left... the only times we talk about it is when i bring it up... she still talks about her "grand-dogs" but never mentions her angel grandchild it makes me sad to think about it... but when i told her we were TTC soon, she of course gets all excited again...

Mrs.EmmaLouise

My mom was with me when I went in for my NT scan- where I found out I had a m/c.  At the time it looked like a BO.  And the doctor who did it (not my OB thank god) just kept saying it was an unsucessful pregnancy, and anembryonic pregnancy, ect.  So my mom just kept asking, "so she was never pregnant?" and "I just dont get it, was she ever pregnant?"

I was already crying when I saw the u/s screen, but then to hear my mom say that over and over.  I felt like a kid again introuble for lying.  Like she was accusing me of lying.  It was hard.  She drove me home (we had a whole day planned, do the u/s, get lunch, go shopping) and took my sister (she was staying with me for a few weeks in between apartments) and left me alone.  I was devistated, and I just kept hearing her voice saying again and again "Was she even pregnant?"

Now that we got the dx of pmp, shes much more supportive, like she needed the answers to help her deal.  She would ask me lots about how my blood work was going, if all my follow ups were going well.  But never how I was doing mentally/physically.  That kind of hurt, but thats just the way she is.